feel unsure :/

a little backstory-

so i am a half Polish and half English female.

I speak some Polish but i am not fluent.
Throughout secondary school so years 7 to 11. i went to a very diverse school and there were many full-blooded Polish girls there. They would try and speak to me in Polish at first but i didn't know fluent so i had to explain that i am only half.
they took exception to this and almost treated me as kind of an outsider because i am only half, not full blooded Polish like them.
I am learning the Polish language now, i love my culture and celebrate it and want to feel connected to it in the best way possible. i have even been to Poland a couple of times.
what those full blooded girls used to do is discriminate me because i was only half. whenever i said to them or anyone 'i'm polish' they would butt in and be like 'no you're not, your dad is English.'
my best friend throughout secondary school (7-11) was full blooded Polish and those girls and her would speak in fluent Polish and always make out i'm this impure half blood thing because i am only half Polish. They make this big deal about it and told everyone about it.
I was at a party with my best friend and she is mates with these other full blooded Polish girls from the Polish church she went to with them. I go to a English Catholic church and only rarely the polish church coz its far away and etc.
those girls did have their own little 'click' and made me feel discriminated. they started speaking in fluent while i couldn't understand. also whenever adults came in, they would all point to me and say i am English girl and not Polish girl like i don't belong there or something.
I told my mum (full Polish) about all of this recently and she said that it's just silly little girl and children being catty towards one another and having their own silly little 'clicks.' she said it is childish.

I partly agree with that because when i entered sixth form and met Polish BOYS who were nice and spoke fluent Polish but not to me and even offered to teach me some.
I even met a Polish girl at sixth form and she was nice, so maybe it's about like what my mum said and those girls from my old school being arrogant and childish??

The weird thing is tho is that i felt connected to those Polish people, or all Polish people for that matter. There was a connection there because of the heritage and nationality and also when i went to Poland i felt like i was at home ykk.
I also love my English heritage, i am English too and i love my dad and the history etc.
I love both sides.

SO-- i am hopefully going to go to university in september and they unleashed all the clubs and societies.
I noticed there was a Polish society as was there many others regarding nationalities all over the world.
What i am nervous about however is that if I go then i will be discriminated again coz of being half and not full. I told my mum and she said that it will be people who speak Polish and stuff etc but they might not be so discriminative and she also said don't worry.

I know Polish, as i am learning it from my mum and duolingo haha-- but not fully fluent.

Should i do it or nah??????

Any suggestions further????

Much appreciated and thanks for reading my message :smile:

<33

also apologies if any of the language or descriptions i used was offensive to anyone

Reply 1

missgingeryer

I think you should definitely do it, you’ll never know until you try, but it’s highly unlikely that a society would be discriminatory towards you. However, in the off chance that happens, at least you know who to avoid, and won’t be feeling like you missed anything. Go for it!

Reply 2

pkso97

hun, dont even let what others say to you get to you, we live in the UK now and most people are of mixed backgrounds, it makes things much more special for you to have two different heritages as oppose to one. I'm fully polish but been here since in 4 , most people mistake me for being English until they see my name and I have found that there's only a small number of polish friends I have made in my life because of how patriotic they can come across and cannot see past our own culture/country, make friends on basis of what your morals and who makes you feel happy and gives you the same energy you give them. When you go to uni its a whole other world out there, you will meet people from everywhere and try not to just stick with polish people as friends, expand your friendships with people from all nationalities and that will bring you the best experience in life, learn their culture just as they would be interested in both of yours, this will make you experience all the food, the dancing/songs, youll honestly have the best laugh. Join the polish group, but pick/chose your friends wisely, do not try and conform to their standards/expectations if it doesnt make you happy xx