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I can't find my vaginal opening - help please!!

I'm 17 and a virgin and have never worn tampons before. I've tried several times masturbating but each time I cannot find my vaginal hole. All I can feel is skin and my fingers aren't going in anywhere.
I read that it may be because your hymen hasn't broken yet. So what can I do to break it, because nothing is working for me?
Please can someone help. I feel like an idiot for not knowing how to masturbate and I have no idea who to speak to so please can someone reply helpfully?
Reply 1
Hey,
Don’t stress. Don’t panic.
This is all normal, we all go through these things.
Tampons- try squatting low and open your legs a bit and relax and then try.

Your hymen might have not broken yet but it also might have already. I’d suggest looking on sexual health websites- even durex is really good and has loads of articles on all sexual health questions. Hope this helps :smile:
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 17 and a virgin and have never worn tampons before. I've tried several times masturbating but each time I cannot find my vaginal hole. All I can feel is skin and my fingers aren't going in anywhere.
I read that it may be because your hymen hasn't broken yet. So what can I do to break it, because nothing is working for me?
Please can someone help. I feel like an idiot for not knowing how to masturbate and I have no idea who to speak to so please can someone reply helpfully?

Firstly, you’re not an idiot for not knowing how to masturbate, please don’t feel bad about yourself for that. Before I answer ur actual question it’s probably also good to note that vaginal stuff isn’t the only way you can do it - clitoral masturbation is not only easier in this sense but also normally feels better for a lot of people! :smile:

Okay now onto what ur talking about. I’m 18 and also a virgin, and I know the sort of feeling ur describing about not being able to find the opening. There’s a bunch of different reasons as to why you could be feeling it, plus probs others idk about:

- You could be nervous/scared to interact with ur body like that (as was I) and haven’t quite “pushed through” enough. Not really sure how to describe this any further haha but if you’ve never had to open the entrance before for anything (sex/tampons/etc), then there might be a bit of natural resistance that you need to be relaxed enough to get through.
But, if you don’t think this is it, then:
- You could be right in suspecting your hymen. There are a lot of myths surrounding the hymen, like what you’ve kind of mentioned here - about it tearing or bursting somehow. Most women’s hymens naturally tear at some point across our lives without us ever noticing it - through sport, movement, or just kind of anything, really. It’s not supposed to be a painful, or inherently sexual, experience - just something that happens without our knowledge. However, some women experience what’s I think called a septate hymen - which is where it splits/tears in more than one place, causing two (or more) smaller holes instead of one big one. This would explain the “touching skin” sensation you’re describing. I know someone who had this and discovered it in her early teens when trying to use a tampon - she had it fixed into a typical singular hole after some gyno visits that resulted in a very simple surgery to split the hymen. I know this might sound scary or worrying but I promise it wasn’t! She was totally okay, it’s a routine and very simple surgery that’s much more common than you might expect. In case this is your issue, I’d really recommend telling someone you trust and are comfortable with that you think this may be a problem you have (you can use the tampon excuse to avoid talking about masturbating lol) and try and get an appointment with your (preferably female) doctor, who would likely refer you to a gyno.

I hope this was helpful! :smile: Wish you luck in finding the cause of your problem, I promise it’s nowhere near as abnormal or embarrassing as you think. (If in doubt, speak to a female doctor!)

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