The Student Room Group

Raf relationship advice.

My boyfriend of just over a year is going in the RAF at the beginning of September.. really soon. I’m getting really anxious about the whole thing, we haven’t sat down and properly talked about how things are going to work once he’s in. I know that there will be long periods of time where he doesn’t get to come home and also where we won’t be able to see each other, but I’m just terrified that it’ll make us drift. I’ve seen many mixed reviews about being in a relationship with someone in the RAF, most of which say that it’s impossible.. but on the other hand I have seen it work. I’d just like some advice from someone who has a military partner who can shed some light on my worries please.
Thanks.
Reply 1
Well I'm from the other side of the pond. I was married being in the service I went in at 18 came out 21 years later still married to the same woman. No it wasn't easy but it can be done. All depends on what you guys feel good
Reply 2
Why haven't you talked to him about it? At this point your relationship is likely to suffer through lack of communication and lack of interest in his career. He can give more info to you because he can say where he is training, how long for, where he could be based in the future.

Communication will be difficult or restricted during the first phase of training, but more relaxed with free weekends for the next stage. After that, it depends on his job, but he will get extra duties even in the UK, such as security and parades, as well as other courses to improve his skills and progress his career. There will also be the opportunity for him to be involved with sports, adventure training and social events, some of which you could attend. You can also see about visiting him when he's more settled.

Bit different for me personally as my boyfriend and I are both ex-RAF, met whilst serving. We were in separate roles which took us to very different locations and had a year apart across 1000s of miles and various time zones where the comms weren't always great. As you say, mixed reviews. I've seen couples across all ages and some manage it, sone don't. Plenty of partners become the stable point, living off-base and having their own career to keep them occupied.

It takes commitment and patient, and acceptance when he's tired, busy, unable to discuss what he's been doing. Sit him down ASAP and start talking!
(edited 9 months ago)
Original post by Lu Rachel
My boyfriend of just over a year is going in the RAF at the beginning of September.. really soon. I’m getting really anxious about the whole thing, we haven’t sat down and properly talked about how things are going to work once he’s in. I know that there will be long periods of time where he doesn’t get to come home and also where we won’t be able to see each other, but I’m just terrified that it’ll make us drift. I’ve seen many mixed reviews about being in a relationship with someone in the RAF, most of which say that it’s impossible.. but on the other hand I have seen it work. I’d just like some advice from someone who has a military partner who can shed some light on my worries please.
Thanks.


my boyfriend just went into basic training how did you guys get on?

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