Muslims please

Salaam, I am 23 years old I have made my intentions clear to my mother and the girl (21) who I love that I want to marry her she has the same intentions as me. I’ve recently graduated and I am on the search for a postgraduate job I’ve successfully had interviews but was unlucky to not go pass through the recruitment stage yet but I will In Sha Allah, I’ve been told that for me to have my wedding with the girl I’d like to marry I would have to work to fund for it and I am working non stop raising money towards my savings and for our marriage. The issue is my mother is so insistent on getting the phone number of her parents in particular the father although he is strict, quite hard to approach too that was what I got told by the girl anyway what do I do. If the both of us want to marry each other how do we go about this the girl tried speaking to her mother her mother was reluctant to listen on two occasions and it’s frustrating my mother of her having to wait for the chance to talk to her parents.

You post on a generalised forum so why do you address your comments to 'muslims' as if they are the only replies you are willing to listen to? This is discrimination by any other title? If someone were to post and put 'Christians please' there would be I am sure outrage from many?

If you open your eyes and ears to a wider audience you may get a much richer response to your post and ultimately to your life in general? Otherwise why bother making such a post?

You post on a generalised forum so why do you address your comments to 'muslims' as if they are the only replies you are willing to listen to? This is discrimination by any other title? If someone were to post and put 'Christians please' there would be I am sure outrage from many?

If you open your eyes and ears to a wider audience you may get a much richer response to your post and ultimately to your life in general? Otherwise why bother making such a post?

Salaam, I am 23 years old I have made my intentions clear to my mother and the girl (21) who I love that I want to marry her she has the same intentions as me. I’ve recently graduated and I am on the search for a postgraduate job I’ve successfully had interviews but was unlucky to not go pass through the recruitment stage yet but I will In Sha Allah, I’ve been told that for me to have my wedding with the girl I’d like to marry I would have to work to fund for it and I am working non stop raising money towards my savings and for our marriage. The issue is my mother is so insistent on getting the phone number of her parents in particular the father although he is strict, quite hard to approach too that was what I got told by the girl anyway what do I do. If the both of us want to marry each other how do we go about this the girl tried speaking to her mother her mother was reluctant to listen on two occasions and it’s frustrating my mother of her having to wait for the chance to talk to her parents.

You post on a generalised forum so why do you address your comments to 'muslims' as if they are the only replies you are willing to listen to? This is discrimination by any other title? If someone were to post and put 'Christians please' there would be I am sure outrage from many?

If you open your eyes and ears to a wider audience you may get a much richer response to your post and ultimately to your life in general? Otherwise why bother making such a post?

Salaam, I am 23 years old I have made my intentions clear to my mother and the girl (21) who I love that I want to marry her she has the same intentions as me. I’ve recently graduated and I am on the search for a postgraduate job I’ve successfully had interviews but was unlucky to not go pass through the recruitment stage yet but I will In Sha Allah, I’ve been told that for me to have my wedding with the girl I’d like to marry I would have to work to fund for it and I am working non stop raising money towards my savings and for our marriage. The issue is my mother is so insistent on getting the phone number of her parents in particular the father although he is strict, quite hard to approach too that was what I got told by the girl anyway what do I do. If the both of us want to marry each other how do we go about this the girl tried speaking to her mother her mother was reluctant to listen on two occasions and it’s frustrating my mother of her having to wait for the chance to talk to her parents.

Has your partner told her parents?

She’s tried telling her mum her mum has refused to listen on this topic

Does that mean that even though you both want to get married, that basically it’s impossible for you to marry her until her parents give permission?

Do her parents know about you dating her? Have they met you yet?

I’m not dating her but this more or less is love marriage it’s her parents to whom I’m waiting permission for to marry her

I thought you were dating her as you said you love her. Is she also keen to get married? If yes, why doesn't she tell her parents about this topic? Is there a reason why they are saying no?

We do have feelings for one and other since we met at work and the understanding between the both of us is there she’s keen on getting married well she’s in her second year of university her mother wants her to complete university before getting married although I offered a flexible choice in which we have our wedding and she stays with her parents until she’s ready to move in

Okay I understand your point. Since it seems like you need her parents permission, why don't you wait until she has finished university then? What's the rush? How does she feel about what her mum said - is she desperate to get married right now or does she not mind to wait until she has finished university?

Well when we first spoke to each other she said she’d need 2-3 years that too time to tell and approach her parents even though she’s attending her second year of university as of this September the very least I could know is the response to what her parents would say or a form of assurance from either parent there’s no rush though both of us feel and wish we were married she said herself she’s desperate to get married though she appreciates the fact that I’m waiting for her

So what's the problem you have then? As you are working to fund the wedding which will take place in 2-3 years which her parents and her herself would be happy with.

Yes I’m self funding the wedding myself saving all my money that I earn and I have a figure in mind to save towards and estimate how much this wedding will cost we want a small Nikkah no more than 50 people at a mosque with a function to celebrate for later