The Student Room Group

Boyf hand placement on a girls hips? Normal or not

My bf friend sent him a picture of taking a picture of him and a girl at a newborn party.
My bf went to his friend newborn and there was a small gathering. He then told me come meet me at the gathering then we will go home together but I said no I’ll just go wait for you at your house. He came very drunk. ( he barely drinks ).

2 week later I see him delete the picture of him and the girl on his phone. After I asked to see he said it’s not relevant then showed me. He had his hand on her hip.
Is this sexual? He said he deleted it because he didn’t want me to think things as I’m kinda a sensitive person.

I felt a huge type of way. ( he says he knows the girl through a mutual friend )

Am I right to feel a type of way and think it was too much.
He said he wouldn’t have even taken the picture if he wasn’t drunk because he probably would have been shy. He’s very reserved when he’s around people.


I mean I did not like the hand placement at all.
Is this normal to touch a girl there during a photo. I don’t even know why the took the photo. It was on his friends phone not his. And the girl is his friends cousin. He came home to me that day while I waited in his house for 2 hours because his friend was driving so he had to wait for his friend.
Original post by Anonymous
My bf friend sent him a picture of taking a picture of him and a girl at a newborn party.
My bf went to his friend newborn and there was a small gathering. He then told me come meet me at the gathering then we will go home together but I said no I’ll just go wait for you at your house. He came very drunk. ( he barely drinks ).

2 week later I see him delete the picture of him and the girl on his phone. After I asked to see he said it’s not relevant then showed me. He had his hand on her hip.
Is this sexual? He said he deleted it because he didn’t want me to think things as I’m kinda a sensitive person.

I felt a huge type of way. ( he says he knows the girl through a mutual friend )

Am I right to feel a type of way and think it was too much.
He said he wouldn’t have even taken the picture if he wasn’t drunk because he probably would have been shy. He’s very reserved when he’s around people.


I mean I did not like the hand placement at all.
Is this normal to touch a girl there during a photo. I don’t even know why the took the photo. It was on his friends phone not his. And the girl is his friends cousin. He came home to me that day while I waited in his house for 2 hours because his friend was driving so he had to wait for his friend.

I mean he’s drunk so he’ll be high but there’s every chance there might have been something flirtatious or something that must have went on before he even touched her and considering that why is he even near a girl anyways how is that being committed and respectful or showing any loyalty to you where’s the boundaries exactly?
Reply 2
Original post by Mohammed_80
I mean he’s drunk so he’ll be high but there’s every chance there might have been something flirtatious or something that must have went on before he even touched her and considering that why is he even near a girl anyways how is that being committed and respectful or showing any loyalty to you where’s the boundaries exactly?


My point exactly however I do know the party was known people only as it was a intimate baby shower type
Original post by Anonymous
My point exactly however I do know the party was known people only as it was a intimate baby shower type

That makes it worse to be honest don’t you think that’s a little suspicious
Reply 4
Without knowing anything about your relationship or the party it is harder to judge, but I don't immediately see anything too wrong with it.
Someone being unfaithful is unlikely to get a friend to take a photo of them together, it's more likely that they got on at the gathering and someone took a photo to remember the event.
Your bf invited you to the gathering, so they clearly wanted you to be there which is a sign that they don't have any ideas about cheating.
Ask yourself where you would prefer the hand to be. The hand on the hip is honestly the most normal hand position in my opinion. Around the neck feels too physically close and can be awkward. Around the waist could be awkwardly close to her boobs. The hip is a bone, so it's not sensitive or romantic feeling if you hold it, it's probably the least sexual way to hold someone.
If you know that your bf is usually shy, then he was probably just enjoying himself. He's bound to drink more if he's with friends and everyone is having a good time. In a social setting like that it's almost inevitable that you'll end up talking to new people, then someone might be taking photos that they send to people afterwards. He even deleted the photo, and he probably wouldn't do that if he had feelings about that person
Added bonus. It's a friend's cousin at a friend's party. There are many people who wouldn't want them to get together

You may not like the photo, but he deleted it. It's not weird for friends to take photos. Guys can have girl friends. Don't try and suppress that. Obviously there is a limit, but a photo is nothing

TLDR: He probably got drunk, met someone, a friend took a photo, he held the least romantic place, then got sent the photo, then deleted it.
Reply 5
Guys aren't allowed to be friends with girls now?
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
My bf friend sent him a picture of taking a picture of him and a girl at a newborn party.
My bf went to his friend newborn and there was a small gathering. He then told me come meet me at the gathering then we will go home together but I said no I’ll just go wait for you at your house. He came very drunk. ( he barely drinks ).

2 week later I see him delete the picture of him and the girl on his phone. After I asked to see he said it’s not relevant then showed me. He had his hand on her hip.
Is this sexual? He said he deleted it because he didn’t want me to think things as I’m kinda a sensitive person.

I felt a huge type of way. ( he says he knows the girl through a mutual friend )

Am I right to feel a type of way and think it was too much.
He said he wouldn’t have even taken the picture if he wasn’t drunk because he probably would have been shy. He’s very reserved when he’s around people.


I mean I did not like the hand placement at all.
Is this normal to touch a girl there during a photo. I don’t even know why the took the photo. It was on his friends phone not his. And the girl is his friends cousin. He came home to me that day while I waited in his house for 2 hours because his friend was driving so he had to wait for his friend.


Hey, it’s completely natural for you to have feelings about this situation. People have different boundaries and comfort levels in relationships. What’s important is to have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings regarding the hand placement in the photo and the entire situation. Communication is key in situations like this.

It’s crucial to understand your boyfriend’s intentions. He mentioned he was drunk and might not have taken the photo if he weren’t. Deleting it to avoid misunderstandings suggests that he probably didn’t have any inappropriate intentions.

Discuss what boundaries both of you are comfortable with when it comes to physical contact and interactions with others. This can help establish clear expectations.

Trust is a fundamental aspect of any relationship. If you trust your boyfriend and believe his explanation, it can go a long way in alleviating your concerns. If trust has been an issue in the past, it’s worth addressing that as well.

Consider the context of your boyfriend’s relationship with his friend and the friend’s cousin. If they are close friends and the interaction seemed harmless, it might help you better understand the situation.

Ultimately, how you both handle this together will determine how it affects your relationship. Having an open and understanding conversation can resolve misunderstandings and build trust.
Original post by OJlongley
Guys aren't allowed to be friends with girls now?

Ever heard of boundaries in a relationship
Reply 8
Original post by Mohammed_80
Ever heard of boundaries in a relationship

Yes, I have. I have also heard of life outside a relationship.
If you have a relationship and stop your partner from having opposite-sex friendships then you don't deserve a relationship. There is nothing more toxic than preventing someone from having friends.
This just sounds like some insecure "Top-G" **** where you don't respect or trust people even when you're in a relationship.
I can't imagine being so insecure that I wouldn't trust my gf to talk to a guy at a party. Her previous bf prevented her from socialising much and was very possessive, and that's why they broke up
Talking to the opposite sex is a key part of developing as a person because they have different life experiences and perspectives. You're also going to work with the opposite sex in work, so there's no way to avoid interacting with them.
I obviously would be less happy if she took photos sitting on someone's lap or with wandering hands, and I wouldn't want her to stay the night alone at a male friends house.
Original post by OJlongley
Yes, I have. I have also heard of life outside a relationship.
If you have a relationship and stop your partner from having opposite-sex friendships then you don't deserve a relationship. There is nothing more toxic than preventing someone from having friends.
This just sounds like some insecure "Top-G" **** where you don't respect or trust people even when you're in a relationship.
I can't imagine being so insecure that I wouldn't trust my gf to talk to a guy at a party. Her previous bf prevented her from socialising much and was very possessive, and that's why they broke up
Talking to the opposite sex is a key part of developing as a person because they have different life experiences and perspectives. You're also going to work with the opposite sex in work, so there's no way to avoid interacting with them.
I obviously would be less happy if she took photos sitting on someone's lap or with wandering hands, and I wouldn't want her to stay the night alone at a male friends house.

Hold on not allowing the opposite sex friends doesn’t justify whether you’re worthy of a relationship or not it’s boundaries if both partners agree to it then it outlines commitment, respect and loyalty. Probably 3 of several traits that you don’t know that are need for a relationship. If it’s someone genuine insecurity rather than making the matter worse help them overcome it, by abiding by it if you are happy to there’s nothing wrong with that. Yeah talking to the opposite sex whilst getting drunk is the build up to flirtatious conversation and the would be to anything sexual. :rolleyes: Defines a cheat. I’d understand if it’s a work colleague but even if it’s a random stranger or someone you know…then yes anyways
(edited 8 months ago)
Reply 10
It intimate enough touch to be inappropriate, and he knew you wouldn’t be happy. But in the context of drunkenness, for a photo, with no under lying intent I would not rate it as cheating. Not in the same league as a drunken snog for example
(edited 8 months ago)

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