I regret coming to university-Vent
Okay this is a vent and it's really long so sorry. Also sorry for spelling mistakes I have dyslexia.
I've just moved into my university room and I really regret it. I know most people are feeling homesick but it's not that. I really can't see myself here at all doing anything. I can't see myself enjoying the classes and I can't see myself talking to people and I can't see myself doing anything really. When moving my things into the kitchen there were other people and I felt so scared. Not of them directly as people but something to do with the fact that they're stranger that I'll have to be around for months. Another thing is that I have to take care of both myself and my things all of a sudden.
Back home my parents helped so I never learnt how to do it all on my own. I'm scared of the fact that I can't find the classrooms because of their confusing names and I'm having the layout of the online timetable as it's just repatinh the sane classes and I don't know if that's because u have those same classes everything or if they haven't loaded for the future because they all day things like introduction. But I'm scared of coming back home becuse I know ilk feel like a burden burden my parents and I'll feel like this was all such a wast of time and effort and most of all a giant wast of money. My parents keep saying that they won't be but i can't shake the feeling that they will be. My older brother is at the same uni and he got through it all fine but he was with friends and I have no one. I know if I leave ill be less stressed but I'll feel like a failure ad the problem child (I'm the middle sibling so if my younger brother goes to uni it'll be worse) but I'll fele like I'm missing out on experiences. But I really don't se myself enjoying most of it.
Really the most appealing part was the drive here. I just don't know what to do and I don't know who to tell and this may be a whole mental break down but I keep feeling like I'm being overdrmativ and I know when j read this back in a week or tommorow or even in the next hour I'll think I'm being over dramatic and over exaggerating. I did talk to my parents about it but i still felt like they were angry with me. It could be because I'm autistic and I have anxiety and dyslexia but I just think that's making it worse. I just don't know what to do and I'm sorry for taking up your time.
I've just moved into my university room and I really regret it. I know most people are feeling homesick but it's not that. I really can't see myself here at all doing anything. I can't see myself enjoying the classes and I can't see myself talking to people and I can't see myself doing anything really. When moving my things into the kitchen there were other people and I felt so scared. Not of them directly as people but something to do with the fact that they're stranger that I'll have to be around for months. Another thing is that I have to take care of both myself and my things all of a sudden.
Back home my parents helped so I never learnt how to do it all on my own. I'm scared of the fact that I can't find the classrooms because of their confusing names and I'm having the layout of the online timetable as it's just repatinh the sane classes and I don't know if that's because u have those same classes everything or if they haven't loaded for the future because they all day things like introduction. But I'm scared of coming back home becuse I know ilk feel like a burden burden my parents and I'll feel like this was all such a wast of time and effort and most of all a giant wast of money. My parents keep saying that they won't be but i can't shake the feeling that they will be. My older brother is at the same uni and he got through it all fine but he was with friends and I have no one. I know if I leave ill be less stressed but I'll feel like a failure ad the problem child (I'm the middle sibling so if my younger brother goes to uni it'll be worse) but I'll fele like I'm missing out on experiences. But I really don't se myself enjoying most of it.
Really the most appealing part was the drive here. I just don't know what to do and I don't know who to tell and this may be a whole mental break down but I keep feeling like I'm being overdrmativ and I know when j read this back in a week or tommorow or even in the next hour I'll think I'm being over dramatic and over exaggerating. I did talk to my parents about it but i still felt like they were angry with me. It could be because I'm autistic and I have anxiety and dyslexia but I just think that's making it worse. I just don't know what to do and I'm sorry for taking up your time.
(edited 7 months ago)
it takes time that’s all you’ll get to know these people eventually you mights well give it chance I mean your here now aren’t you everybody has to learn how to kind of take care of them selves you’ll be fine maybe see if the guy in the kitchen fancy going to the union or something tonight tomorrow will probably be a big night with everyone having moved in it’ll get easier as i say gibe it time you’ll find your way around it just takes time.
Original post by Guitar_Nerd
Okay this is a vent and it's really long so sorry. Also sorry for spelling mistakes I have dyslexia.
I've just moved into my university room and I really regret it. I know most people are feeling homesick but it's not that. I really can't see myself here at all doing anything. I can't see myself enjoying the classes and I can't see myself talking to people and I can't see myself doing anything really. When moving my things into the kitchen there were other people and I felt so scared. Not of them directly as people but something to do with the fact that they're stranger that I'll have to be around for months. Another thing is that I have to take care of both myself and my things all of a sudden.
Back home my parents helped so I never learnt how to do it all on my own. I'm scared of the fact that I can't find the classrooms because of their confusing names and I'm having the layout of the online timetable as it's just repatinh the sane classes and I don't know if that's because u have those same classes everything or if they haven't loaded for the future because they all day things like introduction. But I'm scared of coming back home becuse I know ilk feel like a burden burden my parents and I'll feel like this was all such a wast of time and effort and most of all a giant wast of money. My parents keep saying that they won't be but i can't shake the feeling that they will be. My older brother is at the same uni and he got through it all fine but he was with friends and I have no one. I know if I leave ill be less stressed but I'll feel like a failure ad the problem child (I'm the middle sibling so if my younger brother goes to uni it'll be worse) but I'll fele like I'm missing out on experiences. But I really don't se myself enjoying most of it.
Really the most appealing part was the drive here. I just don't know what to do and I don't know who to tell and this may be a whole mental break down but I keep feeling like I'm being overdrmativ and I know when j read this back in a week or tommorow or even in the next hour I'll think I'm being over dramatic and over exaggerating. I did talk to my parents about it but i still felt like they were angry with me. It could be because I'm autistic and I have anxiety and dyslexia but I just think that's making it worse. I just don't know what to do and I'm sorry for taking up your time.
I've just moved into my university room and I really regret it. I know most people are feeling homesick but it's not that. I really can't see myself here at all doing anything. I can't see myself enjoying the classes and I can't see myself talking to people and I can't see myself doing anything really. When moving my things into the kitchen there were other people and I felt so scared. Not of them directly as people but something to do with the fact that they're stranger that I'll have to be around for months. Another thing is that I have to take care of both myself and my things all of a sudden.
Back home my parents helped so I never learnt how to do it all on my own. I'm scared of the fact that I can't find the classrooms because of their confusing names and I'm having the layout of the online timetable as it's just repatinh the sane classes and I don't know if that's because u have those same classes everything or if they haven't loaded for the future because they all day things like introduction. But I'm scared of coming back home becuse I know ilk feel like a burden burden my parents and I'll feel like this was all such a wast of time and effort and most of all a giant wast of money. My parents keep saying that they won't be but i can't shake the feeling that they will be. My older brother is at the same uni and he got through it all fine but he was with friends and I have no one. I know if I leave ill be less stressed but I'll feel like a failure ad the problem child (I'm the middle sibling so if my younger brother goes to uni it'll be worse) but I'll fele like I'm missing out on experiences. But I really don't se myself enjoying most of it.
Really the most appealing part was the drive here. I just don't know what to do and I don't know who to tell and this may be a whole mental break down but I keep feeling like I'm being overdrmativ and I know when j read this back in a week or tommorow or even in the next hour I'll think I'm being over dramatic and over exaggerating. I did talk to my parents about it but i still felt like they were angry with me. It could be because I'm autistic and I have anxiety and dyslexia but I just think that's making it worse. I just don't know what to do and I'm sorry for taking up your time.
I feel the same way
I kind of feel the same way too :/ I’m absolutely scared of people and the fact that we have to learn to be independent
Welcome to adulthood.
I know this time can be overwhelming and stressful, moving into a new place where you don't know people and don't know the place, especially when it's going to be your first time living independently. I'm starting University this year too, I don't know anyone at my University so I understand what you're going through. Try not to worry though, in a few weeks you will start to make friends with people on campus as well as the people you live with! Just try keep an inviting and friendly face, even if you're afraid to approach anyone, make yourself approachable to others. Many people are probably in the same shoes that you are, you will find some friends, knowing your classes and where they are will come a habit in no time and you'll know the campus well enough with time! As for living on your own for the first time, it's something everyone has experienced and you'll learn what you need to do in no time. Just make sure to wash your clothing, as well as dirty dishes and you'll be fine! I'm sure there will be other students there who can show you if you need some help. I'm not sure about other Universities, but there is student support services and I'm sure any members of staff will help you find your classes.
Try keep your chin up and be approachable, you'll get used to the University life in no time.
I hope this advice helped at least a little, and best of the luck starting at University!
Try keep your chin up and be approachable, you'll get used to the University life in no time.
I hope this advice helped at least a little, and best of the luck starting at University!
It doesn’t sound like anything you’re scared about is specific to the uni or course, it’s just general major life shifts. You just have to push through it, it’s part of growing up: learning to look after yourself and your things, living independently and so on. You can’t live with mum and dad forever and have them do everything for you, you need to wean yourself off of that and uni is an excellent time to exercise semi independence. Living with strangers is also something you just have to get used to and some of them may also become your greatest friends. And it’s not uncommon for people to live in house shares for a few years after they graduate, so this also prepares you for that. Just calm down and breathe, this is all part of the uni experience and it’ll get easier. Don’t let yourself spiral because of how much of a shock it feels on the first day, you’ll get used to it.
Hi,
I can relate to a lot of your struggles. I realise this is the last piece of advice you'll want but it really does get easier. I can empathise especially to struggling with shared living, in my case I moved myself from shared living into a studio flat in the same accommodation building, which might be worth looking into if you really feel you can't cope with sharing the kitchen and living space. With that said, I think that it might be worth trying to stick it through in shared living and getting to know your flatmates, as daunting as that is. It won't seem like it, but most of them are in the same position you are, some people are just better than others at hiding their anxiety.
From what I understand, part of your "I can't see myself enjoying this" response is likely your brain's misguided attempt to protect you, as avoidance is the easiest way for anxiety to relieve itself. It might be that the urge to drop out and move back home is your brain's way of trying to keep you safe, and proving to your brain that you're not in danger is up to you. It might not be easy, but it's definitely doable.
A piece of advice I can give you is that it's much easier to socialise and get comfortable in a setting that you're used to. I can see by your username you're into guitars, so maybe you could try and find a guitarist/music society at your university that you can meet people at? By meeting people in a context that's familiar to you, it might help you feel more at ease and in turn more able to tackle your other worries.
Most of all I want to stress how normal what you're experiencing is. It takes a very rare kind of person to move away from home and into halls and not be stressed by it, you're not alone! Asking for advice here is the first step, and I hope you're able to take the advice people are offering you into account. Ultimately, whatever you decide to do is your decision, but I'd urge you to really brave it and give it a go at least once before you make the decision to go home or not. Not knowing if it could have worked out will be much worse in the long run than trying and knowing for sure if it will or won't. Hope that makes sense.
Good luck,
Courtney H
I can relate to a lot of your struggles. I realise this is the last piece of advice you'll want but it really does get easier. I can empathise especially to struggling with shared living, in my case I moved myself from shared living into a studio flat in the same accommodation building, which might be worth looking into if you really feel you can't cope with sharing the kitchen and living space. With that said, I think that it might be worth trying to stick it through in shared living and getting to know your flatmates, as daunting as that is. It won't seem like it, but most of them are in the same position you are, some people are just better than others at hiding their anxiety.
From what I understand, part of your "I can't see myself enjoying this" response is likely your brain's misguided attempt to protect you, as avoidance is the easiest way for anxiety to relieve itself. It might be that the urge to drop out and move back home is your brain's way of trying to keep you safe, and proving to your brain that you're not in danger is up to you. It might not be easy, but it's definitely doable.
A piece of advice I can give you is that it's much easier to socialise and get comfortable in a setting that you're used to. I can see by your username you're into guitars, so maybe you could try and find a guitarist/music society at your university that you can meet people at? By meeting people in a context that's familiar to you, it might help you feel more at ease and in turn more able to tackle your other worries.
Most of all I want to stress how normal what you're experiencing is. It takes a very rare kind of person to move away from home and into halls and not be stressed by it, you're not alone! Asking for advice here is the first step, and I hope you're able to take the advice people are offering you into account. Ultimately, whatever you decide to do is your decision, but I'd urge you to really brave it and give it a go at least once before you make the decision to go home or not. Not knowing if it could have worked out will be much worse in the long run than trying and knowing for sure if it will or won't. Hope that makes sense.
Good luck,
Courtney H
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Hugely regret not trying hard at GCSEs.
- Rot girl summer
- Sheffield Hallam University Accomodation
- TheDailyVent
- The Nightmare of Non-Standard Applications & Reducing People to Arbitrary Numbers
- Desperately need career + life advice
- Impostor syndrome (venting/support needed)
- What should I do about my directionless gap year?
- I told my mum I am not her therapist
- University regrets
- failing a levels
- Am I being selfish?
- My uncle is a criminal and I don’t know how to accept it
- University of Dundee (please drop in your experience)
- Pervert Brother
- Has anyone studied a Foundation Year at University? Computer Science at Exeter.
- Have you ever made a difficult decision about your future?
- I guess this is a vent?
- turning 19 soon ,,,
- Should I break up with my boyfriend
Latest
Trending
Last reply 3 weeks ago
Got a third in my second year and the highest I’ve achieved in third year was 55%Trending
Last reply 3 weeks ago
Got a third in my second year and the highest I’ve achieved in third year was 55%
