Regretting my choices

Hey

Sorry to hear you're feeling like that.

For reference, I am speaking as someone who started one course at one university and then left after about 6 weeks. This was due to not enjoying the course and then when I tried to move course unfortunately the university made everything very difficult (saying yes then no) and stringing me along for weeks on end. That's to say I know the feeling when things aren't working out how you expected and it feels like no one else really understands.

For me, there's a couple of things to think about here. As some people said when I was struggling, it is only 3 years. It sounds crazy because that's still 3 years which is a fair amount of time. But if you're starting second year then you're already half way through. Especially if you have made friends and don't mind where you're living and the life you've got there it might be worth hanging on in there and seeing it through. Saying that, I also know that if something doesn't feel right, even after you've giving it a decent amount of thinking time, then I think you should trust your gut. Just make sure you organise yourself if you do leave and make a plan so you have something to work on and look forward too even when it sucks for a bit.

The other thing I want to address is the Russel Group university point. Personally, I find it frustrating that it is such a big deal whether a uni is RG or not. It is all based on a very old system regarding whether a uni produced a certain amount of award winning research. For reference, there are universities now such as University of Lancaster which is ranked really highly in a bunch of the uni awards and is producing some real cutting edge research, plus it has higher student satisfaction rates than Oxford and many other prestigious unis yet it isnt RG. To me, I think we should be valuing the important things such as how happy we are as opposed to a system which is around a century old but anyway...

That's not to say I'm aware than unfortunately where you get your degree does still hold some weighting in the world. However, I would prefer to have fun and work hard somewhere not RG than try really hard just to try and fit in at another uni because it's supposedly better.

Apologies if that's a bit opinionated and blunt but I think it's worth thinking about. I do know quite a few people with good degrees from non-russel group unis and I don't think any less of them.

Do what you think feels right, we're adults now and unfortunately, no one is going to make the decision for us.

But sometimes that's a little bit exciting too

Hope this helps

Hi!

Thank you so much for your response You're honestly so right. I think I was just having a bit of a silly crisis because I've been off uni for so long and everyone else is back haha. Honestly, I don't care too much about the RG title but I really do thrive off of academic validation so I guess I just got into my own head. I do really love my uni and all of the memories I've made so far, so I should definitely come to my senses soon enough.
This message was honestly such a wake up call for me and I really appreciate that. You've really helped me properly put things into perspective! I really do need to stop worrying about titles and what people think (especially since they don't care), I know I'm a strong student and that's all that matters.

Thank you so, so much!

Aw no worries. That's so nice to hear. Sometimes it helps to share stuff. This time last year was a completely different story for me and it just shows you how much can change in a year. Give yourself time and space. You're stronger than you think and if you want something go for it.

And I completely understand the pressure about worrying what people think. For me, it kinda comes in waves (better at some times and worse at others). The key thing for me is to remember that the most important people in your life will love you no matter what. Sometimes that means some people you thought were your friends aren't really there and other times it allows friendships to grow. Do more of what you love (for me that's dancing, listening to music and being with my friends) and that always helps with confidence and self esteem.

Best wishes for the future and feel free to ask any other questions it's nice to know I could help in some way

Thank you so much! Yeah I know I’ve got some really amazing people around me who have supported every decision I’ve made and I’ll definitely indulge in a little bit of self-care (got freshers week coming up ). I know this will all be minor to me in the next few months!

You’ve been such great help

I did my A-Levels last year and got BCD in Psychology, Chemistry and Biology respectively (possibly the worst day of my life💀). I was so distraught and disappointed because I had received offers for biomed at RG universities and had my heart set on one for the longest time. Still ended up at one of the unis I applied for, but it wasn’t RG. It’s not that I don’t love the uni and all the friendships and stuff that I’ve made but recently I really haven’t been able to shake the feeling that I’ve made a huge mistake. It’s especially so weird to me because for the past year I haven’t once thought about my A-Levels and my decision. I’m going into my second year now and I’m not really sure what to do? I feel like I might only be feeling this way because of FOMO and maybe because I keep thinking about what could’ve been. I know RG is really just a label and what not, and that what’s done is done but I thought I’d just share my feelings on here because I haven’t really been able to express them to anyone. Anyone else feeling this way or is this just a really niche experience??