Already Overwhelmed
So, I've been in university all of two weeks and I am already feeling overwhelmed.. I can't shake the feeling of not belonging here and I'm trying my best to get ahead and keep on top of things, but I'm already starting to feel defeated and wondering if this is worth all the effort after all. I have immense social anxiety so I have yet to make any friends on my course or in halls, and I don't have anyone I can comfortably rely on right now especially to vocalise my fears and I just feel stuck. I love the course I am on, I feel so fortunate to be here, but two weeks in, one assessment handed out and I'm already crumbling.
Hey there, I'm sorry you're feeling this way 
but it's too early too call it quits! I've just started university too and there have been moments where I have wondered to myself, what the hell am I doing here? But you just have to push through it. It's overwhelming and you can struggle to find "your crowd", but if you put in the effort you'll find them and you'll find your own footing at uni. It takes a little bit of time, that's all. Push through - it'll be alright in the end 
P.S.: clubs are a great way to make friends at uni. Also, one of my friends who went to uni some two years ago often reached out to me for a chat in his first month or two, so maybe you could talk with an old school friend one of these days? And if you think you need help, don't hesitate to reach out to your university's advise and counselling service. Hope this is useful and that you'll be OK.
but it's too early too call it quits! I've just started university too and there have been moments where I have wondered to myself, what the hell am I doing here? But you just have to push through it. It's overwhelming and you can struggle to find "your crowd", but if you put in the effort you'll find them and you'll find your own footing at uni. It takes a little bit of time, that's all. Push through - it'll be alright in the end P.S.: clubs are a great way to make friends at uni. Also, one of my friends who went to uni some two years ago often reached out to me for a chat in his first month or two, so maybe you could talk with an old school friend one of these days? And if you think you need help, don't hesitate to reach out to your university's advise and counselling service. Hope this is useful and that you'll be OK.
Original post by Anonymous
So, I've been in university all of two weeks and I am already feeling overwhelmed.. I can't shake the feeling of not belonging here and I'm trying my best to get ahead and keep on top of things, but I'm already starting to feel defeated and wondering if this is worth all the effort after all. I have immense social anxiety so I have yet to make any friends on my course or in halls, and I don't have anyone I can comfortably rely on right now especially to vocalise my fears and I just feel stuck. I love the course I am on, I feel so fortunate to be here, but two weeks in, one assessment handed out and I'm already crumbling.
Anon,
You might be putting yourself under too much pressure to make friends straight away and so instead of enjoying social events you're worrying about them and making them more stressful! Give yourself space and time. As long as you are meeting new people, then all being well, bit by bit you will find the people that you want to hang out with and who you feel comfortable with. You don't have to find your best friends straight away, you just need to be willing to meet new people and to get to know them better and that takes time.
As @Scotland Yard has said, do reach out to people who know you well, family or friends. They will hopefully be able to share some of their experiences and reassure you, so don't feel like you can't reach out to them. You will feel a lot better for picking up the phone and having a good chat!
Finally, you are loving your course, so it sounds like you are definitely where you should be!
Stay focused on all the good things about university.
All the best,
Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield
Thank you both for the kind words, however I am more leaning on the side of struggling with the academic aspects. I suffer from ASD so even though not being able to socialise does not feel great, I am used to being quite socially isolated so it's not the end of the world for me. What troubles me is that I don't feel good enough academically, even though I am enjoying the course and its content. It just feels like a huge leap from where I was previously and, although there seems to be a good amount of support in place, I can never quite seem to get the right amount of it. I don't need hand holding but I need more support than most (probably) but my ASD stops me from reaching out as much as I should, although I have taken steps to get in contact with the disability services at my university. I think I am just struggling big time with imposter syndrome, feeling like I don't belong here even though I worked hard to get here, and I just need to be able to stomach the fact that I can't be the best at everything (I place that expectation on myself even though I don't believe it at all) and I need to accept that I can't pass everything with flying colours, I just need to get it done.
Sorry for the absolute honker of a paragraph, I'm just trying to process everything as I go instead of bottling up as I normally would then having a calamitous meltdown.
Sorry for the absolute honker of a paragraph, I'm just trying to process everything as I go instead of bottling up as I normally would then having a calamitous meltdown.
Original post by Anonymous
So, I've been in university all of two weeks and I am already feeling overwhelmed.. I can't shake the feeling of not belonging here and I'm trying my best to get ahead and keep on top of things, but I'm already starting to feel defeated and wondering if this is worth all the effort after all. I have immense social anxiety so I have yet to make any friends on my course or in halls, and I don't have anyone I can comfortably rely on right now especially to vocalise my fears and I just feel stuck. I love the course I am on, I feel so fortunate to be here, but two weeks in, one assessment handed out and I'm already crumbling.
Hi there,
I'm so sorry to hear that you're in this situation. I'd say to give yourself a little time to settle in. It can be challenging to settle down - it took me months - but if you're really loving your course then it will be worth it. Reach out to student support if you need any extra advice or support. I'd say to try to join a few societies if you can be a little more social but, most importantly, be kind to yourself! Make sure to not put too much pressure on yourself and do things that make you feel good!
I hope this helps! Please let me know if you have any other questions!
All the best
Jaz - Cardiff student rep
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you both for the kind words, however I am more leaning on the side of struggling with the academic aspects. I suffer from ASD so even though not being able to socialise does not feel great, I am used to being quite socially isolated so it's not the end of the world for me. What troubles me is that I don't feel good enough academically, even though I am enjoying the course and its content. It just feels like a huge leap from where I was previously and, although there seems to be a good amount of support in place, I can never quite seem to get the right amount of it. I don't need hand holding but I need more support than most (probably) but my ASD stops me from reaching out as much as I should, although I have taken steps to get in contact with the disability services at my university. I think I am just struggling big time with imposter syndrome, feeling like I don't belong here even though I worked hard to get here, and I just need to be able to stomach the fact that I can't be the best at everything (I place that expectation on myself even though I don't believe it at all) and I need to accept that I can't pass everything with flying colours, I just need to get it done.
Sorry for the absolute honker of a paragraph, I'm just trying to process everything as I go instead of bottling up as I normally would then having a calamitous meltdown.
Sorry for the absolute honker of a paragraph, I'm just trying to process everything as I go instead of bottling up as I normally would then having a calamitous meltdown.
Anon,
There are most probably lots of people who are feeling the same way as you at university, who feel like 'how did I get here?' and 'what do I do now?'
Try not to panic. You are in a whole new environment so it will take time to adjust. You are at uni to learn new things and to learn a lot of new things, so it's okay to feel overwhelmed with 'how am I going to learn all this stuff?' You have a passion for your course so that will help you when you have assignments that you love and assignments which you dislike. Your passion for the subject will give you the motivation to keep going!
In my first year, I had a module that I found difficult and I use to sit there and despair. I could not see how I could possibly learn this stuff and others seemed to know things from before or to not find it so difficult, so it felt very isolating. I really struggled to find any motivation to study this module and did not look forward to class, but I really needed to changed my attitude from 'I can't do this' to 'What can I do?'.
I could invest more time doing bitesize chunks of the module regularly. I could have a more positive attitude. Understanding that this was my weakest module, rather than avoiding it I could invest more time trying to break down the areas of confusion. All these things helped to turn things around so I ended up doing better in this module than I though possible at the start.
There will be lots of modules which will require your time and so it's important to try and manage your time effectively so that you can keep up with the different modules, but the most important thing in first year is that you have a general understanding, that you hand work in on time and that you pass. All being well, you will pass with great results but remember it's just about getting used to university work. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself!
All the best,
Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you both for the kind words, however I am more leaning on the side of struggling with the academic aspects. I suffer from ASD so even though not being able to socialise does not feel great, I am used to being quite socially isolated so it's not the end of the world for me. What troubles me is that I don't feel good enough academically, even though I am enjoying the course and its content. It just feels like a huge leap from where I was previously and, although there seems to be a good amount of support in place, I can never quite seem to get the right amount of it. I don't need hand holding but I need more support than most (probably) but my ASD stops me from reaching out as much as I should, although I have taken steps to get in contact with the disability services at my university. I think I am just struggling big time with imposter syndrome, feeling like I don't belong here even though I worked hard to get here, and I just need to be able to stomach the fact that I can't be the best at everything (I place that expectation on myself even though I don't believe it at all) and I need to accept that I can't pass everything with flying colours, I just need to get it done.
Sorry for the absolute honker of a paragraph, I'm just trying to process everything as I go instead of bottling up as I normally would then having a calamitous meltdown.
Sorry for the absolute honker of a paragraph, I'm just trying to process everything as I go instead of bottling up as I normally would then having a calamitous meltdown.
Anon,
There are most probably lots of people who are feeling the same way as you at university, who feel like 'how did I get here?' and 'what do I do now?'
Try not to panic. You are in a whole new environment so it will take time to adjust. You are at uni to learn new things and to learn a lot of new things, so it's okay to feel overwhelmed with 'how am I going to learn all this stuff?' You have a passion for your course so that will help you when you have assignments that you love and assignments which you dislike. Your passion for the subject will give you the motivation to keep going!
In my first year, I had a module that I found difficult and I use to sit there and despair. I could not see how I could possibly learn this stuff and others seemed to know things from before or to not find it so difficult, so it felt very isolating. I really struggled to find any motivation to study this module and did not look forward to class, but I really needed to changed my attitude from 'I can't do this' to 'What can I do?'.
I could invest more time doing bitesize chunks of the module regularly. I could have a more positive attitude. Understanding that this was my weakest module, rather than avoiding it I could invest more time trying to break down the areas of confusion. All these things helped to turn things around so I ended up doing better in this module than I though possible at the start.
There will be lots of modules which will require your time and so it's important to try and manage your time effectively so that you can keep up with the different modules, but the most important thing in first year is that you have a general understanding, that you hand work in on time and that you pass. All being well, you will pass with great results but remember it's just about getting used to university work. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself!
All the best,
Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield
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