Breakup Advice

I have known my ex for over a year and have been dating him for 5/6 months. I broke up with him due to religious issues. In my religion, it is not permissible to have ant relationship with anyone of the opposite gender- especiallt romantic. This was the only reason it ended- yet I feel this immense pain. Every single day I cant stop thinking about him- and I know this is normal but I dont know what to do to ease the pain.
What do I do?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Who enforces 'your religion' - are those differences you both felt irreconcilable? Who says so?

Of course you feel immense pain. It is difficult to understand why you cannot have a loving relationship with someone because of a belief upheld and enforced by others?

You have to decide which is more important in your life going forward - your religion or your personal conscience and what you are prepared to sacrifice?

Sadly your pain will not easily go away. Try just keeping 'busy' so that you do not have to think about your loss.

Reply 2

londonmyst

19

Always trust your gut instinct and put your own ambitions first. :smile:

Try to remember that everything happens for a reason and each & every memory a person carries with them is a potential source of valuable life experience.
One day you may be able to give advice to a heartbroken young person who has been forced to end a very close friendship or dating relationship because of religion or incompatible beliefs with the other person about religion.

If you felt that your own religious beliefs were incompatible with being in a relationship with your ex & you still feel this way without any doubts, you will soon start to shift your focus.
Away from memories of a failed past relationship and gradually move on, making a start towards paving the direction of the future life that you want.

If you broke up solely because you are dependent upon very strict religious hardliner relatives or very afraid of being targeted for harsh punishments by religious traditionalists who enforce compliance with opposite biological sex freemixing bans that you do not agree with, you have a very difficult choice to make.
Regardless of whether you keep in contact with your ex, you will need to decide whether you are willing to allow you future to be dictated by others whose lifestyle preferences you do not share.

It is almost certain that people who preach and pressure others not to make friends with those of the opposite biological sex or members of another religion are likely to have plenty of other religion connected 'thou shall nots' that they will impose upon other people just as enthusiastically.
Arranged marriage, employment, fashion choices, food & drink restrictions, university studies.
You need to decide whether you are willing to allow other people to control your life and dictate which of your ambitions you are allowed to try to fulfill.
Good luck!

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Original post by londonmyst

Always trust your gut instinct and put your own ambitions first. :smile:

Try to remember that everything happens for a reason and each & every memory a person carries with them is a potential source of valuable life experience.
One day you may be able to give advice to a heartbroken young person who has been forced to end a very close friendship or dating relationship because of religion or incompatible beliefs with the other person about religion.

If you felt that your own religious beliefs were incompatible with being in a relationship with your ex & you still feel this way without any doubts, you will soon start to shift your focus.
Away from memories of a failed past relationship and gradually move on, making a start towards paving the direction of the future life that you want.

If you broke up solely because you are dependent upon very strict religious hardliner relatives or very afraid of being targeted for harsh punishments by religious traditionalists who enforce compliance with opposite biological sex freemixing bans that you do not agree with, you have a very difficult choice to make.
Regardless of whether you keep in contact with your ex, you will need to decide whether you are willing to allow you future to be dictated by others whose lifestyle preferences you do not share.

It is almost certain that people who preach and pressure others not to make friends with those of the opposite biological sex or members of another religion are likely to have plenty of other religion connected 'thou shall nots' that they will impose upon other people just as enthusiastically.
Arranged marriage, employment, fashion choices, food & drink restrictions, university studies.
You need to decide whether you are willing to allow other people to control your life and dictate which of your ambitions you are allowed to try to fulfill.
Good luck!

+PRSOM

Reply 4

Surnia

20

You got into a relationship knowing it was against your religion, so why is it only a problem several months down the line?

How do you get to know someone with a view to a future together if you don't date?

Reply 5

JDINCINERATOR

21

Original post by Anonymous

I have known my ex for over a year and have been dating him for 5/6 months. I broke up with him due to religious issues. In my religion, it is not permissible to have ant relationship with anyone of the opposite gender- especiallt romantic. This was the only reason it ended- yet I feel this immense pain. Every single day I cant stop thinking about him- and I know this is normal but I dont know what to do to ease the pain.
What do I do?

I don't think any relationship should end based on religious differences. You clearly still love him, so therefore ending a relationship based on a matter of religious doctrine is going to cause a lot of sour feelings. I think he should respect your religious boundaries so the two of you can have a harmonious relationship. As for easing the pain, just put your focus on something else and time will help you to move on. You cannot stick your mind to the past all the time it can be immensely damaging to your growth and wellbeing.