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(muslim/hindu advice)

I am a 23y Hindu female and I am completely in love with a 24y Muslim male my age.
Please be kind as this is a very difficult time for me. I understand that this is Haraam. We are both working on this.
We are Indian, and our families are based in Dubai. We met through a common group of friends and he is genuinely my perfect match. We decided to be in a relationship because I thought it would work. I thought we could marry. This was because he was not religious at all when I met him. So I thought my parents would be more accepting of this and I would not have to convert.
During the relationship, which was in every way perfect, he started to find peace in prayer and he grew closer to his religion. I love that for him, and I am so happy he has more faith. To support him I also have started to read Quran, and we have discussed a lot about how we can make a marriage work. I told him I promise to worship only one god, to not keep deities, to not drink, not eat pork, not take interest on savings, children could be Islamic and go do prayers in the mosque as long as I am able to read some Ramayan/Mahabharat stories to them because I think the morals in that are great and made me a good person. They would not have to pray in the Hindu way, but at least do Diwali dinner with me.
We discussed every way in which we could maybe make it work.
Today we broke up because I could not give him a Nikkah if I did not convert. I said that I would say the Shahadah and I am already sacrificing a lot (not worshipping deity, no polytheism, Islamic children etc). He said you can't say the Shahadah and tell people you are Hindu.
I understand his point of view, and I respect his decision and he respects mine so we have separated.
His mom called both of us and said we're making a hasty decision and should take time because she has seen how happy I make her son and his family. We both tried talking again, and we agree on everything but we keep getting stuck on how to have a lawful Nikkah, so we still have not gotten back together.
I do love him so much, and I am considering converting at this point because he is so perfect. But it is so hard because I know I would lose my identity a little. Please keep in mind that when we started dating first, he was not religious AT all. It is difficult because halfway through the relationship things changed. I can't blame him, and there is nothing bitter between us, but I don't think I can ever find someone like him again.
I have done a lot for him and his family in his most difficult time when he himself could not give me much, he has also done so much out of love for me.
Please. Please help me. We are both praying every night for God to keep us together. For god to put us in each other's destiny if we are not.
What should I do? I could never love someone like that again. Everything I would do for someone else, I would have done for him and said to him. If I convert and stay I would be upset, and if I let go and marry someone Hindu I would be even more upset. More than anything, I don't think I can do any other partner justice because I will never look at my ex platonically. I feel doomed. Please help me understand the right thing to do.
I looked at all websites and everyone says either convert or leave it, or go against religion and parents. Surely there must be another way. Please. Someone help me please.
(DO NOT hate on Islam if you are hindu and use words like t*rrorists, and do not hate on Hindiusm if you are Muslim please. We are humans, we don't choose what religion we are born into. In the end all religions teach us to be kind and good humans, respect that.)

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The relationship is over because the two of you are incompatible as far as marriage and religion go.
You & he have incompatible ambitions and dealbreakers when it comes to religion while his mother disagrees.
He does not want an interfaith marriage and will not tolerate hinduism in his household.
Nor anyone honestly saying that his wife is a hindu.

There are many people of all religions who feel differently.
My best friend's brother is a follower of the liberal islamic sect led by the aga khan and married to a hindu woman of tamil ethnicity.
His parents had no hesitation in welcoming her into the family.
She is not religious and he would never ask her to convert.
Nor to attempt to conceal either her hindu heritage or her tamil heritage.

My best friend and I have dated guys of all different religious beliefs.
Neither of us would ever consider converting.
Nor dating a guy who was committed to religious endogamy.

I'm lazy catholic with a militant atheist father and vicious fanatic of a catholic maternal grandmother.
My mother was raised in an ultra-traditionalist catholic household with a medieval mindset, when she came home to tell her family that she had decided to marry an atheist she was almost beaten to death and disinherited.
My parents are soulmates and have been together for more than 4 decades.
Original post by Anonymous
I am a 23y Hindu female and I am completely in love with a 24y Muslim male my age.
Please be kind as this is a very difficult time for me. I understand that this is Haraam. We are both working on this.
We are Indian, and our families are based in Dubai. We met through a common group of friends and he is genuinely my perfect match. We decided to be in a relationship because I thought it would work. I thought we could marry. This was because he was not religious at all when I met him. So I thought my parents would be more accepting of this and I would not have to convert.
During the relationship, which was in every way perfect, he started to find peace in prayer and he grew closer to his religion. I love that for him, and I am so happy he has more faith. To support him I also have started to read Quran, and we have discussed a lot about how we can make a marriage work. I told him I promise to worship only one god, to not keep deities, to not drink, not eat pork, not take interest on savings, children could be Islamic and go do prayers in the mosque as long as I am able to read some Ramayan/Mahabharat stories to them because I think the morals in that are great and made me a good person. They would not have to pray in the Hindu way, but at least do Diwali dinner with me.
We discussed every way in which we could maybe make it work.
Today we broke up because I could not give him a Nikkah if I did not convert. I said that I would say the Shahadah and I am already sacrificing a lot (not worshipping deity, no polytheism, Islamic children etc). He said you can't say the Shahadah and tell people you are Hindu.
I understand his point of view, and I respect his decision and he respects mine so we have separated.
His mom called both of us and said we're making a hasty decision and should take time because she has seen how happy I make her son and his family. We both tried talking again, and we agree on everything but we keep getting stuck on how to have a lawful Nikkah, so we still have not gotten back together.
I do love him so much, and I am considering converting at this point because he is so perfect. But it is so hard because I know I would lose my identity a little. Please keep in mind that when we started dating first, he was not religious AT all. It is difficult because halfway through the relationship things changed. I can't blame him, and there is nothing bitter between us, but I don't think I can ever find someone like him again.
I have done a lot for him and his family in his most difficult time when he himself could not give me much, he has also done so much out of love for me.
Please. Please help me. We are both praying every night for God to keep us together. For god to put us in each other's destiny if we are not.
What should I do? I could never love someone like that again. Everything I would do for someone else, I would have done for him and said to him. If I convert and stay I would be upset, and if I let go and marry someone Hindu I would be even more upset. More than anything, I don't think I can do any other partner justice because I will never look at my ex platonically. I feel doomed. Please help me understand the right thing to do.
I looked at all websites and everyone says either convert or leave it, or go against religion and parents. Surely there must be another way. Please. Someone help me please.
(DO NOT hate on Islam if you are hindu and use words like t*rrorists, and do not hate on Hindiusm if you are Muslim please. We are humans, we don't choose what religion we are born into. In the end all religions teach us to be kind and good humans, respect that.)

A muslim is prohibited from marrying a idol worshipper, it’s known as shirk then
Reply 3
Original post by londonmyst
The relationship is over because the two of you are incompatible as far as marriage and religion go.
You & he have incompatible ambitions and dealbreakers when it comes to religion while his mother disagrees.
He does not want an interfaith marriage and will not tolerate hinduism in his household.
Nor anyone honestly saying that his wife is a hindu.

There are many people of all religions who feel differently.
My best friend's brother is a follower of the liberal islamic sect led by the aga khan and married to a hindu woman of tamil ethnicity.
His parents had no hesitation in welcoming her into the family.
She is not religious and he would never ask her to convert.
Nor to attempt to conceal either her hindu heritage or her tamil heritage.

My best friend and I have dated guys of all different religious beliefs.
Neither of us would ever consider converting.
Nor dating a guy who was committed to religious endogamy.

I'm lazy catholic with a militant atheist father and vicious fanatic of a catholic maternal grandmother.
My mother was raised in an ultra-traditionalist catholic household with a medieval mindset, when she came home to tell her family that she had decided to marry an atheist she was almost beaten to death and disinherited.
My parents are soulmates and have been together for more than 4 decades.

i see, just have to take this L and live with it forever
Reply 4
Original post by Mohammed_80
A muslim is prohibited from marrying a idol worshipper, it’s known as shirk then

i know, and that is why i said i will not worship idols
Original post by Anonymous
i know, and that is why i said i will not worship idols

The only way is if you accept Islam purely from the heart learn about the religion and then therefore take it from there
Original post by Anonymous
i see, just have to take this L and live with it forever


You have a few choices:
Convert but continue to believe what you want, in which case your relationship is based on a lie and will fail.
Convert honestly, in which case you're Islamic.
Don't convert, in which case you'll lose his family and likely yours.
Break up with him.

It's up to you, now. That's it.
Reply 7
Original post by Mohammed_80
The only way is if you accept Islam purely from the heart learn about the religion and then therefore take it from there

separation it is. maybe we were sent to each other to ease each other’s hardships and that’s it. nothing more. i don’t wish this pain on my worst enemy.
Reply 8
Original post by ThatOldGuy
You have a few choices:
Convert but continue to believe what you want, in which case your relationship is based on a lie and will fail.
Convert honestly, in which case you're Islamic.
Don't convert, in which case you'll lose his family and likely yours.
Break up with him.

It's up to you, now. That's it.

i could never lie. it’s alright, im accepting that this is my fate. i’ll love from a distance. lol so exciting
Original post by Anonymous
I am a 23y Hindu female and I am completely in love with a 24y Muslim male my age.
Please be kind as this is a very difficult time for me. I understand that this is Haraam. We are both working on this.
We are Indian, and our families are based in Dubai. We met through a common group of friends and he is genuinely my perfect match. We decided to be in a relationship because I thought it would work. I thought we could marry. This was because he was not religious at all when I met him. So I thought my parents would be more accepting of this and I would not have to convert.
During the relationship, which was in every way perfect, he started to find peace in prayer and he grew closer to his religion. I love that for him, and I am so happy he has more faith. To support him I also have started to read Quran, and we have discussed a lot about how we can make a marriage work. I told him I promise to worship only one god, to not keep deities, to not drink, not eat pork, not take interest on savings, children could be Islamic and go do prayers in the mosque as long as I am able to read some Ramayan/Mahabharat stories to them because I think the morals in that are great and made me a good person. They would not have to pray in the Hindu way, but at least do Diwali dinner with me.
We discussed every way in which we could maybe make it work.
Today we broke up because I could not give him a Nikkah if I did not convert. I said that I would say the Shahadah and I am already sacrificing a lot (not worshipping deity, no polytheism, Islamic children etc). He said you can't say the Shahadah and tell people you are Hindu.
I understand his point of view, and I respect his decision and he respects mine so we have separated.
His mom called both of us and said we're making a hasty decision and should take time because she has seen how happy I make her son and his family. We both tried talking again, and we agree on everything but we keep getting stuck on how to have a lawful Nikkah, so we still have not gotten back together.
I do love him so much, and I am considering converting at this point because he is so perfect. But it is so hard because I know I would lose my identity a little. Please keep in mind that when we started dating first, he was not religious AT all. It is difficult because halfway through the relationship things changed. I can't blame him, and there is nothing bitter between us, but I don't think I can ever find someone like him again.
I have done a lot for him and his family in his most difficult time when he himself could not give me much, he has also done so much out of love for me.
Please. Please help me. We are both praying every night for God to keep us together. For god to put us in each other's destiny if we are not.
What should I do? I could never love someone like that again. Everything I would do for someone else, I would have done for him and said to him. If I convert and stay I would be upset, and if I let go and marry someone Hindu I would be even more upset. More than anything, I don't think I can do any other partner justice because I will never look at my ex platonically. I feel doomed. Please help me understand the right thing to do.
I looked at all websites and everyone says either convert or leave it, or go against religion and parents. Surely there must be another way. Please. Someone help me please.
(DO NOT hate on Islam if you are hindu and use words like t*rrorists, and do not hate on Hindiusm if you are Muslim please. We are humans, we don't choose what religion we are born into. In the end all religions teach us to be kind and good humans, respect that.)

You love each other . That’s great. The fact of the matter is that you will have to convert to Islam in order to marry him & have a happy marriage. Faith is a personal and private thing. No one has the right to influence another over it. Spend some quiet time alone. Talk to your own conscience and soul.These things are cosmic & bigger than ‘but I love him’ Do you believe in the teachings of Islam before all others & will you cherish it & respect all that that entails? If you do then you have your answer.
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
You love each other . That’s great. The fact of the matter is that you will have to convert to Islam in order to marry him & have a happy marriage. Faith is a personal and private thing. No one has the right to influence another over it. Spend some quiet time alone. Talk to your own conscience and soul.These things are cosmic & bigger than ‘but I love him’ Do you believe in the teachings of Islam before all others & will you cherish it & respect all that that entails? If you do then you have your answer.

thank you for your guidance.
Reply 11
ask your parents why they choose to worship ? what is the source behind it ? you live in a modern world you can learn about religions also and settled down your life with your match. Muslims have sold concept behind who and why they follow islam. so if your parents think their religion is correct, have a debate with them on this first. why you sacrifice your good relationship ? let continue this here i will be waiting to hear from you.
(edited 6 months ago)
Reply 12
Original post by jeemo
ask your parents why they choose to worship ? what is the source behind it ? you live in a modern world you can learn about religions also and settled down your life with your match. Muslims have sold concept behind who and why they follow islam. so if your parents think their religion is correct, have a debate with them on this first. why you sacrifice your good relationship ? let continue this here i will be waiting to hear from you.

there's rarely ever a reason for this. people are born into certain religions. they carry that forward. most people especially those of previous generations accept what they are told. that then becomes the society's norm.

my ex-partner was born into Islam and learned to love his religion and respect it eventually. i was born into hinduism. i always appreciated the culture and stories behind it. rarely do people follow a certain religion because they went through all of the religious texts and decided this religion makes the most sense so i will follow this. you know?

there's also society. it would be embarrasing for my parents for me to come up to them and say i want to marry outside our community. they made so many sacrifices to get me where i am. even more so, there's a strong belief of Islam spreading so quickly through war and marriages and children that my parents so strongly believe and look down upon.
i understand their pov as well, i could never marry my love if i don't convert properly (as highlighted by previous comments). i could not give him a lawful nikkah without it. even if i fake my shahadah (which i find very immoral), my kids would still have to follow Islam. the rulings are there.
to convert fully would mean letting go of the culture i loved and grew up with. it would mean to be at war with my parents who did so much for me. my father started off with nothing, and he now pays international fees for a respectable degree from a reputable institution so i can stand on my own feet with an advantage which he didn't have.

it is extremely hurtful, but the choice is not as easy. I can't just pick my own happiness. it is tearing me apart, but i can't live with that. i also can't seem to live with the fact that i would lose my partner because society is built a certain way and the Qur'an says what it says about my existence as a non-believer. i don't know what i should do or how my mindset should be like. I only know that it is excruciating pain to have to pick. I blame no one for the predicament I'm in. What happened to our story is just unlucky.
Reply 13
Original post by jeemo
i really don't understand why hindu worship man made stones ? God(Allah) is One and Allah dont have any image. Allah is Noor (Light) which a human cannot see. So what hindu think when they do idol worship. Islam is there in the world from Beginning and have proper trackback of Prophets.

anyway this debate can be very long.

its your own choice.

we make idols on the basis of their description according to scriptures (for example krishna is as dark as the night sky with feet pink like a lotus flower etc).
we then worship them because that is our connection to god. we don’t think that THAT statue is god. i hope that makes sense. just like how the Kaaba symbolizes something holy, idols and temples do the same for us.

we also have one Supreme Personality of Godhead (Lord Krishna) in the Bhagwad Geeta (our main book). he is the one and only just like Allah would be for you. he is said to be omnipresent, a guiding light, the all merciful, the most loving. just like the Qur’an talks about Allah (SWT).

we also have many creation of his that carry out tasks to ensure functioning of the world. thats where other ‘devtas’ come in. and our Lord created other powerful beings (such as Brahma to create) because he can. but they are not as powerful as our Supreme God.

we have 7 layers of heaven and hell in hinduism (just like in islam). in our Geeta it says if you worship one of the devtas (we have millions of them) you go to a lower level of heaven and you spend years there till you have to eventually come back on earth again. if you worship Lord Krishna, you go the highest level of heaven and spend eternity there (you are not reborn). that is why i get confused as to why it is seen as polytheism in Islam really. we too have ONE true god. the term Supreme Personality of Godhead is clearly used. no one has as much power/authority as him. he has given all. he is our source.
it also says that those who follow any other religion, as long as they follow that religion and have done good deeds for people around them and are well-intentioned will have a place in heaven. you as a fully practicing muslim can enter hindu version of heaven for being a good person and being strong in your faith.

i know the Qur’an and other books within Islam/Christianity/Jews say that they are the origin. but if you look scientifically, China showed signs of following a type of religion first, and then Hinduism came and was the biggest religion, and everything was revealed after that. our scriptures date back even older than the Qur’an. We also have historic places that prove many things said in the Geeta and other scriptures.
Just like Islam.
Like the existence of Jerusalem and Mecca/Medina, we also have places like Dwarka, Vrindavan, Jagganathpuri etc that have so much evidence of what our scriptures have said. Our scriptures have sciences and astrology, just like the Qur’an.
That is what makes it even harder to pick and choose. Which one to believe in? Everyone has proofs, everyone has alterations and opinions about religion that changes character and society and affects the way people practice. How do you know? I think sometimes you can point out that the new Testament has some controversies etc and maybe thats true for other religions as well but still it just really is difficult. Genuinely, how do you know?
Tbh I already think you're giving up way too much in your plan of how this marriage is going to incorporate both of your religions, it's almost 100% Muslim and virtually no Hinduism in there which is very unfair. That should already be a red flag that you're willing and prepared to give so much up and he isn't and you should definitely not be sacrificing so much of your culture, religion and identity for anyone. Moreover, even if this marriage were to go ahead as you've described, as there would be so little Hinduism in there even from the beginning, over time it would be very easy to completely erode away all that's left of it, especially if your future children are raised primarily in the Islamic faith. And a guy who seems so wonderful and perfect now could end up being very controlling and an absolute nightmare of a husband down the line, this is actually quite common among Muslim Asian men so beware. And if he's already unwilling to make concessions and expecting most of the family religious life to revolve around Islam then it's likely this will just get stricter with age. If he's not prepared to work on a more 50/50 split then I say you should forget him and look for someone who's going to respect you and your culture more. Don't be so blinded with love and infatuation that you allow someone to erode your values in favour of theirs.
(edited 6 months ago)
Original post by jeemo
i really don't understand why hindu worship man made stones ?


They don't, stones are used as a representation of deities. And if you're veiling this comment as some kind of insult then maybe you should look closer to home as Muslims practically worship a stone in a black box in Mecca.

God(Allah) is One and Allah dont have any image. Allah is Noor (Light) which a human cannot see.


Not sure what point you're trying to make here, you're just describing aspects of the Islamic god, and? Every theistic religion has descriptions of their deity or deities. And by the way, worshipping one god doesn't make you better than a polytheist. There is no logical reason for why one god is more likely than many. You've just been raised in a monotheistic faith so that seems true to you, but to someone raised in a polytheistic religion that will be true for them and you can't prove your model of divinity is better or truer than theirs. Most of human religious history has been polytheistic so the model of multiple gods is far more ancient than monotheism.

So what hindu think when they do idol worship. Islam is there in the world from Beginning and have proper trackback of Prophets.

anyway this debate can be very long.

its your own choice.

Islam hasn't been there from the beginning, not even by a long shot. Islam was invented in the 7th century so it's actually one of the newest religions on the planet.
(edited 6 months ago)
Reply 16
Original post by Sorcerer of Old
They don't, stones are used as a representation of deities. And if you're veiling this comment as some kind of insult then maybe you should look closer to home as Muslims practically worship a stone in a black box in Mecca.



Not sure what point you're trying to make here, you're just describing aspects of the Islamic god, and? Every theistic religion has descriptions of their deity or deities. And by the way, worshipping one god doesn't make you better than a polytheist. There is no logical reason for why one god is more likely than many. You've just been raised in a monotheistic faith so that seems true to you, but to someone raised in a polytheistic religion that will be true for them and you can't prove your model of divinity is better or truer than theirs. Most of human religious history has been polytheistic so the model of multiple gods is far more ancient than monotheism.


Islam hasn't been there from the beginning, not even by a long shot. Islam was invented in the 7th century so it's actually one of the newest religions on the planet.

Islam was there when Adam first set foot on earth. its "we" human who made different religious versions. There are good people and bad people in all man made religions. But my believe is that God(Allah) made us and gave us only 1 Religion to follow. We made its branches based on our own imaginations and by looking at different miracles at different time. May be the rise of Hinduisim was based on one of this miracle. But all of these miracles are done by one and only God (Allah).
Reply 17
Original post by Anonymous
we make idols on the basis of their description according to scriptures (for example krishna is as dark as the night sky with feet pink like a lotus flower etc).
we then worship them because that is our connection to god. we don’t think that THAT statue is god. i hope that makes sense. just like how the Kaaba symbolizes something holy, idols and temples do the same for us.

we also have one Supreme Personality of Godhead (Lord Krishna) in the Bhagwad Geeta (our main book). he is the one and only just like Allah would be for you. he is said to be omnipresent, a guiding light, the all merciful, the most loving. just like the Qur’an talks about Allah (SWT).

we also have many creation of his that carry out tasks to ensure functioning of the world. thats where other ‘devtas’ come in. and our Lord created other powerful beings (such as Brahma to create) because he can. but they are not as powerful as our Supreme God.

we have 7 layers of heaven and hell in hinduism (just like in islam). in our Geeta it says if you worship one of the devtas (we have millions of them) you go to a lower level of heaven and you spend years there till you have to eventually come back on earth again. if you worship Lord Krishna, you go the highest level of heaven and spend eternity there (you are not reborn). that is why i get confused as to why it is seen as polytheism in Islam really. we too have ONE true god. the term Supreme Personality of Godhead is clearly used. no one has as much power/authority as him. he has given all. he is our source.
it also says that those who follow any other religion, as long as they follow that religion and have done good deeds for people around them and are well-intentioned will have a place in heaven. you as a fully practicing muslim can enter hindu version of heaven for being a good person and being strong in your faith.

i know the Qur’an and other books within Islam/Christianity/Jews say that they are the origin. but if you look scientifically, China showed signs of following a type of religion first, and then Hinduism came and was the biggest religion, and everything was revealed after that. our scriptures date back even older than the Qur’an. We also have historic places that prove many things said in the Geeta and other scriptures.
Just like Islam.
Like the existence of Jerusalem and Mecca/Medina, we also have places like Dwarka, Vrindavan, Jagganathpuri etc that have so much evidence of what our scriptures have said. Our scriptures have sciences and astrology, just like the Qur’an.
That is what makes it even harder to pick and choose. Which one to believe in? Everyone has proofs, everyone has alterations and opinions about religion that changes character and society and affects the way people practice. How do you know? I think sometimes you can point out that the new Testament has some controversies etc and maybe thats true for other religions as well but still it just really is difficult. Genuinely, how do you know?

Since you have solid believe and knowledge on your religion you are good enough to decide what to choose.
Original post by jeemo
Islam was there when Adam first set foot on earth. its "we" human who made different religious versions. There are good people and bad people in all man made religions. But my believe is that God(Allah) made us and gave us only 1 Religion to follow. We made its branches based on our own imaginations and by looking at different miracles at different time. May be the rise of Hinduisim was based on one of this miracle. But all of these miracles are done by one and only God (Allah).

No, Islam was invented by Muhammad in the 7th century. You really shouldn’t be trying to tell others that their religion is false when you don’t even know this basic fact of history. Adam is part of your religion’s mythology, he didn’t actually exist. And we know from history that Islam wasn’t a thing until Muhammad created it.
Reply 19
Original post by Sorcerer of Old
No, Islam was invented by Muhammad in the 7th century. You really shouldn’t be trying to tell others that their religion is false when you don’t even know this basic fact of history. Adam is part of your religion’s mythology, he didn’t actually exist. And we know from history that Islam wasn’t a thing until Muhammad created it.

ok it is what you know... there is where we Big BOLD "PART" Big BOLD. we are all same made by one God. if Hazrat Muhammad s.a.w flourish islam in 7th century does not mean it was not exist before. It was there all the way all the time. We have Jesus Christ (as Hazrat Isa. as) in our Book Quran. We gave him much respect and Hazrat Maryam (as) (Mary) is the mother of Prophet Jesus (as).

you need to look around and see different aspect before gripping your thoughts. i respect all people in all religions as all are made by one God. But there are some big big confusions which need to sort out and only time will sort out that. What has done (man made religions) is done. i dont want to win over you or that girl.
(edited 6 months ago)

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