Who am I supposed to date/marry?

I'm a single Muslim female in my early thirties but not religious/practicing but I do have morals when it comes to relationships, I'm not interested in sex before marriage like I only want to do that with one person my whole life. Islamically I can only marry a Muslim man but I don't want to marry a Muslim man. Most of them are no good, they don't know how to respect women, they don't know what being loyal is, what kindness is, can't be supportive, feel entitled to get whatever they want whenever they want and want to be the ones calling all the shots when it's supposed to be a partnership, they don't care, only care about themselves, they only marry for show to show the Muslim community that they're a good Muslim they have a good wife and kids but behind closed doors they're not a good husband or dad. They treat their wife and kids like crap are disloyal with who knows how many side women or they just marry to get freedom from being from strict parent households then do everything they couldn't behind their wives back like go clubbing/drinking etc basically just ruin good Muslim women and their kids. Their sons see what their dads are doing and think it's acceptable and end up doing the same when they're older, an endless cycle repeats itself and the women have to bare the consequences. The good ones are rare and nowhere to be seen and even if I did miraculously meet a good Muslim man and got married, he could say one day that he wants another wife which I will never agree to, I want a monogamous relationship on both ends not just mine. Or he could be thinking about what it's like to sleep with someone else and just end up cheating anyway. Like my only option is a non Muslim who's done all that and is ready to put it behind him and commit to just me but that's not allowed either. Obviously I'd prefer someone who is like me and is waiting for marriage and is loyal but that's unlikely to happen like no man around my age is going to be a virgin and even if he is it doesn't mean he's going to be good he could just cheat anyway. I care more about what the person is like and how they'll treat me than their body count as long as it's not hundreds or thousands. I have severe trust issues, my own dad did that to my mum and all the other men in my family are no good too, doing the same to their wives only difference is that their wives are being disloyal too but my mum never was. My parents separated many years ago. He ruined my mum's life, I don't want the same thing happening to me. I'm probably going to be single for life at this point and die alone 🥺 but I've accepted it, it's a real shame but at least if I'm single for life no one will ever have hurt me and I can always be selfish, I can put myself first, do whatever I want and never have to worry about anyone else.