Where does being a control freak stem from?

Geez stop calling people when they are not with you, just crazy and unhealthy

Is there any medication that I can take for it?! Everytime my boyfriend does something without me I get so paranoid and call him loads. It’s horrible and I feel guilty after I have a ‘episode’ but I’ve been like this since I was 17 and in other relationships that have failed as a result!

It’s so horrible I genuinely don’t want to be like this but everytime it happens again! I’ve tried therapy and it hasn’t seemed to help much

I posted this so I could seek advice and get help not get ridiculed. If I didn’t think it was crazy would I really be asking

You'll never hold down a relationship there's no hope for you

First, I want to debunk the idea that medications are the answer to most emotional issues. Darling, they are not. Depression pills 💊? Iies. The truth is, you're depressed because you think on depressing things not some hormonal imbalance. For your case, you must learn to control your emotions and learn to trust while unlearning the old habit. This is unpopular but here are My suggestions:
A. Your tongue / mouth steers your life. Your life goes in the direction of what you say. Quit saying you're a control freak. Quit calling yourself that. STOP ✋️!!!

B. Daily, call yourself what you want to be. Use exact words. I am sweet, I am understanding, I have control over my emotions, I don't freak out when ****, I love **** without conditions...on and on you go. Specific to the situation. Life and death is in your tongue.

C. The fact that you feel sad and guilty about it affirms that you can control it and your conscience is pliable. It's a good thing. When next you feel the urge, practice restraint. Imagine this...you picked up your phone, dialed his number and and went on an episode. Within those milliseconds is ample time to catch yourself.

D. Come clean with boyfriend and share what the challenge is. Would you do this perfectly from your first try, sorry to disappoint you...NO!!! You'll still fail maybe once or twice but having told him gives some respite. Even within the outburst when you realise what you're doing, quit it and apologise. Ask for his support and understanding as you work on yourself to get over it to nuture a quality relationship.

There is nothing wrong with you. You just need to build trusting others and keep your mind and thoughts focused on sweet, good and lovely things about your bf, yourself and life thus far. Very key. Where your thoughts go, your emotions follows