The Student Room Group

bad references???

basically, i, over the summer, felt rlly guilty about smth that i had done in school and felt the need to admit it. so i admitted it to a teacher. i wrote this whole long email and i dont think she really read it. but i admitted to one bad thing that i had done but it was lowkey rlly bad. and i had also sent some passive aggressive emails to my headteacher(but i was valid for it). now im worried that theyll use it against me in teacher references…
im generally a quiet student, ppl dont tend to pay much attention to me. but i did all of this at the beginning of this school year which sets the tone for the test of the year yk. i think ive pretty much skrewrd myself over, have i?
but i simply just wanted to ask if my school would ever write anything bad about me in my reference.
Original post by rhenal
basically, i, over the summer, felt rlly guilty about smth that i had done in school and felt the need to admit it. so i admitted it to a teacher. i wrote this whole long email and i dont think she really read it. but i admitted to one bad thing that i had done but it was lowkey rlly bad. and i had also sent some passive aggressive emails to my headteacher(but i was valid for it). now im worried that theyll use it against me in teacher references…
im generally a quiet student, ppl dont tend to pay much attention to me. but i did all of this at the beginning of this school year which sets the tone for the test of the year yk. i think ive pretty much skrewrd myself over, have i?
but i simply just wanted to ask if my school would ever write anything bad about me in my reference.

It's not in a school's interest to "write anything bad about me in my reference". If you do well, by getting into a good (or any) uni, then it reflects well on them as a school. Schools don't write negative things in references (which is one of the reasons why some unis don't value them particularly).
Original post by rhenal
basically, i, over the summer, felt rlly guilty about smth that i had done in school and felt the need to admit it. so i admitted it to a teacher. i wrote this whole long email and i dont think she really read it. but i admitted to one bad thing that i had done but it was lowkey rlly bad. and i had also sent some passive aggressive emails to my headteacher(but i was valid for it). now im worried that theyll use it against me in teacher references…
im generally a quiet student, ppl dont tend to pay much attention to me. but i did all of this at the beginning of this school year which sets the tone for the test of the year yk. i think ive pretty much skrewrd myself over, have i?
but i simply just wanted to ask if my school would ever write anything bad about me in my reference.


As said above, I don't think anyone can really "bad-mouth" you in a reference... they're only really allowed to say good things about you. Basically, it would look bad on them if they were to sl*g you off (unless, perhaps, if what you did was really bad, & they feel a duty to raise legit concerns about you, I guess). I think the very worst that could happen was they'd refuse to write you one (i.e. if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all).

Having said that, there are certain specific attributes prospective employers look for in written references (e.g. good time-keeping / punctual with a good attendance record; evidence of being a keen team player, or that you can work on your own initiative etc. etc.) and if they see that these key elements are missing, then they'll draw their own conclusions as to why they're not listed.

Isn't there someone else you can ask? Normally, its your form tutor who would provide the reference, as they know you well personally. If it was them your wrote the email to, maybe you could arrange a call to discuss it with them? At the very least it shows some initiative on your side, as well as a willingness to make amends.
(edited 6 months ago)
Original post by rhenal
basically, i, over the summer, felt rlly guilty about smth that i had done in school and felt the need to admit it. so i admitted it to a teacher. i wrote this whole long email and i dont think she really read it. but i admitted to one bad thing that i had done but it was lowkey rlly bad. and i had also sent some passive aggressive emails to my headteacher(but i was valid for it). now im worried that theyll use it against me in teacher references…
im generally a quiet student, ppl dont tend to pay much attention to me. but i did all of this at the beginning of this school year which sets the tone for the test of the year yk. i think ive pretty much skrewrd myself over, have i?
but i simply just wanted to ask if my school would ever write anything bad about me in my reference.

Schools want to get their students into the best universities they can. It looks good on them if they have a student in Oxbridge or numerous attending RG universities. For this reason a school would rarely write a negative reference. Without knowing what you admitted to or did it is impossible to answer more than that but if it was that bad I would have expected you to have face very serious disciplinary action for what you did.
Reply 4
Original post by swanseajack1
Schools want to get their students into the best universities they can. It looks good on them if they have a student in Oxbridge or numerous attending RG universities. For this reason a school would rarely write a negative reference. Without knowing what you admitted to or did it is impossible to answer more than that but if it was that bad I would have expected you to have face very serious disciplinary action for what you did.

the teacher barely wrote a reply so i guess she didnt care. i wasnt given any disciplinary ‘action’ though i was prepared for it.
Original post by rhenal
the teacher barely wrote a reply so i guess she didnt care. i wasnt given any disciplinary ‘action’ though i was prepared for it.


It doesnt seem that bad. If it was you would have been permanently excluded. I doubt your school will mention it.

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