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Why do I never feel good enough?

I recently had this exam for one of my uni modules and I worked really hard and got 1 mark away from 100% (so 97%) and it turns out I had gotten 2nd highest in my class of 200 students but I thought I got the highest but I only found out I didn't when this guy Damien mentioned he got 100% except he didn't just mention it, when he found out my score was one mark away from his he started rubbing it in my face and kept at it and I felt like I wasn't good enough even though 97% is a good score but I don't feel happy, even when I first found out my grade I felt not happy or sad but empty and then this guy made me feel awful for some reason. I know I'm a perfectionist but no matter what I do I'm never satisfied with my achievements and yes that's probably due to low self esteem but why do I never feel good enough ever????
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Original post by Anonymous #1
I recently had this exam for one of my uni modules and I worked really hard and got 1 mark away from 100% (so 97%) and it turns out I had gotten 2nd highest in my class of 200 students but I thought I got the highest but I only found out I didn't when this guy Damien mentioned he got 100% except he didn't just mention it, when he found out my score was one mark away from his he started rubbing it in my face and kept at it and I felt like I wasn't good enough even though 97% is a good score but I don't feel happy, even when I first found out my grade I felt not happy or sad but empty and then this guy made me feel awful for some reason. I know I'm a perfectionist but no matter what I do I'm never satisfied with my achievements and yes that's probably due to low self esteem but why do I never feel good enough ever????

Man, you have some toxic philosophy about wanting to be a 'perfectionist' all the time and you know what? I relate because I used to be the same until it hit me that I'm not in a race to see who is smarter with other people. I'm in a race with myself and I should only care about how I did and what I can do to improve MYSELF. That dude you are describing sounds like a **** and it's your choice whether or not to listen to his taunts or not, but if you listen to his taunt and get angry, just note that you're allowing yourself to be below him. Anyone who makes you angry/frustrated is automatically your master. That's all I can say man. Don't fall to their traps and don't be such a perfectionist because you're only digging a hole for yourself.

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