Feeling lost

warning for discussion of mental health issues in this post :smile:

I am a 18 year old girl living in Scotland.
I've been feeling really lost on what to do with my education going forward. After the covid lockdowns I stopped going to school almost completely (my mental health was in shambles and I was so mentally unwell that in S5 my attendance was around 30%) and due to this I don't have as many highers as I would like, even though while teaching all the course material to myself I ended up getting good grades. I got three highers in S5 (AAB) as I had to drop one. I was taking two highers and two advanced highers in S6 however I tried to game end myself in October 2022 so I was forced to drop out to work on myself. Now, I am in a mental space a million times better than what I was and am studying a Human Biology higher, which I am expected to get an A in, however because of my mental health past I'm really struggling to decide how to continue when it comes to university. I want to study Literature and Philosophy at a BA(hons) level but I don't think I will have the chance to get into many universities with my current amount of highers. So here I am rambling about it because I'm struggling to find a purpose in my future. There is a local UHI near me which offers the degree however there is no in-person learning with it, it's all video conferences which I don't want to do as I worry the lack of human contact will make me slip back into my old ways. If there is anybody here that has been in a similar situation and could offer up their experience, advice or anything like that I would really appreciate it, I feel so disappointed in myself for having to drop out and any solace I can get would be truly so helpful.

Thank you for reading my ramble, have a great day whoever you are :smile:

(P.s. this is my first time posting and I wasn't sure exactly where to post it so I apologise <3)

Reply 1

black tea

It’s super late right now so I apologise in advance for any typos and if my post doesn’t make much sense. But I just wanted to say a big well done to you for taking time out to get yourself into a better mental space (even if the decision to drop out and work on yourself wasn’t entirely your own), and that*I’m really glad you are doing so much better.

I know you might feel like you are behind right now but trust me, your mental health is more important that anything else and if you needed time out to deal with things, it was the right thing to do and not something to be disappointed about. Would you really want your life to still be what it was a year ago?

The exams and exam results will come - you are clearly an intelligent and self-motivated individual and I have no doubt that you will get the grades you need to get into university. I would imagine what with what you have been through, you will have sufficient grounds to apply with extenuating circumstances with the highers that you have, and if not, there will be other options to get in (gap year to sit an extra higher, foundation courses etc.). *I wonder if you have spoken to a careers advisor about your options?

Please don’t give yourself a hard time for what you have been through. *Be proud of yourself for how far you have come and believe in yourself.