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in 6 months i will finish college and still be a virgin incel autistic loser

in 6 months i will finish college and still be a virgin incel autistic loser, it literally never began for me

people always tell me i should just "work on myself", "focus on myself" and all this ********, when i have literally been doing this for 3+ years and now get negligible attention from girls. even most people ignore me and dont seem interested in being friends with me, whereas everyone else manages fine when making friends and getting girls. i can barely manage a conversation with any girl because im too anxious.
How old are you? Where do girls ignore you? Did girls ignore you at your secondary school too before college? How tall are you? Don’t fret as if you focus on it too much you will get more upset rather than letting it happen naturally.
Reply 2
That last line might be the nub of the issue
Reply 3
Original post by deez nuts moment
in 6 months i will finish college and still be a virgin incel autistic loser, it literally never began for me

people always tell me i should just "work on myself", "focus on myself" and all this ********, when i have literally been doing this for 3+ years and now get negligible attention from girls. even most people ignore me and dont seem interested in being friends with me, whereas everyone else manages fine when making friends and getting girls. i can barely manage a conversation with any girl because im too anxious.

Dont know who your looking at/comparing to, but when I was your age not many of my peers, and definitely including me, didnt even hold a proper conversation with the opposite sex, like alone have a girlfriend/relationship.

I also want to rephrase your statement, in "6 months time I will have successfully graduated from college and will then be keen to start to develop new relationships, there is so much more ahead for me"

Greg
Original post by greg tony
Dont know who your looking at/comparing to, but when I was your age not many of my peers, and definitely including me, didnt even hold a proper conversation with the opposite sex, like alone have a girlfriend/relationship.

I also want to rephrase your statement, in "6 months time I will have successfully graduated from college and will then be keen to start to develop new relationships, there is so much more ahead for me"

Greg

I love this sm
Original post by deez nuts moment
in 6 months i will finish college and still be a virgin incel autistic loser, it literally never began for me

people always tell me i should just "work on myself", "focus on myself" and all this ********, when i have literally been doing this for 3+ years and now get negligible attention from girls. even most people ignore me and dont seem interested in being friends with me, whereas everyone else manages fine when making friends and getting girls. i can barely manage a conversation with any girl because im too anxious.

Imma send you this, and honest I think your both in the same sort of situation. read through it and ik its the same old bull but maybe seeing it from a different veiw might change your own on yourself?

Original post by khv42
no friends, girlfriend, cant talk to girls, insecure, social anxiety, autism, i have all of it and it never changes, nothing gets better

No stop, literally stop. I'm a 16 year old girl, just started college and I know what you mean with the never changes and nothing gets better, but trust me it will. As a religious person I'd say to someone who is also religious to turn to god, but if your not thats fine too so now I have to get my big girl pants on and actually say something to try and help.

First, your 17! 17 DARLING, do you even know how young that is on the grand scale of things, like you have your whole life ahead of you, whole life. This will all seem like a blip in the system when your older but I know right now it feels as though everything that you have built up or tried to build up is crumbling before your eyes, but you can either stand there and look at the rubble, or prepare to get your hands dirty and fix it, rebuild and rebuild, and it will never be perfect, because no human is, but it will be yours and unique to you. Social anxiety, autism are all parts of your structure and being, but theyre still your base and without your foundation then what are you. Dont let things that seem like negatives dull down your potential, instead take a spin on them. You have social anxity, so what, your less likely to fall into the trap of the world, and instead you can see it from a outsiders point of veiw and observe, and when you get the strength and you overcome the social anxity then you can take that out of the foundation and change the material from wood to metal. (Sorry bout the metaphore of the building of your life but this seems like the best way to explain it). Autism is who you are, you cant change that and you shouldn't want to. It sets you aside from all these bland boring humans like myself and makes your unique. Autism is such an interesting way that the brain is wired and the mind of an autistic is so attentative but it also causes insecurities because of the name socity has put on autistic children, but in reality they are so much smarter than us. Look at me for example, I literally didnt even know what an incel was, and here you are teaching me. It just shows how much more intelligent you are and so let that be the architecture to your being. Let it be your soul and accept it because it is the way that you were made and that was for a reason too.

Friends will come and go. Hell, I'm trying to get rid of mine because they arnt the type of people I want to be ascociated with anymore but I physically cant at this point. Don't let friends be the reason you get cracks in your wall because they arn't friends, friends are the ones who patch up your cracks and give you more material to grow. Weather that be tomorrow or in 10 years time, they will come, but you cant be afraid of them. You have to accept that some people are afraid of being around someone with autism because it lowers their so called status but why would you even want to be friends with someone like that. Try talk to someone in college, or join a club where it has to do with one of your hobbies to try and socialise, and even if your sat in the corner, I guarantee someone will see you shine and come to be your friend, and if not their loss, its not yours.

But bubba, girls are just horror. I would know, I am one, and we don't do anything but add stress to peoples lives and like anonymous 2 said, women are a crappy goal in life for a man. My goal in life is become a doctor to help people, get married if god wills and build a family (a big one), but if not then that's the way my life was supposed to go and I am happy enough that I even got a chance to try and God gifted me with love of his creation. Girls will come when you love yourself, because you don't want to get a girlfriend and waste the little bit of appreciation that you do have for yourself on her and then what's left for you? Always put yourself first, start a new hobby, focus on your life goal. Change your appearance if you really want like all them gym men that had depression but then they focus on something different and life changes the path once again. When the time is right, and you are really ready for a commitment of a girl, because we are a commitment and a half, then they will come to you yourself because you will literally scream mature and put together to us and that is a big head turner compared to all the little boys I am still surrounded with.

Focus on building yourself from scratch, the way you want to be, but always remember that god made you perfect regardless of what you think.

Lots of love x
If you can barely manage a conversation with someone of the opposite sex because you are too anxious, you still have more working on yourself to do.

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