parents hogging student loan but not using it?
19F in second year.
My parents have been very adamant about how I use my student loan and don't particularly want me to spend more than £50 a month which is honestly nice? but in this economy I think everyone knows it's not and I'm forgoing outings with my uni friends more often and not being able to spend much on myself. They also of course don't approve of me not coming home as soon as my classes finish (I commute to Coventry from Birmingham and it's my second year) but that's not the main focus here (I've been lying about when my classes finish as a result)
The story has changed so that now although they don't check my account all the time, they plan to empty it. I've already overspent the 50 by maybe 200 because of my best friend's birthday so I'm in trouble for that soon enough but I don't see why my account has to be emptied. The excuse is that we're struggling to move house and we've actually been evicted. We should've been out since October 20th but our landlord hasn't really followed so we're still here waiting. Supposedly now we want to apply for council housing ALTHOUGH we're more than capable of funding a house ourselves. We haven't been evicted for any purpose other than the fact the landlord wants his house back. My account having 3.9k somehow will apparently cause problems in their documents although I repeatedly say it's a loan. Would it be a problem? They've already taken out about 4k that's just sitting in my dad's suitcase that I can't touch. I feel like I'm quietly being robbed but I can't really speak on it because I don't have the correct facts and just saying it's a loan it doesn't count isn't enough. Can anyone enlighten me?
My parents have been very adamant about how I use my student loan and don't particularly want me to spend more than £50 a month which is honestly nice? but in this economy I think everyone knows it's not and I'm forgoing outings with my uni friends more often and not being able to spend much on myself. They also of course don't approve of me not coming home as soon as my classes finish (I commute to Coventry from Birmingham and it's my second year) but that's not the main focus here (I've been lying about when my classes finish as a result)
The story has changed so that now although they don't check my account all the time, they plan to empty it. I've already overspent the 50 by maybe 200 because of my best friend's birthday so I'm in trouble for that soon enough but I don't see why my account has to be emptied. The excuse is that we're struggling to move house and we've actually been evicted. We should've been out since October 20th but our landlord hasn't really followed so we're still here waiting. Supposedly now we want to apply for council housing ALTHOUGH we're more than capable of funding a house ourselves. We haven't been evicted for any purpose other than the fact the landlord wants his house back. My account having 3.9k somehow will apparently cause problems in their documents although I repeatedly say it's a loan. Would it be a problem? They've already taken out about 4k that's just sitting in my dad's suitcase that I can't touch. I feel like I'm quietly being robbed but I can't really speak on it because I don't have the correct facts and just saying it's a loan it doesn't count isn't enough. Can anyone enlighten me?
Why do your parents have access to your bank account in the first place, is the question you should be asking.
Original post by CuteKoalaXD
19F in second year.
My parents have been very adamant about how I use my student loan and don't particularly want me to spend more than £50 a month which is honestly nice? but in this economy I think everyone knows it's not and I'm forgoing outings with my uni friends more often and not being able to spend much on myself. They also of course don't approve of me not coming home as soon as my classes finish (I commute to Coventry from Birmingham and it's my second year) but that's not the main focus here (I've been lying about when my classes finish as a result)
The story has changed so that now although they don't check my account all the time, they plan to empty it. I've already overspent the 50 by maybe 200 because of my best friend's birthday so I'm in trouble for that soon enough but I don't see why my account has to be emptied. The excuse is that we're struggling to move house and we've actually been evicted. We should've been out since October 20th but our landlord hasn't really followed so we're still here waiting. Supposedly now we want to apply for council housing ALTHOUGH we're more than capable of funding a house ourselves. We haven't been evicted for any purpose other than the fact the landlord wants his house back. My account having 3.9k somehow will apparently cause problems in their documents although I repeatedly say it's a loan. Would it be a problem? They've already taken out about 4k that's just sitting in my dad's suitcase that I can't touch. I feel like I'm quietly being robbed but I can't really speak on it because I don't have the correct facts and just saying it's a loan it doesn't count isn't enough. Can anyone enlighten me?
My parents have been very adamant about how I use my student loan and don't particularly want me to spend more than £50 a month which is honestly nice? but in this economy I think everyone knows it's not and I'm forgoing outings with my uni friends more often and not being able to spend much on myself. They also of course don't approve of me not coming home as soon as my classes finish (I commute to Coventry from Birmingham and it's my second year) but that's not the main focus here (I've been lying about when my classes finish as a result)
The story has changed so that now although they don't check my account all the time, they plan to empty it. I've already overspent the 50 by maybe 200 because of my best friend's birthday so I'm in trouble for that soon enough but I don't see why my account has to be emptied. The excuse is that we're struggling to move house and we've actually been evicted. We should've been out since October 20th but our landlord hasn't really followed so we're still here waiting. Supposedly now we want to apply for council housing ALTHOUGH we're more than capable of funding a house ourselves. We haven't been evicted for any purpose other than the fact the landlord wants his house back. My account having 3.9k somehow will apparently cause problems in their documents although I repeatedly say it's a loan. Would it be a problem? They've already taken out about 4k that's just sitting in my dad's suitcase that I can't touch. I feel like I'm quietly being robbed but I can't really speak on it because I don't have the correct facts and just saying it's a loan it doesn't count isn't enough. Can anyone enlighten me?
I would talk to citizens advice dolly - that money is yours regardless of what they want.
Original post by eleanorecn
I would talk to citizens advice dolly - that money is yours regardless of what they want.
Do you have a paper trail of your parents talking about your finances? Or evidence it was your dad who withdrew the 4grand?
Original post by artful_lounger
Why do your parents have access to your bank account in the first place, is the question you should be asking.
well they don't have direct access but unfortunately I'm incapable of saying no when they do want to see it
Original post by eleanorecn
I would talk to citizens advice dolly - that money is yours regardless of what they want.
alright thank youuu
Original post by eleanorecn
Do you have a paper trail of your parents talking about your finances? Or evidence it was your dad who withdrew the 4grand?
I don't have the evidence unfortunately. he's withdrawn in 500s himself, he'd ask for my card and go to the post office. I don't think he'd deny it if asked but its still not proof.
Original post by CuteKoalaXD
19F in second year.
My parents have been very adamant about how I use my student loan and don't particularly want me to spend more than £50 a month which is honestly nice? but in this economy I think everyone knows it's not and I'm forgoing outings with my uni friends more often and not being able to spend much on myself. They also of course don't approve of me not coming home as soon as my classes finish (I commute to Coventry from Birmingham and it's my second year) but that's not the main focus here (I've been lying about when my classes finish as a result)
The story has changed so that now although they don't check my account all the time, they plan to empty it. I've already overspent the 50 by maybe 200 because of my best friend's birthday so I'm in trouble for that soon enough but I don't see why my account has to be emptied. The excuse is that we're struggling to move house and we've actually been evicted. We should've been out since October 20th but our landlord hasn't really followed so we're still here waiting. Supposedly now we want to apply for council housing ALTHOUGH we're more than capable of funding a house ourselves. We haven't been evicted for any purpose other than the fact the landlord wants his house back. My account having 3.9k somehow will apparently cause problems in their documents although I repeatedly say it's a loan. Would it be a problem? They've already taken out about 4k that's just sitting in my dad's suitcase that I can't touch. I feel like I'm quietly being robbed but I can't really speak on it because I don't have the correct facts and just saying it's a loan it doesn't count isn't enough. Can anyone enlighten me?
My parents have been very adamant about how I use my student loan and don't particularly want me to spend more than £50 a month which is honestly nice? but in this economy I think everyone knows it's not and I'm forgoing outings with my uni friends more often and not being able to spend much on myself. They also of course don't approve of me not coming home as soon as my classes finish (I commute to Coventry from Birmingham and it's my second year) but that's not the main focus here (I've been lying about when my classes finish as a result)
The story has changed so that now although they don't check my account all the time, they plan to empty it. I've already overspent the 50 by maybe 200 because of my best friend's birthday so I'm in trouble for that soon enough but I don't see why my account has to be emptied. The excuse is that we're struggling to move house and we've actually been evicted. We should've been out since October 20th but our landlord hasn't really followed so we're still here waiting. Supposedly now we want to apply for council housing ALTHOUGH we're more than capable of funding a house ourselves. We haven't been evicted for any purpose other than the fact the landlord wants his house back. My account having 3.9k somehow will apparently cause problems in their documents although I repeatedly say it's a loan. Would it be a problem? They've already taken out about 4k that's just sitting in my dad's suitcase that I can't touch. I feel like I'm quietly being robbed but I can't really speak on it because I don't have the correct facts and just saying it's a loan it doesn't count isn't enough. Can anyone enlighten me?
Open a new bank account - probably best to do it at a completely different branch to your original bank) before the second installment comes through. Do this ASAP probably ideally before Christmas. Make sure to update your card/bank details on the student finance website. Don't tell your parents about the new account (make sure everything is electronic e.g. bank statements, updates from the bank, so you don't get any post).
(edited 4 months ago)
Original post by CuteKoalaXD
well they don't have direct access but unfortunately I'm incapable of saying no when they do want to see it
Ok well you need to recognise you're an adult and it's your money and stop facilitating them in this?
Original post by CuteKoalaXD
19F in second year.
My parents have been very adamant about how I use my student loan and don't particularly want me to spend more than £50 a month which is honestly nice? but in this economy I think everyone knows it's not and I'm forgoing outings with my uni friends more often and not being able to spend much on myself. They also of course don't approve of me not coming home as soon as my classes finish (I commute to Coventry from Birmingham and it's my second year) but that's not the main focus here (I've been lying about when my classes finish as a result)
The story has changed so that now although they don't check my account all the time, they plan to empty it. I've already overspent the 50 by maybe 200 because of my best friend's birthday so I'm in trouble for that soon enough but I don't see why my account has to be emptied. The excuse is that we're struggling to move house and we've actually been evicted. We should've been out since October 20th but our landlord hasn't really followed so we're still here waiting. Supposedly now we want to apply for council housing ALTHOUGH we're more than capable of funding a house ourselves. We haven't been evicted for any purpose other than the fact the landlord wants his house back. My account having 3.9k somehow will apparently cause problems in their documents although I repeatedly say it's a loan. Would it be a problem? They've already taken out about 4k that's just sitting in my dad's suitcase that I can't touch. I feel like I'm quietly being robbed but I can't really speak on it because I don't have the correct facts and just saying it's a loan it doesn't count isn't enough. Can anyone enlighten me?
My parents have been very adamant about how I use my student loan and don't particularly want me to spend more than £50 a month which is honestly nice? but in this economy I think everyone knows it's not and I'm forgoing outings with my uni friends more often and not being able to spend much on myself. They also of course don't approve of me not coming home as soon as my classes finish (I commute to Coventry from Birmingham and it's my second year) but that's not the main focus here (I've been lying about when my classes finish as a result)
The story has changed so that now although they don't check my account all the time, they plan to empty it. I've already overspent the 50 by maybe 200 because of my best friend's birthday so I'm in trouble for that soon enough but I don't see why my account has to be emptied. The excuse is that we're struggling to move house and we've actually been evicted. We should've been out since October 20th but our landlord hasn't really followed so we're still here waiting. Supposedly now we want to apply for council housing ALTHOUGH we're more than capable of funding a house ourselves. We haven't been evicted for any purpose other than the fact the landlord wants his house back. My account having 3.9k somehow will apparently cause problems in their documents although I repeatedly say it's a loan. Would it be a problem? They've already taken out about 4k that's just sitting in my dad's suitcase that I can't touch. I feel like I'm quietly being robbed but I can't really speak on it because I don't have the correct facts and just saying it's a loan it doesn't count isn't enough. Can anyone enlighten me?
It sounds like you're in a difficult position, since it looks like your relationship with your parents is at risk here.
Ultimately, your student loan is your money -- for you to spend as you wish.
If you're living at home, then it's reasonable for your parents to ask you to use some of your loan towards their costs of housing and feeding you (since these are expenses you'd have if you were living away from home).
Regarding your eviction, I think it would be worth getting advice from Citizens Advice. If you "should've been out since October 20th but [y]our landlord hasn't really followed [through]" then, in my mind at least, there's potentially a question of whether or not that eviction can be carried out now. Note: I am not a lawyer. As to getting council housing, there's a significant shortage of this, so you're very unlikely to be given anything quickly.
If your dad is taking money out of your account -- and he shouldn't be using your card to do this (it's very likely to be a breach in the Ts&Cs of your account) -- and holding it in cash, then it sounds like this might be being done to misrepresent your family's financial position when applying for council accommodation.
Original post by martin7
It sounds like you're in a difficult position, since it looks like your relationship with your parents is at risk here.
Ultimately, your student loan is your money -- for you to spend as you wish.
If you're living at home, then it's reasonable for your parents to ask you to use some of your loan towards their costs of housing and feeding you (since these are expenses you'd have if you were living away from home).
Regarding your eviction, I think it would be worth getting advice from Citizens Advice. If you "should've been out since October 20th but [y]our landlord hasn't really followed [through]" then, in my mind at least, there's potentially a question of whether or not that eviction can be carried out now. Note: I am not a lawyer. As to getting council housing, there's a significant shortage of this, so you're very unlikely to be given anything quickly.
If your dad is taking money out of your account -- and he shouldn't be using your card to do this (it's very likely to be a breach in the Ts&Cs of your account) -- and holding it in cash, then it sounds like this might be being done to misrepresent your family's financial position when applying for council accommodation.
Ultimately, your student loan is your money -- for you to spend as you wish.
If you're living at home, then it's reasonable for your parents to ask you to use some of your loan towards their costs of housing and feeding you (since these are expenses you'd have if you were living away from home).
Regarding your eviction, I think it would be worth getting advice from Citizens Advice. If you "should've been out since October 20th but [y]our landlord hasn't really followed [through]" then, in my mind at least, there's potentially a question of whether or not that eviction can be carried out now. Note: I am not a lawyer. As to getting council housing, there's a significant shortage of this, so you're very unlikely to be given anything quickly.
If your dad is taking money out of your account -- and he shouldn't be using your card to do this (it's very likely to be a breach in the Ts&Cs of your account) -- and holding it in cash, then it sounds like this might be being done to misrepresent your family's financial position when applying for council accommodation.
I do believe its for misrepresenting our position, my parents are very financially capable but I know that they don't like to appear so. The reason the eviction is taking long is due to the fact the landlord didn't have the correct licence, being the right to rent or sell the house. Council housing is in shortage I do understand that and I have spoken with them quite often about how that route really isn't worth it and my siblings are all getting to uni years (two other boys who would have no problem moving out if they willed and therefore manage their own finances, although being their older sister they are quite incapable). My parents have no other family in this country or abroad at all besides their home land so I guess they feel like they need to be anchors for those back home, but the situation and the kind of people they're supporting and calling family? I know I myself would cut their funds short as soon as my parents cannot.
Original post by Chronoscope
Open a new bank account - probably best to do it at a completely different branch to your original bank) before the second installment comes through. Do this ASAP probably ideally before Christmas. Make sure to update your card/bank details on the student finance website. Don't tell your parents about the new account (make sure everything is electronic e.g. bank statements, updates from the bank, so you don't get any post).
See I did plan to do this but my parents would ask me if the money has landed in my bank account, like they did yesterday. I don't have the authority over myself to say no if they wanted to see my accounts and the statements. My dad has sat and counted my purchases because I spent 700 in two months including paying for my travel which is 300 and food and a fix for my laptop screen (I'd like to note I'm a second year computer science student with a laptop built for the functions of a med student as that's what they had me aimed for and I was incapable thank god but also therefore can't even do some of the functions im being asked for my coursework. Yes I've asked for a pc since I started the course a year and a half ago.)
Original post by artful_lounger
Ok well you need to recognise you're an adult and it's your money and stop facilitating them in this?
I recognise it and I'm here because I don't want to facilitate it but I'd also like not to threaten harm to myself in saying no. Just in asking for their reasoning of taking money it gets aggressive and I don't know how much worse it might get. They're not bad otherwise they have odd cultural mismatches but I'm not tied into any of them so I don't think I could call them abusive tho they have been very emotionally manipulative and I recognise that too.
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