Original post by MollyYvonne
For context, me and boyfriend (lets call him Charles, not his real name) have been together for 6 months, friends for two years. He's a gem, and I've never had anyone better.
Over the last couple of days, it's been 8pm, 9pm when he texts me. I'll text him when I wake up, when I'm on break at work and then when I get home from work.
He's reassured me that he'll always get back to me, and he does, but it's not a nice feeling when I've got time to text him when I'm at work and I don't hear from him.
He'll say he was busy, but in my eyes, it takes two seconds to reply and send a quick 'I love you'. What's more annoying, is that he'll be in his phone - Whatsapp, Instagram, playing games etc, and it upsets me.
Tonight, he told me his internet provider has started capping his internet, so we won't be able to call as much as we do. That upset me.
Am I being unreasonable? He's the best I've ever had, and probably will have. Is it asking for too much if I ask for a good morning text?
Over the last couple of days, it's been 8pm, 9pm when he texts me. I'll text him when I wake up, when I'm on break at work and then when I get home from work.
He's reassured me that he'll always get back to me, and he does, but it's not a nice feeling when I've got time to text him when I'm at work and I don't hear from him.
He'll say he was busy, but in my eyes, it takes two seconds to reply and send a quick 'I love you'. What's more annoying, is that he'll be in his phone - Whatsapp, Instagram, playing games etc, and it upsets me.
Tonight, he told me his internet provider has started capping his internet, so we won't be able to call as much as we do. That upset me.
Am I being unreasonable? He's the best I've ever had, and probably will have. Is it asking for too much if I ask for a good morning text?
He's busy, I'd imagine. It's not unreasonable for him to not message you while he's doing other things, particularly during working hours. Plus, people have different communication needs. People need space. Of personal note, my ex used to constantly message me all throughout the day and it was annoying. It was cute at first, but it quickly became annoying. Felt like I had to constantly report to her and that's not a nice feeling. Sometimes I just wanted to be alone and not have to talk to anyone for a bit.
You need to talk to him about what your expectations are and compromise. You can't necessarily expect him to message you during working hours and you also need to account for the fact he (probably) has a social life and things he wants to do, and so do you (or at the very least you should), so you also can't expect him to message you a lot outside of working hours either. Don't let your long-distance relationship stop you from living life!
I have a long distance relationship and I basically set a time for my girl to message with her, say 8pm to 10pm, or whatever suits you. Often during the day it is not convenient, people have work, study, want to rest, have a bath, want to eat, watch something, listen to music, relax, send of important emails, return important phone calls, etc, etc.
My girl has said that she wants to message more during the day on a random basis but this is rarely convenient. She tends to message a lot back & forth and unless she's happy with a long wait between messages or me forgetting to message back it's just not practical. Personally I prefer to have a dedicated time in the late evening/night when we can message back and forth uninterrupted and isn't constantly messing with tasks during the day. The old adage of women being able to multitask men not so happy too comes in here I think.
Remember also that the guy needs to message other family & friends. Also everyone needs time out doing what they do to relax whether on games, forums, etc. If you want his attention you could send him some sexy pics but again it's not going to be easy for him to get into it while at work, sat with family, etc as it's a while different ball game.
My girl has said that she wants to message more during the day on a random basis but this is rarely convenient. She tends to message a lot back & forth and unless she's happy with a long wait between messages or me forgetting to message back it's just not practical. Personally I prefer to have a dedicated time in the late evening/night when we can message back and forth uninterrupted and isn't constantly messing with tasks during the day. The old adage of women being able to multitask men not so happy too comes in here I think.
Remember also that the guy needs to message other family & friends. Also everyone needs time out doing what they do to relax whether on games, forums, etc. If you want his attention you could send him some sexy pics but again it's not going to be easy for him to get into it while at work, sat with family, etc as it's a while different ball game.
The question is why do you need regular texts and 'I love you' messages? The latter loses its meaning when it's said all the time or if you are asked to send it.
He's replying, just not when you want him to. If he's that much of a gem, learn that compromise is part of a relationship, especially over something that you may see as major, but isn't really...
PS. I'm in an LDR.
He's replying, just not when you want him to. If he's that much of a gem, learn that compromise is part of a relationship, especially over something that you may see as major, but isn't really...
PS. I'm in an LDR.
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by MollyYvonne
For context, me and boyfriend (lets call him Charles, not his real name) have been together for 6 months, friends for two years. He's a gem, and I've never had anyone better.
Over the last couple of days, it's been 8pm, 9pm when he texts me. I'll text him when I wake up, when I'm on break at work and then when I get home from work.
He's reassured me that he'll always get back to me, and he does, but it's not a nice feeling when I've got time to text him when I'm at work and I don't hear from him.
He'll say he was busy, but in my eyes, it takes two seconds to reply and send a quick 'I love you'. What's more annoying, is that he'll be in his phone - Whatsapp, Instagram, playing games etc, and it upsets me.
Tonight, he told me his internet provider has started capping his internet, so we won't be able to call as much as we do. That upset me.
Am I being unreasonable? He's the best I've ever had, and probably will have. Is it asking for too much if I ask for a good morning text?
Over the last couple of days, it's been 8pm, 9pm when he texts me. I'll text him when I wake up, when I'm on break at work and then when I get home from work.
He's reassured me that he'll always get back to me, and he does, but it's not a nice feeling when I've got time to text him when I'm at work and I don't hear from him.
He'll say he was busy, but in my eyes, it takes two seconds to reply and send a quick 'I love you'. What's more annoying, is that he'll be in his phone - Whatsapp, Instagram, playing games etc, and it upsets me.
Tonight, he told me his internet provider has started capping his internet, so we won't be able to call as much as we do. That upset me.
Am I being unreasonable? He's the best I've ever had, and probably will have. Is it asking for too much if I ask for a good morning text?
I guess break up if you are not happy about this situation, long distances never work out
Original post by Hey Lyla Girl
I guess break up if you are not happy about this situation, long distances never work out
Wrong; LDRs can work out. They take patience and commitment, but then relations do, anyway.
Hi all
A small note regarding this thread (OG Poster here)
I want to clarify that I do not need him to text me 24 hours, that is absolutely unreasonable, and I complete respect he's busy, trust me.
My worries come from when I see him messaging in our shared group chats - one of them I don't really chat in, and the other is just me, him and his two friends. When I see him interacting in there, after I messaged him hours ago, that's where I start to huff a little.
Again, I do NOT need him to text me non stop - that's completely unreasonable.
Today, it happened again - didn't hear from him till 10pm. I've been at work from 6am - 12pm, then university 2pm-4pm, had a nap and did uni work, but I still managed to text.
I've brought this up before - the other day, I didn't hear from him all day. I messaged him around 7pm to let him know that I got to my mates house safely.
'Aw lovely'
'Busy day?'
'Nah not really'
Like ?
A small note regarding this thread (OG Poster here)
I want to clarify that I do not need him to text me 24 hours, that is absolutely unreasonable, and I complete respect he's busy, trust me.
My worries come from when I see him messaging in our shared group chats - one of them I don't really chat in, and the other is just me, him and his two friends. When I see him interacting in there, after I messaged him hours ago, that's where I start to huff a little.
Again, I do NOT need him to text me non stop - that's completely unreasonable.
Today, it happened again - didn't hear from him till 10pm. I've been at work from 6am - 12pm, then university 2pm-4pm, had a nap and did uni work, but I still managed to text.
I've brought this up before - the other day, I didn't hear from him all day. I messaged him around 7pm to let him know that I got to my mates house safely.
'Aw lovely'
'Busy day?'
'Nah not really'
Like ?
If it upsets you this much just tell him. I'm not saying have an argument, just tell it to him straight. He'll either take it on board because you mean enough to him that he will try and change (and long term relationships whether cohabiting/married require some adjustment of behaviours of the people involved) or he won't in which case you have to ask yourself if this is going to upset you enough to end it (and it's absolutely reasonable to want to feel like you're important to him). Just some guys won't see it that way and you're better off knowing before you get in too deep so you can make a choice. No sense being in a relationship and being upset.
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