The Student Room Group

Any tips??

One of my guy friends goes out sometimes with his mates partying, and everytime I always worry something will happen to him and feel myself feeling anxious and always thinking the worst will happen. Everytime he’s absolutely fine but it’s the same for all my friends too not just him. Anybody have tips on how to stop how I feel??😅
Reply 1
Being concerned about the wellbeing of other adults is absolutely fine but being anxious to the point where it affects your wellbeing is not. The only thing you can do is reframe the way you think. So rather than think "I can't stand it when X goes partying because something terrible might happen to them and until I know they are home safe, I can't relax", you could think something along the lines of "I would prefer it if X didn't go out partying which causes me excessive worry because terrible things can and do happen out there in the world but I accept that this is not a reasonable or realistic demand. So when X goes out partying, while it is OK to be concerned for their wellbeing, I accept that (a) they are a free agent and make decisions for themselves and (b) I have no control over what happens when they go out". The point here is that your worrying has absolutely no impact on what happens when X goes partying, so it's a waste of time and emotional energy.
(edited 11 months ago)
Reply 2
Original post by cheadle
Being concerned about the wellbeing of other adults is absolutely fine but being anxious to the point where it affects your wellbeing is not. The only thing you can do is reframe the way you think. So rather than think "I can't stand it when X goes partying because something terrible might happen to them and until I know they are home safe, I can't relax", you could think something along the lines of "I would prefer it if X didn't go out partying which causes me excessive worry because terrible things can and do happen out there in the world but I accept that this is not a reasonable or realistic demand. So when X goes out partying, while it is OK to be concerned for their wellbeing, I accept that (a) they are a free agent and make decisions for themselves and (b) I have no control over what happens when they go out". The point here is that your worrying has absolutely no impact on what happens when X goes partying, so it's a waste of time and emotional energy.

ahh thank you so much!! i wouldn’t say it affects my well-being, so for example i’m still able to have fun in my own time and not stress about X. I’ll try that next time- I really appreciate it☺️
Reply 3
That's great, see how you get on, and don't worry if it doesn't always work as well as you'd like, just keep practising - and it's good to hear that you can still switch off and have fun - that should make it easier to manage.

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