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Dumped my ex and regret it, how can I get her back?

I broke up with my ex-girlfriend a few months ago as she was going through some mental health issues and it was too much for me to handle, she needed professional help (which she eventually got) and I couldn't handle it anymore. In the following months, I expected her to fall apart when I left her but surprisingly she got back up and everything has been going well for her and she seems to be doing good.

In addition to getting help with her issues, she got a very high-paying job and is currently working on her doctorate degree. Her father (who was very well off) passed away and she inherited his house and I know she has a good amount of money now. She seems to be a lot happier now and has been buying herself brand-name clothing, a new car, etc.

I hate to admit it but I'm not doing nearly as good as her, I have a career but it doesn't pay nearly what she's making and I did have to move in with my parents again to save some money, as I was living in her flat when we were together.

She has been seeing someone new and seems happy.. I just feel like now that she's doing better and isn't struggling with mental health issues, I can make her happy. I know it sounds messed up but it's also not completely fair on my part because I had to deal with her issues and I never got to have her when she was doing well, if that makes sense.

I tried reaching out to her and had my parents reach out to her for me, but no response.. Is there any way I can get her back and prove to her that I'm the right one for her?
Reply 1
In my view, move on. As sad it may be, your relationship will be linked to the period of time her mental health declined therefore not a good idea. Material wealth is not true happiness. Work on yourself every day, consciously.
bro if you can't handle her at her worst...
just be glad for her ig, but I don't think you're gonna get her back
Reply 3
Original post by ohyegodsmyroast
bro if you can't handle her at her worst...
just be glad for her ig, but I don't think you're gonna get her back

I dont agree with that, with each person having their own individual lives and challenges; why should any man have to take ownership of anothers problems when they are not a healthcare professional. The reality is once these men and women are 'cured' they seem to forget the emotional dumping they did on the people around them
I can’t lie, the first post is quite unpleasant to read.

If you respect her, be thankful she’s in a better place and focus on yourself.
Original post by wasimi
I dont agree with that, with each person having their own individual lives and challenges; why should any man have to take ownership of anothers problems when they are not a healthcare professional. The reality is once these men and women are 'cured' they seem to forget the emotional dumping they did on the people around them

yh i don't think it's your duty to stay with someone who has serious mental health problems, and you probably won't be able to 'fix' them alone, but if you leave you can't come crawling back when they're doing well and are rich...
Reply 6
You will find that a lot of life's experiences are unpleasant. Being ignorant of it in my view, results in being let down and sadly being in situations similar to the OP
icl also as a female with on and off mental health issues, it sounds more to me like you want her back not bc you still have genuine feelings for her and want to make her happy, but bc you're either consciously or unconsciously bitter that she's in your mind 'more successful' than you in terms of her fortune and career prospects as of late since getting help-
i assume these issues she had were long term in your relationship- a long-term mental health issue rarely just stops, the likelihood is that she'll continue to have good days and bad days, what you see of what she's been able to accomplish and how she looks won't give you a whole picture.
'dealing with her issues' is part of the deal itself - if you couldn't at least be there to support her in getting help as her SO, your only option would have been to do the right thing and break up with her.
obvi there's the issue of the fact that she's with someone else now as well- i wouldn't want to believe that you're in any way materialistic, and i hope you do genuinely care about her- if that's the case, i'd suggest maybe sending her a message if you're still in contact and at least attempt to start talking as friends, but idk i just don't think it's the best decision to want to be with her again when she's with someone else
Reply 8
Had basically the same situation but roles reversed (I was in the position of having bad mental health) and I broke up with him. I didn't always know what was causing these episodes at the time but after leaving it was definitely because of him, and I improved myself and quickly after I'd picked myself up. We did get back together, not because my mental health got better and he could handle me again, but because he agreed to change, because we talked about how our relationship was and the things that caused the issues. You can try talking to her and reflecting on your relationship, but you're probably better off leaving her alone, especially since she's not replying. Don't barrage her with messages/calls etc. She's clearly doing well and you might cause the same issues again. [Edit: didn't notice she was with someone else at first. Do not attempt to get back with her. Just be polite and do not infringe on their relationship]
(edited 4 months ago)
Original post by Anonymous #1
I broke up with my ex-girlfriend a few months ago as she was going through some mental health issues and it was too much for me to handle, she needed professional help (which she eventually got) and I couldn't handle it anymore. In the following months, I expected her to fall apart when I left her but surprisingly she got back up and everything has been going well for her and she seems to be doing good.

In addition to getting help with her issues, she got a very high-paying job and is currently working on her doctorate degree. Her father (who was very well off) passed away and she inherited his house and I know she has a good amount of money now. She seems to be a lot happier now and has been buying herself brand-name clothing, a new car, etc.

I hate to admit it but I'm not doing nearly as good as her, I have a career but it doesn't pay nearly what she's making and I did have to move in with my parents again to save some money, as I was living in her flat when we were together.

She has been seeing someone new and seems happy.. I just feel like now that she's doing better and isn't struggling with mental health issues, I can make her happy. I know it sounds messed up but it's also not completely fair on my part because I had to deal with her issues and I never got to have her when she was doing well, if that makes sense.

I tried reaching out to her and had my parents reach out to her for me, but no response.. Is there any way I can get her back and prove to her that I'm the right one for her?

Your attitude is very mercenary.
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous #1
I broke up with my ex-girlfriend a few months ago as she was going through some mental health issues and it was too much for me to handle, she needed professional help (which she eventually got) and I couldn't handle it anymore. In the following months, I expected her to fall apart when I left her but surprisingly she got back up and everything has been going well for her and she seems to be doing good.

In addition to getting help with her issues, she got a very high-paying job and is currently working on her doctorate degree. Her father (who was very well off) passed away and she inherited his house and I know she has a good amount of money now. She seems to be a lot happier now and has been buying herself brand-name clothing, a new car, etc.

I hate to admit it but I'm not doing nearly as good as her, I have a career but it doesn't pay nearly what she's making and I did have to move in with my parents again to save some money, as I was living in her flat when we were together.

She has been seeing someone new and seems happy.. I just feel like now that she's doing better and isn't struggling with mental health issues, I can make her happy. I know it sounds messed up but it's also not completely fair on my part because I had to deal with her issues and I never got to have her when she was doing well, if that makes sense.

I tried reaching out to her and had my parents reach out to her for me, but no response.. Is there any way I can get her back and prove to her that I'm the right one for her?

To be honest sounds like you've got major fomo, the real question is would you want her back if she was still a mess and didn't have the inheritance... I think not.

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