self acceptance after exam

Please tell me I'm not the only one who does this....
After I graduated from high school with a good GPA and decided to enter medicine, I was completely overwhelmed by the amount of content I had to cover but I didn't give up because this was and still is my passion.
In my college we have this Foundation year where you need to get all A's or at least to 2 B+ to succeed and move to year 1. Having almost 600+ students competing for a seat in year 1 only 300 get accepted.
This just makes this year even more overwhelming and nerve wrecking.
Just yesterday I took an exam for Biology 2 and it wasn't that hard just that many questions had very similar answers. There was these 2 questions each worth a mark that really confused me. After submitting my answers I checked and realized that my first answer was correct. I happened to change the answer on the last minute. This isn't the first time I change my correct answer on the last minute. I don't know why I change it but I always do and now I can't afford to make more mistakes. As a Muslim I prayed and did dua so many times and fully put my trust in Allah this exam and still nothing different has happened. Like is medicine not meant for me at this point? I looked into it and even asked my adviser about this issue and he said you need to work on your self confidence... but how?

I tend to have this overthinking issue and self doubt. I always question my self and after getting a bad mark I start to question my self worth. I know I shouldn't but when you put your everything to this exam and know you had the right answer the in first place but changed it due to anxiety or panicking it's hard not to question yourself.
I tried many study techniques and found the best one for me but my issue isn't the questions or material rather my confidence in myself...
Anyone know how I can improve this?

Reply 1

Sumehra

I hope you’re doing well!! I just wanted to let you know that you’re seen and offer my opinion. I’m no med student so I can’t say I’ve experienced the exact same, but I think in this case, affirmations might help. You seem quite logical and pragmatic, so seeing the plain facts might help. You need to accept yourself as being smart as fact. You have done well in your studies and been accepted into the hardest possible course there is and you’re still getting by. Your brain has a wealth of knowledge and you need to trust in your abilities. To do so, try to appreciate the simple facts of your academic history and know that you truly are enough. If you feel that there may be comparison issues with feeling lacking amongst your peers, then know that is only because you have made it to the upper echelons and have surrounded yourself with people who should inspire you to grow too. You are all hard workers and strive to be the best you can be, and one day you’ll become someone others in the same position as you will take inspiration from, and it’s a place you won’t ever even notice reaching. Inshallah, all will be fine, have faith and know that Allah (swt) has and will lead you down the path that is right for you.