I don't want to go back to college because of my weight
I obviously changed since I left college at 17 and I am now 22 and I most likely gained weight since then and even grew a tiny bit since then and I don't look like my 17 year old self. Is this a stupid reason to not do what I want?
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Original post by Anonymous
I obviously changed since I left college at 17 and I am now 22 and I most likely gained weight since then and even grew a tiny bit since then and I don't look like my 17 year old self. Is this a stupid reason to not do what I want?
If you only "most likely gained weight", and you're not even absolutely sure that you did, then any weight gain can't be significant.
Even if you have gained weight (which we've yet to establish) why would that be an obstacle to your return? It's 5 years since you were last there, so none of the students will be the same. It's also likely that a lot of the staff will have changed by now too.
It is a stupid reason to bail out of your aspirations because you can lose so many life long opportunities and benefits by ensuring you fail before you have even started (self sabotage)
It is not a stupid reason to feel as you do. Clearly you feel very self conscious about how your physical self has changed? Has your emotional self changed in the same way? - No probably not. That is the irony of life, and the effect of life's hard knocks which etch onto our faces. We are as we are. But at the same time you have changed in physique so have all of your friends and work colleagues. Some people have iron discipline to keep a workout, keep walking, keep exercising; others who are wall to wall looking after kids, dogs, partners, work struggle to add working out to that list. Life gets crazy busy at times with not enough time to breathe and then something has to give.
But some of the most caring, funny people are the heavy guys. Thank goodness, someone else has put on more weight than me! Thank goodness others have major flaws and do not wear well. That is the funny part of life, watching how people we know well sag and wear out. Good - because no matter what we measure ourselves on a continuum scale and make comparisons between those people we know. It can make us feel better, it can make us feel worse. We are probably not the worst or the best but we wear our true self from within. Spend your year stressing over how you have changed when you could have gained so much more looking outwards and just accepting you are how you are. Your physical self is just that, a means to an end and life is short and temporary. You can never relive that last minute. So treasure your physical self. Feed it with fruit & veg and avoid the processed foods. Drink lots of water. Then max out your life's ambitions, forget how you think you appear and aim for the stars.
It is not a stupid reason to feel as you do. Clearly you feel very self conscious about how your physical self has changed? Has your emotional self changed in the same way? - No probably not. That is the irony of life, and the effect of life's hard knocks which etch onto our faces. We are as we are. But at the same time you have changed in physique so have all of your friends and work colleagues. Some people have iron discipline to keep a workout, keep walking, keep exercising; others who are wall to wall looking after kids, dogs, partners, work struggle to add working out to that list. Life gets crazy busy at times with not enough time to breathe and then something has to give.
But some of the most caring, funny people are the heavy guys. Thank goodness, someone else has put on more weight than me! Thank goodness others have major flaws and do not wear well. That is the funny part of life, watching how people we know well sag and wear out. Good - because no matter what we measure ourselves on a continuum scale and make comparisons between those people we know. It can make us feel better, it can make us feel worse. We are probably not the worst or the best but we wear our true self from within. Spend your year stressing over how you have changed when you could have gained so much more looking outwards and just accepting you are how you are. Your physical self is just that, a means to an end and life is short and temporary. You can never relive that last minute. So treasure your physical self. Feed it with fruit & veg and avoid the processed foods. Drink lots of water. Then max out your life's ambitions, forget how you think you appear and aim for the stars.
Original post by DataVenia
If you only "most likely gained weight", and you're not even absolutely sure that you did, then any weight gain can't be significant.
Even if you have gained weight (which we've yet to establish) why would that be an obstacle to your return? It's 5 years since you were last there, so none of the students will be the same. It's also likely that a lot of the staff will have changed by now too.
Even if you have gained weight (which we've yet to establish) why would that be an obstacle to your return? It's 5 years since you were last there, so none of the students will be the same. It's also likely that a lot of the staff will have changed by now too.
My body shape has changed, my body has changed I just hate it. I look 12 years old but I still hate it, looking 12 years old at my age doesn't mean my body hasn't changed. It has, because I went from being a teen to an adult so of course my body will change.
I think I may have lost the weight that I have gained now to be honest as my tops don't fit me anymore when before they used to. I did that deliberately because I want to look like my 17 year old self but sadly I can't do anything about my height. I can't become shorter like how I was before. Losing the weight that I may have gained and I may or may not be thinner than how I was when I was 17, but that does not change the shape of my body does it? I am 22 and I can't do anything about that.
Original post by Anonymous
My body shape has changed, my body has changed I just hate it. I look 12 years old but I still hate it, looking 12 years old at my age doesn't mean my body hasn't changed. It has, because I went from being a teen to an adult so of course my body will change.
I think I may have lost the weight that I have gained now to be honest as my tops don't fit me anymore when before they used to. I did that deliberately because I want to look like my 17 year old self but sadly I can't do anything about my height. I can't become shorter like how I was before. Losing the weight that I may have gained and I may or may not be thinner than how I was when I was 17, but that does not change the shape of my body does it? I am 22 and I can't do anything about that.
I think I may have lost the weight that I have gained now to be honest as my tops don't fit me anymore when before they used to. I did that deliberately because I want to look like my 17 year old self but sadly I can't do anything about my height. I can't become shorter like how I was before. Losing the weight that I may have gained and I may or may not be thinner than how I was when I was 17, but that does not change the shape of my body does it? I am 22 and I can't do anything about that.
OK. So you "may have lost the weight that I have gained now to be honest" and "may or may not be thinner than how I was when I was 17". So this isn't really a weight issue. It's a height issue?! You've gained a centimeter or so since your were 17 and wish you hadn't?
You can't roll back the clock 5 years. Nor should you. You are a different person now. It's the 22-year-old you is going to college, the 17-year-old was somebody else.
Have you spoken to a therapist (or similar) about you body image concerns?
Original post by DataVenia
OK. So you "may have lost the weight that I have gained now to be honest" and "may or may not be thinner than how I was when I was 17". So this isn't really a weight issue. It's a height issue?! You've gained a centimeter or so since your were 17 and wish you hadn't?
You can't roll back the clock 5 years. Nor should you. You are a different person now. It's the 22-year-old you is going to college, the 17-year-old was somebody else.
Have you spoken to a therapist (or similar) about you body image concerns?
You can't roll back the clock 5 years. Nor should you. You are a different person now. It's the 22-year-old you is going to college, the 17-year-old was somebody else.
Have you spoken to a therapist (or similar) about you body image concerns?
I have spoken to an eating disorder therapist. I am underweight but I want to look like how I used to look when I was 17. Plus I am way over the age to do the course that I want anyway so I don't think I am going to go back to college.
Original post by Scotney
You need more therapy.Go back to your GP and ask to be referred to a psychotherapist.
My breasts even went fuller it's embarrassing even going back at my age
Original post by Anonymous
I obviously changed since I left college at 17 and I am now 22 and I most likely gained weight since then and even grew a tiny bit since then and I don't look like my 17 year old self. Is this a stupid reason to not do what I want?
1. Go to the gym.
2. Get your resources up.
3. Continue to self-improve and become the best version of yourself.
Original post by Scotney
We can tell you all day that no one else cares what you look like and no one can make you smaller but you are not going to take any notice.
I think I can accept my height actually, I don't look like a teddy bear like how I used to when I was 17, instead I look much worse (I look thinner) so it's fine I can accept it
Original post by Anonymous
I obviously changed since I left college at 17 and I am now 22 and I most likely gained weight since then and even grew a tiny bit since then and I don't look like my 17 year old self. Is this a stupid reason to not do what I want?
What do you want to do at college.
Original post by Scotney
What do you want to do at college.
Restart A Levels
Original post by DataVenia
OK. So you "may have lost the weight that I have gained now to be honest" and "may or may not be thinner than how I was when I was 17". So this isn't really a weight issue. It's a height issue?! You've gained a centimeter or so since your were 17 and wish you hadn't?
You can't roll back the clock 5 years. Nor should you. You are a different person now. It's the 22-year-old you is going to college, the 17-year-old was somebody else.
Have you spoken to a therapist (or similar) about you body image concerns?
You can't roll back the clock 5 years. Nor should you. You are a different person now. It's the 22-year-old you is going to college, the 17-year-old was somebody else.
Have you spoken to a therapist (or similar) about you body image concerns?
If I had the power, I would roll back the clocks 5 years.
Original post by Anonymous
Restart A Levels
What career are they for?
Original post by Scotney
What career are they for?
Not sure, I did English literature, maths and sociology. I did it to keep my options open and I will decide later what degree I want. I was thinking law or maths or English or sociology
Original post by Anonymous
Not sure, I did English literature, maths and sociology. I did it to keep my options open and I will decide later what degree I want. I was thinking law or maths or English or sociology
Have you got the offer of a place at college?
Original post by Scotney
Have you got the offer of a place at college?
No
Original post by Scotney
We can tell you all day that no one else cares what you look like and no one can make you smaller but you are not going to take any notice.
People do care, I know bullies who called me a "little sh*t" or "you need to get out of your own little bubble and think about other students" invalidating my own feelings and insulting my size
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