The Student Room Group

Relationships, may be besides the point of this website but I need help

Hi, me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years and we live together, we recently had a really bad time were we both kind of turned toxic against each other. He packed up his stuff last week and left to go live with his sister, he didn’t even let me know that he wanted to leave. I love him and even if our relationship had its bad stage I wanted to work through it. I’m really upset right now because he’s the only person I have in my life as all my friends moved away to other cities and my family doesn’t keep in touch with me. I am not financially able to afford the apartment we live by myself, it is also under his name and it makes me really sad living there because it was meant to be our new start. I texted him because I wanted answers. I am really confused on what I should do, because he kept saying he still loves me but he is confused whether he still wants to be with me as we are both unhappy. He’s been gone for a week, in this week I have been so depressed because he’s the first person in my life that ever took care of me, I didn’t eat or sleep, I got drunk and took sleeping tablets, I couldn’t get out of bed. I blame myself a lot because I know during our bad stage I was being stubborn and inconsiderate but so was he. I love him so much and I want to make it work, this week that he was away I did a lot of self reflection and realised all my mistakes and I want to improve on them. He keeps giving me these mixed signals saying doesn’t want to be with me until he sees that something will change and that we won’t argue anymore and that we will both be happy. We have been living together for a year, and he said that he will come see me so that he can see if there are any improvements but he said he does not want to live with me anymore. When I asked him for how long he said “I don’t know the contract ends in a year and we’d have to see from then”. I told him I was really upset because it seems like a huge set back. He said he’s not saying he will stay away for a year he’s just saying he will stay away until he’s sure thinks have improved as he has many doubts right now. I’m really hurt because he’s never left me like this before. I don’t understand how he wants to see if things will change because this whole week all he’s done is ignored me and barely answered any of my messages. He still says he will come visit me but I’m not sure I believe him because of all these mixed signals he’s sending me. I don’t want to try my best to fix our relationship if I’m gonna get my heart broken twice. I’m really scared as I have no where to go. He said he will keep paying for the apartment but I don’t even want to stay there alone because it makes me think of him. If there is any chance that we will be together I want to try and give it my best but I’m worried he’s just gonna change his mind as his answers are so unclear right now. Please give me some advice. I don’t want to work and go through all this pain if he’s just going to give up on me, I’ve tried to have a conversation with him but he looks confused himself. I just want this pain to stop and I feel like something needs to be resolved either bad or good because it’s making me so depressed I barely leave the bed. What adds to the situation is the fact that when he saw me earlier he kissed me and hugged me but his answers are still the same. I don’t want my heart being messed with because he’s confused and I’m not.

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