Self Image Problems

Once again, you're being excessively modest - you are not a weirdo and there is no point in blaming yourself for things that don't merit an apology of any kind. Iluvatar, I can think of several things I should be doing but I believe that relationships/humans come first. It was not wrong of you to post your problems on this site, after all, things should not be kept bottled up inside!

you just cant get over this can you?

I am a wierdo and proud of it ... but i shouldn't have started this thread, i'm just wasting everyones time.

how do you know?

I wish i knew how to change the way i am, but i don't.

But it's not a waste of time... People are social animals and so we all need support from other people from time to time. You shouldn't castigate yourself for doing something that should be done.

why do you have top change your fine how you are i dont want some tanned no brained idiot i just want you whatever happens

As other people have said, people come before anything else, which is why I'm back on here writing to you and trying and respond to your first post instead of doing other things. I don't feel obliged to, I want to.

I used to think the same as you in that it's a weakness to ask for help. I hated doing it. I used to think you should be able to cope with things on your own. However, circumstances around me changed, and I couldn't keep up. I don't want to go into here, because this isn't about me, but I eventually saw that asking for help is something that should be admired. It was so difficult to recognise that I needed support, because I couldn't see it myself. The reason I couldn't see it was because I was so wrapped up in what had actually happened, that I couldn't see the bigger picture, and how it was affecting everyone around me.

It takes an awful lot of guts to ask for help, especially if you're an independent, likes to help others type of person, which you appear to be.

I'm sorry that I haven't, nor anyone else on here seems to have been able to help that much. I'm not saying that you should go and get professional help, but what I am saying is sometimes you need an outsiders perspective. Don't close yourself off from people, I know from experience that it hinders rather than helps - even if you are a very private person.

Your first post says to me that you want to try and change your opinions of yourself. Now, you need to put the effort in, and if that doesn't work, then in my opinion, you need to have a chat with someone who knows a little more about this type of thing than any of us do. Nothing will change though without a lot of hard work on your part. It's got to come from you, and it'll be hard, but you've got to have the determination to get through it. Have faith in yourself and take care, x

Why though? Why would you want to help someone like me? Surely i don't deserve help if i'm not capable of sorting it out on my own.

I have to close myself off from people... i've learnt that... opening up to most people just leads to even more pain...

I want to change, thats why i posted at all. But i don't think talking to a professional will help me... i'm too stubborn for that really, and i'd be too tempted to try to wind them up (i've got a whole list of ways to wind up therapists) to take it all seriously.

Why though? Why would you want to help someone like me? Surely i don't deserve help if i'm not capable of sorting it out on my own.

I have to close myself off from people... i've learnt that... opening up to most people just leads to even more pain...

I want to change, thats why i posted at all. But i don't think talking to a professional will help me... i'm too stubborn for that really, and i'd be too tempted to try to wind them up (i've got a whole list of ways to wind up therapists) to take it all seriously.

Why though? Why would you want to help someone like me? Surely i don't deserve help if i'm not capable of sorting it out on my own.

How do you deal with problems in your own self image?

No point going to a threapist if you lie to them. What is it exactly you don't like about yourself (objectively, don't just say 'i'm a crap person etc etc')? If you want to change and feel there are lots of areas that need attention then you're best to focus at one thing at a time. What do you dislike most?

you dont have to close yourself of from people, you just have to find the right person to open up to, thats all.
ok, maybe dont see a professional, would be funny to wind them up tho!

Everyone needs help now and again. Sounds like you're really not coping, how about getting your friends to write down what they love about you and read it when you're feeling down?
I've got several letters from my best friend, we make a point of writing to each other every now and then just to boost each other as we both have confidence problems - she said my letters really helped her out of a serious period of bulimia and I know hers really help me.
Also, just sorting things out to look forward to, just for you, can make you feel like you're worth something more and force you to look after yourself.
Hope this helps,

well, if you're a horrible person, at least you realise and want to change [not that I think you're horrible]

but seriously, you need to be realistic about what you want to change about yourself. To a degree, you can alter how you look, and how you act, but not how you feel about yourself until you can pinpoint an issue that is upsetting you, and that you can tackle.