They completely despise me

Anon or delete please.

I am a black girl and my best friend is a jewish guy (let's call him bob) and we are extremely close. I invite him over to my house all the time and my family love him and treat him as their son. His family, however, are a different story.

They cannot stand me. I often make excuses not to go to his house just so that I don't have to face them. When I do go to his house, it is crystal clear that I am not wanted. They avoid all form of conversation with me, look at me like I am scum and the last time I was over at his house, I overheard his dad saying to his mum, 'I don't want bob spending so much time with that girl, she's not jewish so nothing good can come of their friendship.These blacks are all the bloody same.'

I have asked Bob on several occassions whether I have unintentionally done something to upset them and he just said it's one thing me being Christian but being black is just an added reason for them to dislike me. He told me that his dad thinks that all blacks are on benefits are violent thieves and aren't to be trusted.

I know the simple solution would be to just not go to his house but it is really having an effect on our friendship. We are such good friends but for some strange reason his parents cannot deal with that. I do not have any romantic feelings for him so if they are worried that he'll 'marry out' then they can put that idea to bed.

I've been avoiding him this past week as his dad gave him a massive lecture about 'me and my type' and I'd prefer if he didn't get into any more trouble because of me. :frown:

Have any of you experienced anything similar? If so, what did you do?What do you think I can do?

Thanks in advance guys.

Reply 1

AnonymousOne

That does suck :frown:

, it must be really hurtful. My two pence on things is that maybe you should just meet in more neutral places. In town, at the park, cinema, anything else that may be close to you? It isn't essential for a friendship to be able to go over to their house. I can see how it would upset you but maybe you should see his parents as a bit of a lost cause and simply avoid them. If you are good friends your friendship should definitely survive this.

Reply 2

fallen angel9

awwww Have a hug :hugs:

I once went round someone's house without them telling me their parents were racist, luckily they just didn't speak to me.

If I was in your position I just wouldn't go round Bob's house anymore and try and not let it affect your friendship. Unfortunately some people are just like that and there's nothing we can do about it.

Reply 3

User192499

15

Tell him to make sure his parents are aware that it is not a romantic or sexual relationship, that you are friends and they shouldn't judge you for your ethnicity, and that while he doesn't want to disgrace them, it is them acting shamefully, not him.

Reply 4

Noémie

17

racism is sucky.
i suggest that you tell your friend that it's not acceptable, you won't go to his house while this is going on, and you're upset that he hasn't stuck up for you. well, if that's true, that is.
for the meantime, just bascially live at your house instea do fhis!

Reply 5

amii_G

1

Unfortuantely, I don't think you can do much to change their racist views. You're just going to have to avoid going to his house and the parents. Hopefully it won't get in the way of your friendship.

Reply 6

Meenapixi

9

Anonymous

Anon or delete please.

I am a black girl and my best friend is a jewish guy (let's call him bob) and we are extremely close. I invite him over to my house all the time and my family love him and treat him as their son. His family, however, are a different story.

They cannot stand me. I often make excuses not to go to his house just so that I don't have to face them. When I do go to his house, it is crystal clear that I am not wanted. They avoid all form of conversation with me, look at me like I am scum and the last time I was over at his house, I overheard his dad saying to his mum, 'I don't want bob spending so much time with that girl, she's not jewish so nothing good can come of their friendship.These blacks are all the bloody same.'

I have asked Bob on several occassions whether I have unintentionally done something to upset them and he just said it's one thing me being Christian but being black is just an added reason for them to dislike me. He told me that his dad thinks that all blacks are on benefits are violent thieves and aren't to be trusted.

I know the simple solution would be to just not go to his house but it is really having an effect on our friendship. We are such good friends but for some strange reason his parents cannot deal with that. I do not have any romantic feelings for him so if they are worried that he'll 'marry out' then they can put that idea to bed.

I've been avoiding him this past week as his dad gave him a massive lecture about 'me and my type' and I'd prefer if he didn't get into any more trouble because of me. :frown:

Have any of you experienced anything similar? If so, what did you do?What do you think I can do?

Thanks in advance guys.

wow. and after alll the prejudice through out history that the jews have been through I would've thought that jewish people would be really accomodating and accepting of other races. Anyways thats awful hunny and I think the best thing is probably not to go to his place anymore, your friendship, if its strong enough can survive this. You just need to avoid his parents I guess and focus on being his friend and just trying to blank out his parent's awful thoughts and just concentrate more on your friendship and hopefully his parents will wake up one day and see the errors of their ways. But until then don't worry about them just keep your friendship strong and hope for the best :smile:

They completely despise me

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