I went out tonight to a social at my university. And not for the first time, i get rejected by a load of girls most of whom i wasn't even trying to do anything with. It's subtle, but i can feel the racism they have and especially the prejudices they hold against me.
I'm not a abnormal guy physically by any means. I was the same height as most of the guys there, lookswise i was better than a lot of the guys who got girls, i go to the gym regularly, everything else is perfectly fine.
This is what makes me wonder, i hold the same energy levels as the guy sitting next to me when a girl came over for a conversation. Yet, she keeps eye contact with him 90% of the time. And also, she initiates getting his phone number later. Now, this guy is no looker, he is only a bit taller than me too. So physically, it was pretty even.
I don't know what i did wrong tbh, because these girls who i didn't know (no one knew each other) looked at me like i was not worth anything... and that gets to my head. That i have nothing wrong with me , but there IS something wrong.
Now, maybe i have the wrong end of the stick. Maybe i just suck with women, but there is a big feeling that they dislike me because of my race (i'm Chinese by ethnicity, Northern origins). I got groped in the balls by some lesbian (as did a mate) but i didn't know if that was just banter. I just don't know and i hate this.
It hurts everytime i go out (i don't go out much because this always happens) and especially when i think about the girl i was in love with who was mixed race Chinese who wanted nothing to do with me because she only hung around white people (her words, i got her to admit it).