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Girls who sleep around?
Is it now socially acceptable for girls/women to regularly have sex outside of a committed relationship? Guys, would you be put off by going out with a girl who had a history of this?
How many people would a woman have to have slept with before say the age of 20 for it to be 'too many'?
One of my friends who is 18 has slept with about 15-18 different guys and the majority of them were boyfriends. She widely has a bad reputation for it and I think men think of her as being easy. But she doesn't seem to care. She has plenty of friends, and plenty of friends with benefits- if she wants sex, there is always someone she can see. She has got to the point where she would like a relationship but she still enjoys her life as it is now.
As for me, I've mostly been in long term relationships from the age of 13 (no sex) to 18, as it happens I've tended to go from one relationship to another just by chance, and yet somehow I also have a reputation as a 'slut' according to the girls at the girls school I went to. Somehow, having a boyfriend at a young age was 'slutty', although no one knew whether it was a sexual relationship or not. Now I'm single and this year (age 19), I've slept with more guys than I have before although 3 of them were boyfriends. I have seen 2 guys casually at uni and yet found myself agonising over if they're going to stop seeing me- and then I'd start seeing someone else and my 'number' would go up. Although I have not and would not have a one night stand, I find nothing wrong with safe, consensual, regular casual sex with someone you know.
So why do I feel so guilty when I think about it?? Why am I agonising over the number of people I've slept with? Do men ever feel like this or do they just feel good about it?
How many people would a woman have to have slept with before say the age of 20 for it to be 'too many'?
One of my friends who is 18 has slept with about 15-18 different guys and the majority of them were boyfriends. She widely has a bad reputation for it and I think men think of her as being easy. But she doesn't seem to care. She has plenty of friends, and plenty of friends with benefits- if she wants sex, there is always someone she can see. She has got to the point where she would like a relationship but she still enjoys her life as it is now.
As for me, I've mostly been in long term relationships from the age of 13 (no sex) to 18, as it happens I've tended to go from one relationship to another just by chance, and yet somehow I also have a reputation as a 'slut' according to the girls at the girls school I went to. Somehow, having a boyfriend at a young age was 'slutty', although no one knew whether it was a sexual relationship or not. Now I'm single and this year (age 19), I've slept with more guys than I have before although 3 of them were boyfriends. I have seen 2 guys casually at uni and yet found myself agonising over if they're going to stop seeing me- and then I'd start seeing someone else and my 'number' would go up. Although I have not and would not have a one night stand, I find nothing wrong with safe, consensual, regular casual sex with someone you know.
So why do I feel so guilty when I think about it?? Why am I agonising over the number of people I've slept with? Do men ever feel like this or do they just feel good about it?
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Don't feel guilty. As you say, there's 'nothing wrong with safe, consensual, regular casual sex with someone you know'. It's your business what you get up to privately; ignore people who judge. Only you have the full picture, and if you're happy who cares?
Definitely matters to some. If I had the option of someone who'd slept with 2 or someone who'd slept with 10 I'd pick the former any day.
By 20 its not necessarily the number though, its the circumstances. Yours sound ok.. not great, but ok.
By 20 its not necessarily the number though, its the circumstances. Yours sound ok.. not great, but ok.
Original post by mosmof
I'm sorry, but you are a dictionary definition of slag.
I really don't understand how! Surely that would mean being promiscuous?
I have never seen 2 men (or more) at the same time, or cheated on a boyfriend.
I honestly don't think girls can win, unless they don't have sex at all (and then they're criticised for being frigid).
Original post by Anonymous
I really don't understand how! Surely that would mean being promiscuous?
I have never seen 2 men (or more) at the same time, or cheated on a boyfriend.
I honestly don't think girls can win, unless they don't have sex at all (and then they're criticised for being frigid).
I have never seen 2 men (or more) at the same time, or cheated on a boyfriend.
I honestly don't think girls can win, unless they don't have sex at all (and then they're criticised for being frigid).
that is all well and good; however typically men have to try so hard for sex, when woman can just click their fingers and they get it. you are easy... and that you have slept with a lot of guys too supports this. once a slag, always a slag. you have a bad reputation now..
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by mosmof
that is all well and good; however typically men have to try so hard for sex, when woman can just click their fingers and they get it. you are easy... and that you have slept with a lot of guys to supports this
Yeah okay, that would make sense- but someone has to shag the 'slag', meaning men are getting as much sex as women.
I like sex, and I do have a lot of it- I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of. Go ahead and do what makes you happy, and don't let a couple of inexperienced and insecure TSRers tell you any differently. If a guy wants to dismiss you for your sexual history, then he's childish and pathetic and obviously not the guy for you.
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by mosmof
that is all well and good; however typically men have to try so hard for sex, when woman can just click their fingers and they get it. you are easy... and that you have slept with a lot of guys too supports this. once a slag, always a slag. you have a bad reputation now..
Actually, I didn't say I'd slept with a lot of guys- I didn't say that once.
I said how many my friend has slept with.
My number is under 10 (way under 10).
And a woman clicking her fingers and getting sex is bull****. You still have to meet someone avaliable, attractive and looking etc. And since a woman is not expected to make the first move, you have to wait until someone makes a move on you.
Besides, a woman could always be incredibly picky with her sexual partners and still end up sleeping with a high number over a number of years. Just because she's not monogamous doesn't mean she's promiscuous.
Original post by lechaton-x
Yeah okay, that would make sense- but someone has to shag the 'slag', meaning men are getting as much sex as women.
I like sex, and I do have a lot of it- I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of. Go ahead and do what makes you happy, and don't let a couple of inexperienced and insecure TSRers tell you any differently. If a guy wants to dismiss you for your sexual history, then he's childish and pathetic and obviously not the guy for you.
I like sex, and I do have a lot of it- I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of. Go ahead and do what makes you happy, and don't let a couple of inexperienced and insecure TSRers tell you any differently. If a guy wants to dismiss you for your sexual history, then he's childish and pathetic and obviously not the guy for you.
I wouldn't really call it childish or pathetic .....
Original post by lechaton-x
Yeah okay, that would make sense- but someone has to shag the 'slag', meaning men are getting as much sex as women.
I like sex, and I do have a lot of it- I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of. Go ahead and do what makes you happy, and don't let a couple of inexperienced and insecure TSRers tell you any differently. If a guy wants to dismiss you for your sexual history, then he's childish and pathetic and obviously not the guy for you.
I like sex, and I do have a lot of it- I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of. Go ahead and do what makes you happy, and don't let a couple of inexperienced and insecure TSRers tell you any differently. If a guy wants to dismiss you for your sexual history, then he's childish and pathetic and obviously not the guy for you.
that is true, but the girl might have sex with 10 different people. i.e they have sex once, she has it 10 times with 10 different people if you understand my principle?
anyway, you do meet the criteria of a slag and when you want a relationship it will be hard because of your past.
Original post by mosmof
that is true, but the girl might have sex with 10 different people. i.e they have sex once, she has it 10 times with 10 different people if you understand my principle?
anyway, you do meet the criteria of a slag and when you want a relationship it will be hard because of your past.
anyway, you do meet the criteria of a slag and when you want a relationship it will be hard because of your past.
Do tell us the criteria of a slag?
Poster before only said that she had a lot of sex- not a lot of sex with a lot of different people.
And why does a girl even have to tell a potential boyfriend her number of sexual partners in the past? It says nothing about who she was, who she is now or how she feels about this person. It just says she likes sex. And if a woman says she doesn't like sex, there is either something physically wrong with her, she has only had bad sex, or shes lying.
Original post by Anonymous
And a woman clicking her fingers and getting sex is bull****. You still have to meet someone avaliable, attractive and looking etc. And since a woman is not expected to make the first move, you have to wait until someone makes a move on you.
a woman just has to look at some guy she likes and he'll come over. everyone knows women get sex easy and men dont.
i would say a slag is someone who is easy, sleeps with a lot of people within days/weeks etc.
and it would nice to know a partners past, would it not? if you approve of it so much, why would you be reluctant to share your past?
You like sex, I don't see a problem with it. As long as you are safe and happy, then do what you like. Don't know why other people seem to care so much tbh!
Original post by mosmof
that is true, but the girl might have sex with 10 different people. i.e they have sex once, she has it 10 times with 10 different people if you understand my principle?
anyway, you do meet the criteria of a slag and when you want a relationship it will be hard because of your past.
anyway, you do meet the criteria of a slag and when you want a relationship it will be hard because of your past.
Good, I'll be a slag then.
I hope your inexperienced girl gives good hea-
Oh wait, there isn't even an inexperienced girl in your life is there?
Original post by mosmof
a woman just has to look at some guy she likes and he'll come over. everyone knows women get sex easy and men dont.
i would say a slag is someone who is easy, sleeps with a lot of people within days/weeks etc.
and it would nice to know a partners past, would it not? if you approve of it so much, why would you be reluctant to share your past?
i would say a slag is someone who is easy, sleeps with a lot of people within days/weeks etc.
and it would nice to know a partners past, would it not? if you approve of it so much, why would you be reluctant to share your past?
I'd look at a guy he liked and he might come over- but I wouldn't sleep with him just like that. I'd have to know him properly and spend time with him properly even if he didn't want anything serious.
I only see one person at a time. Even though there is no exclusivity I don't feel the need to see anyone else. So am I slag just because we're not in an exclusive relationship?
I just don't think girls should have to worry about the number of sexual partners they have had scaring a boy off. Men don't have to consciously think "maybe I shouldn't sleep with her and her and her because eventually a girl will ask me how many people I've slept with and it will be a problem".
I'll be totally honest here with my opinion I don't find girls who sleep around attractive at all and it's actually a real turn off if I hear one of my girl friends talk about how many guys she has been with and how show it off like an achievement I'd be disappointed and lose my respect for her. At the end of the day guys want to find a nice girl who will preserve some dignity and hold back maybe, if you say you've been with x-amount of guys it makes the guy seem really inexperienced and will not think you're someone who he could being around to the family to.
Ofcourse do what you want you're still young and want to try many things but I'm just talking IMO.
Ofcourse do what you want you're still young and want to try many things but I'm just talking IMO.
So ok let me get this straight...
Basically, oh, and correct me if I'm wrong. Basically you want us to give you an appraisal of your life and define to you whether the result portrays you as...'slutty' or 'socially respectable'..
The notion I got from your statement is that you didn't agree with those girls who called you those degrading names. I think that you would your time would be better spent looking for the right option by yourself, rather than be so inscessantly co-dependent and ask for our opinion..
Basically, oh, and correct me if I'm wrong. Basically you want us to give you an appraisal of your life and define to you whether the result portrays you as...'slutty' or 'socially respectable'..
The notion I got from your statement is that you didn't agree with those girls who called you those degrading names. I think that you would your time would be better spent looking for the right option by yourself, rather than be so inscessantly co-dependent and ask for our opinion..
(edited 13 years ago)
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