okay to get my guy friend with a girlfriend a present?

hey everyone just need your help :smile:

so i have this lovely friend who happens to be a guy now he has been so good to be the past few months now we don't hang out cause i don't want him to think i'm asking him out but i see him everyday more or less at work, so i was thinking of asking him over to my house to give him a present, nothing too special just some small gifts..

is that inappropriate cause he has a girlfriend? it's just if he was one of my girl mates i would do the same :smile:

do you think its okay for me to give him gifts and invite him over? do you reckon he would think i'm asking him out?

Thank you :smile:

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

bump

any advice anyone..thanks :smile:

Reply 2

Sakura-Chan

20

Buy him a present, but give it to him at work instead of inviting him to yours. It's the latter that would bother me, if I were in his girlfriend's shoes.

Reply 3

.Scout.

14

Of course it's not innapropriate. Girls and guys can be friends without having feelings for each other...!
My best friend who happens to be male and have a girlfriend; got me chocolate body paint, alcohol and a sex tips book as part of my present. Slightly weird, but it means nothing as it's strictly platonic!

Reply 4

Climbontoyourseahorse

9

You'd buy any other close friend a present, so why is he different? And just because he has a girlfriend it doesn't mean you can't continue your friendship as normal. I think he'd be silly to think that you're asking him out, but if he does, he should be flattered. Maybe he's got ulterior motives if he jumps to that conclusion? If you're that good friends, his level of respect for you should make him realise that you wouldn't go after a guy with a girlfriend. Stop worrying about coming across as more than friendly - I'm sure his girlfriend has male friends. If you really haven't got feelings for him, then you've nothing to worry about.

Reply 5

Arekkusu

16

Original post by .Scout.

Of course it's not innapropriate. Girls and guys can be friends without having feelings for each other...!
My best friend who happens to be male and have a girlfriend; got me chocolate body paint, alcohol and a sex tips book as part of my present. Slightly weird, but it means nothing as it's strictly platonic!

Same, I'm getting a friend a vibrator for Christmas, apparently. I think she's probably always fancied me, mind you.

Reply 6

ithoughtofthis

2

Don't invite him over alone though... I wouldn't be too pleased about that If I were his girlfriend.

As been said, Guys and Gurls can be mates an all. But when he has a girlfriend, you have limits/boundaries :smile:

Good luck though

Reply 7

.Scout.

14

Original post by ithoughtofthis

Don't invite him over alone though... I wouldn't be too pleased about that If I were his girlfriend.
As been said, Guys and Gurls can be mates an all. But when he has a girlfriend, you have limits/boundaries :smile:

Good luck though

WHAT? Why...?!? I seriously don't see the problem with this. With my best male friend we ALWAYS spend time alone together, whether it's just watching films, shopping or going out for a drink. Hell, he even sleeps over. I don't see why, because of our different genders why this is frowned upon. Some girls need to stop being so paranoid.

Reply 8

armageddonbride

8

Fine to buy the present, not the asking him over though. And if you're not really close friends, perhaps don't make the gift too extravagant or anything that could be taken as a romantic gesture (stereotypical stuff like jewellery, etc)

Reply 9

ithoughtofthis

2

Original post by .Scout.

WHAT? Why...?!? I seriously don't see the problem with this. With my best male friend we ALWAYS spend time alone together, whether it's just watching films, shopping or going out for a drink. Hell, he even sleeps over. I don't see why, because of our different genders why this is frowned upon. Some girls need to stop being so paranoid.

Yeaah...whats your point though? Most girls I know are nothing like what you've described, to be quite honest. I appreciate that its fine with you to do that, but thats not how it generally works.

I for one wouldn't be over the moon if my boyfriend went and slept over at a girl mates house often. I'm not paranoid or insecure at all, its just generally an uncomfortable situation. He can chill with girl mates, hell yeah, he has his own life... but as I said, with relationships come commitments and boundaries/limits also.

Anyway OP, you don't want to come across as sending the wrong message. If you know you two are so close enough for you to be able to pull that off then fine, if not then I see no harm in just giving him the present at work or something?

Reply 10

joey11223

20

Original post by .Scout.

WHAT? Why...?!? I seriously don't see the problem with this. With my best male friend we ALWAYS spend time alone together, whether it's just watching films, shopping or going out for a drink. Hell, he even sleeps over. I don't see why, because of our different genders why this is frowned upon. Some girls need to stop being so paranoid.

Although I agree with your viewpoint not everyone sees it the same way, although people try and be trusting there is often a nagging paranoia. It's a tad unfair if the partner and their friend have known each other long before the relationship starts but that's the way it is with most people.

Reply 11

Riso

9

Original post by joey11223

Although I agree with your viewpoint not everyone sees it the same way, although people try and be trusting there is often a nagging paranoia. It's a tad unfair if the partner and their friend have known each other long before the relationship starts but that's the way it is with most people.

I agree.
I used to walk around holding hands with my male best friend when I was a single pringle. Now I'm with my partner I've completely stopped that though, not just because being affectionate with another male feels odd, but out of respect for my partner. There are boundries and limitations with a relationship that have to be respected. It's natural to be jealous of your boyfriend's female friends, we can't help it.

To the OP - do you really have to invite him round to your house to give it to him? It sounds a little seedy. Just give it to him at work :smile:

Reply 12

Crazy Paving

17

Just give it to him at work. It's probably easier anyway.

Reply 13

HumanNature1992

13

If you're fitter than his GF then no, otherwise yeah because of the lack of threat you would impose. :smile:

Reply 14

member520746

For sure, I give all my female friends a present even if they have boyfriends. Some guy told me that giving his girlfriend an empty box with a hole in it that my penis was peeping through was inappropriate but I told him he was just being possessive.

Reply 15

jordz

8

Definitely, there shouldn't be any qualms.

okay to get my guy friend with a girlfriend a present?

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