My boyfriend doesn't seem to care about me enough to please me
I really care about my boyfriend. I love being with him. I know he cares a lot about me too, but not as much as I want him to or as much as I care about him. It is only a lot of small things, but they are starting to build up: he won't check his emails for ages even though he knows I've sent him one, when I always can't help but check mine immediately; he acts really affectionately in private, but then behaves towards me just like I'm anyone else when there are others around; and loads of things that in themselves seem barely worth mentioning, but are starting to grate on me.
I spend time on facebook browsing through other couples' pictures and stuff, just being jealous of those lucky people who seem to have boyfriends who don't mind being openly affectionate, and who actually want to see their girlfriend without prompting and that sort of thing. I am sure he cares about me, he just doesn't seem to show it.
But whenever I mention it, I feel like I'm nagging or being unreasonable for wanting more than he is willing to give. Then things get better for a little while, but then they always descend again. How do other boyfriends act? Am I being unreasonable? What should I do?
I spend time on facebook browsing through other couples' pictures and stuff, just being jealous of those lucky people who seem to have boyfriends who don't mind being openly affectionate, and who actually want to see their girlfriend without prompting and that sort of thing. I am sure he cares about me, he just doesn't seem to show it.
But whenever I mention it, I feel like I'm nagging or being unreasonable for wanting more than he is willing to give. Then things get better for a little while, but then they always descend again. How do other boyfriends act? Am I being unreasonable? What should I do?
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Original post by Roo Bix
What has been his reaction when you've confronted him about it? He sounds immature with the whole 'he acts differently around others' statement.
What has been his reaction when you've confronted him about it? He sounds immature with the whole 'he acts differently around others' statement.
He's more attentive for a while, but then it always lapses.
Original post by Anonymous
He's more attentive for a while, but then it always lapses.
Lapses?
Original post by Roo Bix
Lapses?
Goes back to how it was before.
Original post by Roo Bix
What has been his reaction when you've confronted him about it? He sounds immature with the whole 'he acts differently around others' statement.
What has been his reaction when you've confronted him about it? He sounds immature with the whole 'he acts differently around others' statement.
Nonsense. Some people dont like being intimate in public. Kissing, holding hands all the time. Some guys find it a bit cringey and ott.
Not immaturity at all, i dont get off with my gf in public much because i wouldnt like to see a couple all over eachother either
Original post by Anonymous
I spend time on facebook browsing through other couples' pictures and stuff, just being jealous of those lucky people who seem to have boyfriends who don't mind being openly affectionate, and who actually want to see their girlfriend without prompting and that sort of thing. I am sure he cares about me, he just doesn't seem to show it.
Do you seriously expect him to be like that? I hate plastering icky comments like "I love you bbbabbbezz xxxxxx" all over facebook. If I wanted to show affection I would do it when it was just me and her, when its more private and meaningful. I think you need to not worry as much about facebook.
I still don't understand why guys like him get girlfriends, when there are plenty of nice guys who are more deserving of relationships, yet have to wait longer for one. Who's fault is it? The guys or the girls? As a lass, I'll blame other girls.
Then again, if you're being too affectionate, that can be annoying. I wouldn't like it, nor would I like feeling I have to say how much I like you on a daily basis. I should be guy...
Then again, if you're being too affectionate, that can be annoying. I wouldn't like it, nor would I like feeling I have to say how much I like you on a daily basis. I should be guy...
Original post by Anonymous
I really care about my boyfriend. I love being with him. I know he cares a lot about me too, but not as much as I want him to or as much as I care about him. It is only a lot of small things, but they are starting to build up: he won't check his emails for ages even though he knows I've sent him one, when I always can't help but check mine immediately; he acts really affectionately in private, but then behaves towards me just like I'm anyone else when there are others around; and loads of things that in themselves seem barely worth mentioning, but are starting to grate on me.
I spend time on facebook browsing through other couples' pictures and stuff, just being jealous of those lucky people who seem to have boyfriends who don't mind being openly affectionate, and who actually want to see their girlfriend without prompting and that sort of thing. I am sure he cares about me, he just doesn't seem to show it.
But whenever I mention it, I feel like I'm nagging or being unreasonable for wanting more than he is willing to give. Then things get better for a little while, but then they always descend again. How do other boyfriends act? Am I being unreasonable? What should I do?
I spend time on facebook browsing through other couples' pictures and stuff, just being jealous of those lucky people who seem to have boyfriends who don't mind being openly affectionate, and who actually want to see their girlfriend without prompting and that sort of thing. I am sure he cares about me, he just doesn't seem to show it.
But whenever I mention it, I feel like I'm nagging or being unreasonable for wanting more than he is willing to give. Then things get better for a little while, but then they always descend again. How do other boyfriends act? Am I being unreasonable? What should I do?
If it's any consolation, you've just described my three year relationship to a T.
Original post by Astra_K
Nonsense. Some people dont like being intimate in public. Kissing, holding hands all the time. Some guys find it a bit cringey and ott.
Not immaturity at all, i dont get off with my gf in public much because i wouldnt like to see a couple all over eachother either
Not immaturity at all, i dont get off with my gf in public much because i wouldnt like to see a couple all over eachother either
That is fair. But it is important to let your girlfriend know that you're together, especially as OP is questioning his care for her.
Original post by Roo Bix
Lapses?
Negged for asking a question
Original post by Roo Bix
That is fair. But it is important to let your girlfriend know that you're together, especially as OP is questioning his care for her.
Why do you need to reassure the public you are a couple? As long as he gets intimate with her in private, i dont see the problem.
My ex used to literally hug my arm at the checkout in shops and stuff, in my head i wanted to shake her off, like a dog chewing my sleeve, i felt VERY uncomfortable when she did that, it was ott in public
Original post by Astra_K
Why do you need to reassure the public you are a couple? As long as he gets intimate with her in private, i dont see the problem.
My ex used to literally hug my arm at the checkout in shops and stuff, in my head i wanted to shake her off, like a dog chewing my sleeve, i felt VERY uncomfortable when she did that, it was ott in public
My ex used to literally hug my arm at the checkout in shops and stuff, in my head i wanted to shake her off, like a dog chewing my sleeve, i felt VERY uncomfortable when she did that, it was ott in public
No, not the public, her.
Original post by Astra_K
Why do you need to reassure the public you are a couple? As long as he gets intimate with her in private, i dont see the problem.
My ex used to literally hug my arm at the checkout in shops and stuff, in my head i wanted to shake her off, like a dog chewing my sleeve, i felt VERY uncomfortable when she did that, it was ott in public
My ex used to literally hug my arm at the checkout in shops and stuff, in my head i wanted to shake her off, like a dog chewing my sleeve, i felt VERY uncomfortable when she did that, it was ott in public
I highly, highly doubt you mean 'literally'.
Original post by fizzywizzy525
I highly, highly doubt you mean 'literally'.
Nope, literally. Not a very tight hug, but a loose one. I hated it.
you know what you deserve better. i know its hard because you are scared of losing him all together, but you could be with someone else who would give you the care you deserve. i would confront him about it, and if he gets nasty about it then ditch him because he obviously doesnt care about your needs. i know how it feels and i had to do the same thing about 4 months ago and it was the best decision i made.
how long have you been together??
how long have you been together??
Original post by Astra_K
Nonsense. Some people dont like being intimate in public. Kissing, holding hands all the time. Some guys find it a bit cringey and ott.
Not immaturity at all, i dont get off with my gf in public much because i wouldnt like to see a couple all over eachother either
Not immaturity at all, i dont get off with my gf in public much because i wouldnt like to see a couple all over eachother either
Exactly this! What is the need to kiss in public? Most people do not want to see it and if he does not feel comfortable doing so surely you should respect that?
I am quite like your boyfriend and yes the odd hug or peck is fine but cut him some slack, those couples all over each other in public make me cringe.
i think he's just trying not to seem needy,this is natural we all do this
i dont know what to suggest for a solution other than deliberately trying to embarrass him in public......(yes i do come up with odd solutions) regardless this is obviously an act as he is willing to express himself in private. - you arent being unreasonable......but nor is he.
i dont know what to suggest for a solution other than deliberately trying to embarrass him in public......(yes i do come up with odd solutions) regardless this is obviously an act as he is willing to express himself in private. - you arent being unreasonable......but nor is he.
I only just recently discovered why I never showed public affection with my ex and it was because I was embarrassed of him. Call me a bitch, but I really felt that he wasn't up to my standards hence I did not want to be associated with him in public.
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