sick of being told i'm quiet :(

when people say this it knocks me even more, and makes me feel even worse!

i don't get how people say to fake confidence?

how can i just be louder and more chatty ?? i don't know how to make myself like that

Reply 1

a_t

16

What I do is, whenever I have a chance to be as loud as I can and scream as much as I want, say at somewhere like a concert, a football match, or a really loud night club, I seize it and lose control and let myself be free in the moment.

Everyone else is shouting and screaming in such scenarios, so take your chance when you can and seize it, it could be a good first step for you?

Reply 2

vpsycho

7

Just initiate conservation more with the people you like. Then work your way up to the people you would like to know more about.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

i'm like that... i feel inadequate when attention is on me, just want to get out
there's nothing wrong with being the listener :smile:

every time i try to be loud/chatty i tell myself to never do so again because im scared ill say something stupid or sound weird
although it's gotten easier with age :smile:

Reply 4

MR BOGGINGS

Being quiet is a massive handicap, since a really quiet person may as well be an inanimate object, and what distinguishes a human from an inanimate object - PERSONALITY!

Don't be afriad to show your personality.

You wouldn't bring a box along to a social occasion, why should they bring you along?

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Original post by MR BOGGINGS

Being quiet is a massive handicap, since a really quiet person may as well be an inanimate object, and what distinguishes a human from an inanimate object - PERSONALITY!

Don't be afriad to show your personality.

OP might not always be quiet... i mean, some people need time/trust in the other person to open up
like me, im awkward around strangers but completely opposite around my friends, my "comfort group" :smile:

Reply 6

Drumzilla

6

I think the reason most people are quiet is that they over=think things and analyse what they are going to say before they try and say it , the best advice is don't worry about what you're going to say and the possible consequences etc... Just say it.

Reply 7

Manchestergraduate

Original post by Anonymous

when people say this it knocks me even more, and makes me feel even worse!

i don't get how people say to fake confidence?

how can i just be louder and more chatty ?? i don't know how to make myself like that

just don't be quiet then... what is the worst that can happen? (sorry for the dr Pepper reference!)

Real advice - You can't fake confidence, it just doesn't work like that. You will become more chatty and confident if you become a happier person. It might take a while but just take it slowly. Life is about doing things that make you happy - do these things.

A happy person = a confident person = a chatty person

(this all sounds terribly cheesy but it has been a long day!)

Also, don't change yourself. Again, this does not work. You can't change yourself - find out what your strengths are and the things you like about yourself. How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 8

Da Bachtopus

12

hipflask. you can even get the reputation of a charming eccentric who drizzles a little whisky into everyone's coffee :smile:

Reply 9

thegryphon

Original post by Da Bachtopus

hipflask. you can even get the reputation of a charming eccentric who drizzles a little whisky into everyone's coffee :smile:

I carry around a flask even if I'm super confident, so yeah...

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

i'm like that... i feel inadequate when attention is on me, just want to get out
there's nothing wrong with being the listener :smile:

every time i try to be loud/chatty i tell myself to never do so again because im scared ill say something stupid or sound weird
although it's gotten easier with age :smile:

yeah i'm fine around my friends. i find i never tend to talk about myself much which is maybe part of the problem, as i think no one will want to listen to it. i also don't really like having loads of eyes on me while i'm talking, makes me feel a bit self-conscious. i also worry i might sound/say silly things too.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Da Bachtopus

hipflask. you can even get the reputation of a charming eccentric who drizzles a little whisky into everyone's coffee :smile:

haha. drink does make me feel more relaxed and talkative, but not really a fulltime solution!

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Manchestergraduate

just don't be quiet then... what is the worst that can happen? (sorry for the dr Pepper reference!)

Real advice - You can't fake confidence, it just doesn't work like that. You will become more chatty and confident if you become a happier person. It might take a while but just take it slowly. Life is about doing things that make you happy - do these things.

A happy person = a confident person = a chatty person

(this all sounds terribly cheesy but it has been a long day!)

Also, don't change yourself. Again, this does not work. You can't change yourself - find out what your strengths are and the things you like about yourself. How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

i'm 22. i never really felt this way before, i think it's because in my recent job everyone is so outgoing and loud. i'm just v laidback, so i don't ever really feel the need to be all loud and stuff.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

i suppose i also worry what people think of me a bit too much

Reply 14

CookieDoughLove

18

I don't see why you get offended by people saying you are quiet to be honest. If you are quiet then how do you expect people to see you otherwise? Chances are, if they are saying you are quiet, then you are quiet. How exactly can that hurt someones feelings? Some people are loud, some people are quiet :dontknow:

Reply 15

Steezy

15

Original post by Anonymous

when people say this it knocks me even more, and makes me feel even worse!

i don't get how people say to fake confidence?

how can i just be louder and more chatty ?? i don't know how to make myself like that

Sorry? Didn't catch that....

Reply 16

mare?

11

Original post by Anonymous

how can i just be louder and more chatty ?? i don't know how to make myself like that

Doesn't work like that.. if you don't feel like talking with people then don't. You have to learn not to care

Reply 17

The.Night.Watch.Woman

Original post by Anonymous

i suppose i also worry what people think of me a bit too much

Be yourself - don't worry about how others perceive you. Be a quiet person if you are a quiet person - I'm often reserved but underneath I'm confident. Quietly confident can be good sometimes.

Find confidence in yourself, tell us all in this thread some of your good qualities - we all have good qualities as well as bad! Are you.. intelligent? Tall? Funny? What's good about yourself? Start thinking positively :biggrin:

Reply 18

SARAHANN92

There's nothing wrong with being quiet, sometimes really loud people can be a bit annoying! Especially if you've got a headache! No offence meant to anyone else though! Just be yourself! Don't try and fake anything. :smile:

Reply 19

Mrcontroversy

7

Original post by Anonymous

when people say this it knocks me even more, and makes me feel even worse!

i don't get how people say to fake confidence?

how can i just be louder and more chatty ?? i don't know how to make myself like that

dont worry...i was just like u back in my school days....well it is a part of who you are...and dont be embarrassed about it....

well i got rid of that through my job ...which was more client facing...and to be honest...i am now pretty good at it than the ppl who used/tght they were good orators.

I am sure you will find your way out someday too.. :smile:

sick of being told i'm quiet :(

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