Virgin or non virgin, what do you want in a relationship.

So at what point in the dating process do you ask a potential wife how many sexual partners she's had before you?

Quite frankly, I have seldom had a man ask that question of me. It's generally considered bad manners, you know.

I disagree with you. People can, do and I know, have changed. Difficult it may be but if your afraid of a challenge then thats a different problem itself. You assumed that people only cheat when things get bad, why? Some people cheat in a happy relationship/marriage for no obvious reason and with no fault in their past sexual history, what generalized explanation do you give for that?

I don't like generalization, things like this do not come 'one size fits all'. As for statistics, then like any evidence, they also come with several methodological drawbacks and sometimes are only give a limited insight in to matters.

I won't be judging how faithful someone is to me, based on how faithful or unfaithful they have been in the past. Others might, but thats just not me. If I were advising a friend, I would not change my opinion, if they ask for it, I will of course be honest and say judge the person on who they are now and what they believe would be best for them but ultimately, it is their decision - they can weigh up the pros and cons for themselves.

So at what point in the dating process do you ask a potential wife how many sexual partners she's had before you?

Quite frankly, I have seldom had a man ask that question of me. It's generally considered bad manners, you know.

And yet you assume that I'd have the slightest bit of interest in you when you use my past to decide if we have a future

Well, first you need a romantic place. I've done, graveyard, msn late at night, moonlit hill. Then you flirt with her for an entire evening then take her there. You then have a deep discussion on everything romantic and tell each other everything about yourself. It's generally during that point, though I normally pick up stuff before that so I know what to ask.



They do change, but not often.

I assumed that because a lack of emotional intimacy is one of the most common reasons to cheat, according to statistics. I don't know of any cases where someone had no history of being a player and had excellent emotional intimacy (or sexual intimacy, whatever is emotional for you) with their partner and cheated. You only get chances to cheat if you flirt with other people and if you have no history of that you wouldn't have many chances.

Of course, exceptions often validate the rules more strongly. I would be quite interested to see any case histories of such.



The world may not be one size fits all, but you can make a pretty good guess.



Yeah. So, this is why I have a strong disbelief in your argument. If you know someone has cheated in every relationship they've been in during the past you have to really, really hate generalizations to not advise your friend that he might do what he has done ten times before again. As such, I don't especially trust your opinion on promiscuity and faithfulness.

Then you have been dating pussioles lol. I don't even consider a relationship valid until i know the dealio, and guess what......a bad reaction is just as indicative of sluttery as an honest high answer. It depends on the situation but As a general rule If she refuses to tell or reacts badly, then write her off totally, shes even worse than a girl who would happily give an honest high number.

Virgin females are surprisingly open about these things, and won't hesitate to let you know how few guys they have slept with.

You don't think cheating is a predictor of future cheating. Love isn't forever, herpes is. I wouldn't say why I was leaving you, but I would.

Your assumption is your opinion and your experience. I know of many people that have had no history of cheating, sleeping around or intimacy problems that have cheated on their partner.

I don't particularly care for whether you trust my opinion or not. Just because it differs from yours, does not make it invalid.

Cite, give an example. What happened, their self confessed reasons, and the relationship status.



It's not so much that my opinion differs from yours, it's just that your opinion makes the assumption that something is likely to happen ten times in the past and then not happen this time. It's based on assuming actions have no consequences. That is an incredibly emotional view, and while it may make you good at being a friend it's not rational.

Just the opposite. In my experience, the only men who tend to ask are men who aren't that confident sexually and they want to know that they won't be compared to many other men. The ones who are sexually confident know that they're good enough that it doesn't matter how many other men she's been with.

Also, younger men like yourself tend to care about these things much more than older men. It goes along with the confidence thing.

When I'm not on an internet forum arguing to avoid doing mind numbing revision I hate, I'm quite seductive. I've had fairly high success rates with getting women to be attracted to me. I'm quite happy with my social skills.

Of course, we might not click, and that's great. We both get what I want. You can sleep with lots of men till you stop being attractive enough to do so, and I can find someone reliable who I can be with for the rest of my life.

Example: Someone I know from school, went through an exteremely hard time at school and had family issues. Got kicked out of school in year 10 and went downhill from there. Sleeping around, several different boyfriends - some cheated on them, others they cheated on, moved from house to house etc. Reason = didn't know how else to live or a different way of life away from it all, they thought if they didn't hurt someone, then someone would hurt them first. Current status = in a relationship for 4 and a half years currently, living together with their fiance, with a stable job and are planning to get married.

I get that this may not be the case for everyone, but without giving someone like them a chance to change, how can you ever know them without lifting them away from their previous lifestyle?
My opinion is that if something has happened ten times in the past, whilst it may happen again, I choose not to let this affect my relationship with that individual. It's not so much emotional or irrational, its just about giving everyone a chance and accepting that no one is going to be perfect throughout their life.

Want a medal?

How old are you? You seem pretty young and naive. I never ask guys how many people they've slept with - at this age I assume pretty much every guy is a non-virgin.

So because I've had pre-marital sex, I'm only ever gonna be good for one thing? And when I lose my looks I'm gonna be alone forever, meanwhile you with all your charm and lack of sexual experience are going to live happily ever after? Get real. When you've got a bit more life experience, you'll come to realize that there's way more important things in life than your number of sexual partners.

Actually, being insecure with yourself would be a reason to accept less than they want. You may have very specific likes but unless you're very secure in your ability to convince people of that sort to be with you, you'll settle for less.

It'll often be based on anecdotal data.

This poll assumes you have the choice- would you then prefer to go for someone with 1 past sexual partner, or 20? Would someone telling you about their past lovers make you tingly because they had now chosen you, or would someone telling you that you were their first make you tingly because they had chosen you?

3. I already realize that. My life experiences have taught me that sexual activity is a pretty good predictor of behaviour, however. I've been with enough people to realize that. I prefer the simple life to the insanity that is highly promiscuous people.

Where's your sense of adventure, passion, drama, intensity? All the fun things...

Been there, got the t shirt, got the scars.

Literally, actually. She was kinky.

Meh guess it depends on different people, personally I couldn't be with someone who was very...predictable and reliable. I'd find it boring, I need someone who's creative, spontaneous, emotionally intesnse, flamboyant etc, but some people would run a mile at that.

I don't think you'll ever get an answer to whether it's better to be a virgin or not tbh, it's going to be one of those subjective topics.