The Student Room Group

20 and sick of being a virgin

okay, so here's thing. I met a guy at a club. We danced and kissed for a while and you wouldn't believe but he was actually kind of a nice, decent guy eventhough it's typically not that kind of a place to find them. So the story is that after that day I texted him if he's interested in meeting me. He told me yes, but he also said that he doesn't want to do a relationship yet, because he only just broke up (two months ago) with his ex-girlfriend..anyway, I agreed, met him and did some things with him at his place that I, to be honest don't regret because he was caring, and respectful eventhough he also knew that I was a virgin. However, I felt like I wanted to do more with him but I just couldn't do it...I'm 20 and I know I'm young and virginity is basically a 'value' in today's society but I kind of feel like I'm trapped and an experience like this for the first time with an experienced guy who I can trust could help me..I'm also using tinder and meeting people but it's not really easy to find someone or your other half and I also know myself. It takes a lot of time too and I don't want to blink and be a 30-year-old virgin.. I just don't know what to do, what do you guys think?
Reply 1
Don’t rush yourself. If you want to do something do it, if you don’t, don’t.
Whatever you do must be on your terms!
(I like how you look down on the quality of people in clubs, yet go straight to Tinder, the near slimeiest place for cheap sex possible :wink: )
Reply 3
i don't look down on them, there are ofc exceptions, it's just based on my personal experience and on the clubs here in my country. and not everyone is using tinder for sex🧞*♀️
Just keep doing what you’re doing. Keep meeting people, learn how to judge their character and motivations and don’t compromise on your dealbreakers.
Reply 5
(edited 9 months ago)
Reply 6
What's your issue with being a virgin at 20? Or even 30? There's no timescale to having sex.
Reply 7
I think having your first experience with someone you can trust to be respectful and kind is more important than 'when' you have it. Whether at 20, 25 or 30, the focus should be on who you have this experience with. If you think this guy is someone you won't regret; then, what's the problem? Your hesitation makes me wonder what other issue is bothering you. If you aren't 100% sure you want to go all the way with him, then, just wait and see how you feel about him in a few months. There's no need to rush. Life is not a race.

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