I'm depressed for most of my time at uni, thinking of dropping out :/

Hi all, sorry for the long post, but I really don't know what to do...

Basically, I'm in Winchester, ranked 70th, I'd rather of gone to a higher ranking one but I only decided I want to go to university 2 months before my exams so now I'm having to come here.

When I got here it was OK, but every day I keep feeling more and more depressed to the point I just want to go home. I've not gone out much here, of my 7 nights I've been out 3 times. I'm not one for clubbing. I'm an introvert, I need time to myself to recharge my batteries, and it seems as if everyone has just assumed I'm an anti-social person and don't bother with me. The societies here are rubbish aswell. So I have no one to talk to and I feel just miserable and lonely. :frown:

I'm bored here, there's nothing to do, no one to talk to, and when I see friends saying what an amazing time they're having at their uni, I just feel more depressed.

I hate my accommodation. Our cooker, kitchen table and kettle has broken. My bathroom floods everytime I take a shower. We get no phone signal unless we stand at a window or go outside. We get no TV reception. My window is broke and won't shut either. All the housing department do is say 'fill out a form', but nothing ever gets done.

I go to lectures with an attitude of not wanting to bother because I hate it and I hate my time here. The thought of doing book reports is one I'd rather not do. I really miss home too.

I think about going home, but then I think, "What can I do at home?". I could go back to college for another year, that's if they're still accepting people, but most of my college friends have gone off to uni and another year of education is one I'd soon rather forget. I didn't really have loads of friends back home, I'd spend most of my life at home doing nothing productive, but went out occasionally. And as for jobs, there's nothing in my home town apart from working in shops. I don't want to go into the armed forces and apprentices I don't want to do as I hate manual labour.

I have no idea what to do. :frown:

Any advise? :frown:

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 1

username297802

Hey, I'm in the same position as you so I know how you feel :smile:

I only decided I wanted to go uni about 2 months before we had to send of the ucas applications. I thought I would love living away but because I come from quite a large family (I have 4 siblings) I miss them so much. I dont want to drop out because I don't want them to be disappointed in me as they were making such a big fuss over me being the 1st person to go to uni in our family. I also feel that if I go back home, what will I do with my life :s-smilie:

I hoping I will change how I feel soon but I doubt it :s-smilie:

Reply 2

chronic_fatigue

I also sent off my application about a week before the deadline.If you don't like your housemates don't bother with them, I would also ignore what your friends say about having a good time there are many people who don't and it is nothing to be ashamed of. You should try the daytime events to make friends, try to talk to people on your course before you get into the lecture theatre. You might talk to them once then never really see them again but it is worth a shot. I suggest that you don't go home too often because you don't get into a good routine or settle in as fast.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 3

tsr-member

A lot of people feel like this during the first few weeks of university.

Don't feel like you're "anti-social" because you don't like going out! A misconception of university is that everybody should be partying all the time and going mental.. then when people aren't having a "crazy time" they get a bit depressed as to why. Everyone's university experience is different and there isn't a good or bad.

First of all, in social terms, what are your flatmates like? Even if they're into partying and you're not, you can still all be friends. ..or if they're just a bit rubbish, you can still find friends in your block, other than your flatmates! Uni's full of different people so I guarantee there'll be like-minded students!

Are you sure the societies are all "rubbish"? ..or is the negativity in you perceiving that? If you've had an awful time in your flat, and awful time in your lecture, chances are you'll be seeing everything negatively.
I'd suggest you give the societies another shot! Find one you're interested in, go to one of the events with an open mind, and generally see what it's like! I went to about 3 sessions of my university's debating society, found some friends, and now they're like my closest ones!

Also, don't be fooled by friends from home bragging about their universities! Chances are, they've spent a week getting completely w*nkered, taken lots of energetic photos solely for Facebook, and thus assume that their time at university is "F*CKING MENTAL!!11!1!".

And finally, about your flat... to be honest, I can't believe they haven't done anything about it yet, after you filled out the form. Perhaps just keep pestering them. If you have a Student Services building, keep going there and tell them that you can't cook or shower or shut your window and you're generally in "un-liveable conditions". They should at least relocate you into another flat until the problems are fixed!

I'm not suggesting you actually stay in university but I'd say, give it another week or two. Try being like you were on your first day - go with an open-mind and see if you can give Winchester another shot.

If not, then don't worry about it - drop out. If you don't want to go through another year of college - don't! Get a job for a few months, go into college just for re-sits in order to up your grades, re-apply through UCAS, and spend the money you earnt in the year to go travelling somewhere nice in the Summer. Then just wait to start university in Sept. 2012 at somewhere you'd enjoy more!

:h:

Reply 4

Jooe

'Lets all go down the Winchester' Who's ****ing idea was that??

Reply 5

chocoholic.

Original post by Jooe

'Lets all go down the Winchester' Who's ****ing idea was that??

Shaun of the dead :smile:

Reply 6

Odette

Hey,

I go to Winchester as well, it is a small uni and I've had trouble finding a society that would be my thing. I would definitely agree that making an effort to be friendly to people in your lectures is worth it. As this is probably your best shot at meeting people who like they same sorts of things as you.

Not everyone gets put in a nice flat of people, in fact I think its rare to be lucky enough to be put with people you are similar to. Try to be friendly to them, but if they aren't making the effort back - just forget them they are not worth it.

In terms of societies, like i said I haven't found one yet. There do seem to be very few which is a shame :frown:

. The swimming pool is really nice in town though, and only £1.65 for students.

Don't worry if you haven't settled in yet, it takes a while and everyone's they same in finding it hard even if they hide it well! :wink:

Reply 7

zoobow

Okay. But dogs CAN look up! ) It's normal to think it's **** ) give it time, try online dating )

Reply 8

thor-erica

I'm in your same position..
Actually I come from Italy and I have to add to all your problems that I don't know perfectly the language and in Scotland it's quite difficoult to understand all the different accents. :s-smilie:

But...what to do? I think that we should be positive and hope that everything will change soon! and we will all be happy, with friends! Don't you?

Reply 9

joelkay

Then again think of the reason you went to university, to get a degree and broaden your career options for the future, making friends is of course important but it is not imperative! get your degree and make some money. Friends will come

Reply 10

Kronic

My flatmates are nice and we get on, don't me wrong. It just seems that if they're doing something they don't ask if I want to go because they'd think I'd just say, 'no'.

I can't go to day events either, Winchesters freshers week was terrible, crap. They had freshers for a 4 days and that was it, and the events were crap in the day, such as 'Wine and chocolate tasting', 'make up classes' and 'dance studios'. I didn't want to do any of that. :s-smilie:

On the societies part, I only managed to see half of them, I didn't notice they had stalls set up in another building. But the ones in there I heard about were pretty naff, such as a radio society, the ones I saw were ones for anime or warlocks. I'm not into any of that stuff.

I'm not being fooled by peoples facebook photos, it's just when I talk to them, or their facebook status'. They all say they've having an amazing time and love every minute of it.

Our block is getting maintenance done on it next week and the satellite is being repaired this Saturday, so that will all be fine next week.

And the only reason I decided to get a degree was because I have nothing else to do. It was either this or find a job in morrisons or somewhere like that. I'm not good with manual labour. My town is a dead end. :frown:

I phoned up my mum and she said if I wanted to come home I can.

:frown:

I'm so lost at the moment.

Reply 11

ben05

I no exactly how you feel! I'm so homesick too, spent the first couple of nights on the phone to my mum crying. I've been really ill and just want to go home. Lucky for me I only live in Poole, so going to go home each week, and seriously considering commuting next year. Its not that I dislike my course, i love that, its just i have been very homesick. I only have one other housemate as no one seemed to have moved into the other rooms (i'm in queens) so it was very lonely the first few nights. It has got better though as I just keep thinking to myself I will spend 4 days here, 3 days at home. Don't worry i'm sure many people are in the same situation as you and it will get better once you get into your course (unless you truely hate that). I hope this helps xxx

Reply 12

Kronic

Original post by ben05

i'm in queens

At winchester? What flat?

Reply 13

j2s0n

You won't drop out. It's harder than you think giving up. Even if you don't make any friends, sooner or later it will be Christmas and time will have flown by and you'll be back at home for a few weeks.

When you're experiencing the loneliness it goes on forever, but when you look back you can barely remember it.

I've learned than time really does just go on, no matter how you're feeling. It's a concept you think you understand because it (obviously) makes sense, but you don't fully appreciate until you're forced into the corner.