Feeling homesick at university
I just moved into my uni accommodation yesterday and I'm really struggling. I've moved into halls and two girls in my flat are in Third year and there's two who are in first year, but I'm doing a foundation year. One of the girls going into first year moved in the same day as me and I've really been trying to talk to her and become friends but I feel like I'm always shut down. She's really lovely, but she never wants to hang out or do anything and so I'm left in my accommodation at night with nothing to do. This is my second night and as I'm typing this I am in floods of tears yet again because I feel so so homesick. My dad is staying in a hotel nearby and I've spent the last two days with him, but as soon as he leaves at the end of the night I just cry uncontrollably and I want to drop out. The thought of staying here makes me feel so so sick and so depressed. I can hear people outside of my window having a good time and partying etc, but I have no flat mates or friends who want to. All of my flatmates just stay in their rooms. My dad keeps telling me how envious he is of me going to uni and how he wishes he did so I know I can't drop out. If I drop out, I'd also have to pay 8 grand for my accommodation still. Does anyone have any tips at all? I really do want to enjoy it here and have a good time but I'm finding it so incredibly hard.
Original post by Anonymous
I just moved into my uni accommodation yesterday and I'm really struggling. I've moved into halls and two girls in my flat are in Third year and there's two who are in first year, but I'm doing a foundation year. One of the girls going into first year moved in the same day as me and I've really been trying to talk to her and become friends but I feel like I'm always shut down. She's really lovely, but she never wants to hang out or do anything and so I'm left in my accommodation at night with nothing to do. This is my second night and as I'm typing this I am in floods of tears yet again because I feel so so homesick. My dad is staying in a hotel nearby and I've spent the last two days with him, but as soon as he leaves at the end of the night I just cry uncontrollably and I want to drop out. The thought of staying here makes me feel so so sick and so depressed. I can hear people outside of my window having a good time and partying etc, but I have no flat mates or friends who want to. All of my flatmates just stay in their rooms. My dad keeps telling me how envious he is of me going to uni and how he wishes he did so I know I can't drop out. If I drop out, I'd also have to pay 8 grand for my accommodation still. Does anyone have any tips at all? I really do want to enjoy it here and have a good time but I'm finding it so incredibly hard.
Hey, I haven't moved to university yet - I move in October 1st
Don't worry being homesick is very normal! I am sorry your flat mate keeps shutting you down. I have tried messaging some people at the university before I go and I have definitely spoken with people like that. I wish everyone would be open to making friends but some are just not you're type of person and that's perfectly ok. You will find better people, I promise!
A lot of people are trying to make friends right now, both online and in-person at university. But, even if it seems like it, there are no groups yet! I know it can seem daunting but you have to just have to put yourself out there even if it makes you feel awkward at first. Speak to those next to you in lectures, compliment people, ask a group of people if you can join them at a table or something (they will probably say yes because everyone is looking to make friends), there might be some events at the campus going on you can join, you might be able to befriend someone in the flat next door or above / below you. you can definitely make some good friends if you're offering free sweets or biscuits etc.
I'm planning to find a group of people that I can play card games with. Your goal with people is to find someone with a common interest and use that as footing to get to know them
You'll meet all sorts of people and I know outgoing can be hard but it will pay off!
It is so tough. You have done so well to express this. Totally understand how you feel.
Your dad needs to understand how you feel though. Can you explain to him how difficult it can be starting at university? My daughter's father never went to university and he tries to pressure her into never coming back to her home town unless it is end of term (well-meaning but not what she needs). Despite this, she knows that she can visit me when she wants - I have made that clear. She makes her own judgement when she needs to visit home as far as I am concerned.
Are you close enough to visit home later, if you need to, to cope (different people respond in different ways to home visits).
When you start your course try really hard to reach out to others as much as you can. Join as many societies as you can. Come on here as well if that helps. A lot who connect now will be sick of each other by the end of the year. It is very early days. Course friends and societies are the way to go. Don't hold back. The advice above is good.
Your dad needs to understand how you feel though. Can you explain to him how difficult it can be starting at university? My daughter's father never went to university and he tries to pressure her into never coming back to her home town unless it is end of term (well-meaning but not what she needs). Despite this, she knows that she can visit me when she wants - I have made that clear. She makes her own judgement when she needs to visit home as far as I am concerned.
Are you close enough to visit home later, if you need to, to cope (different people respond in different ways to home visits).
When you start your course try really hard to reach out to others as much as you can. Join as many societies as you can. Come on here as well if that helps. A lot who connect now will be sick of each other by the end of the year. It is very early days. Course friends and societies are the way to go. Don't hold back. The advice above is good.
(edited 7 months ago)
Original post by Cote1
It is so tough. You have done so well to express this. Totally understand how you feel.
Your dad needs to understand how you feel though. Can you explain to him how difficult it can be starting at university? My daughter's father never went to university and he tries to pressure her into never coming back to her home town unless it is end of term (well-meaning but not what she needs). Despite this, she knows that she can visit me when she wants - I have made that clear. She makes her own judgement when she needs to visit home as far as I am concerned.
Are you close enough to visit home later, if you need to, to cope?
When you start your course try really hard to reach out to others as much as you can. Join as many societies as you can. Come on here as well if that helps. A lot who connect now will be sick of each other by the end of the year. It is very early days. Course friends and societies are the way to go. Don't hold back. The advice above is good.
Your dad needs to understand how you feel though. Can you explain to him how difficult it can be starting at university? My daughter's father never went to university and he tries to pressure her into never coming back to her home town unless it is end of term (well-meaning but not what she needs). Despite this, she knows that she can visit me when she wants - I have made that clear. She makes her own judgement when she needs to visit home as far as I am concerned.
Are you close enough to visit home later, if you need to, to cope?
When you start your course try really hard to reach out to others as much as you can. Join as many societies as you can. Come on here as well if that helps. A lot who connect now will be sick of each other by the end of the year. It is very early days. Course friends and societies are the way to go. Don't hold back. The advice above is good.
I'm 5 hours away from home and the only reason I came this far was because my boyfriend is moving near here (about a 40 minute train away) I just don't feel like it's worth it though, I just prefer being at home. My boyfriend isn't moving into uni until next week and one of my friends is moving into uni about 40 minutes away in a different direction. I also have a friend from college moving into her accomodation tomorrow so I'm unsure as to whether or not I should wait it out to see if it gets better when I have people I know surrounding me? I'm on groupchats for my accommodation and my course and I've asked people if they want to go out but I just get ignored. My dad wants me to go, but he also gets emotional about leaving me which makes me feel emotional and like I just want to go home with him
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 5 hours away from home and the only reason I came this far was because my boyfriend is moving near here (about a 40 minute train away) I just don't feel like it's worth it though, I just prefer being at home. My boyfriend isn't moving into uni until next week and one of my friends is moving into uni about 40 minutes away in a different direction. I also have a friend from college moving into her accomodation tomorrow so I'm unsure as to whether or not I should wait it out to see if it gets better when I have people I know surrounding me? I'm on groupchats for my accommodation and my course and I've asked people if they want to go out but I just get ignored. My dad wants me to go, but he also gets emotional about leaving me which makes me feel emotional and like I just want to go home with him
You are doing so well trying to connect with people and it's a shame nobody is responding. They are probably caught up in the experience of the first days.
Give it more time.
(edited 7 months ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I just moved into my uni accommodation yesterday and I'm really struggling. I've moved into halls and two girls in my flat are in Third year and there's two who are in first year, but I'm doing a foundation year. One of the girls going into first year moved in the same day as me and I've really been trying to talk to her and become friends but I feel like I'm always shut down. She's really lovely, but she never wants to hang out or do anything and so I'm left in my accommodation at night with nothing to do. This is my second night and as I'm typing this I am in floods of tears yet again because I feel so so homesick. My dad is staying in a hotel nearby and I've spent the last two days with him, but as soon as he leaves at the end of the night I just cry uncontrollably and I want to drop out. The thought of staying here makes me feel so so sick and so depressed. I can hear people outside of my window having a good time and partying etc, but I have no flat mates or friends who want to. All of my flatmates just stay in their rooms. My dad keeps telling me how envious he is of me going to uni and how he wishes he did so I know I can't drop out. If I drop out, I'd also have to pay 8 grand for my accommodation still. Does anyone have any tips at all? I really do want to enjoy it here and have a good time but I'm finding it so incredibly hard.
Go to freshers and join group chats aswell as societies/clubs and you'll make friends easily as those are places where others are also looking for friends/people to hang out with
Original post by Anonymous
Hey, I haven't moved to university yet - I move in October 1st
Don't worry being homesick is very normal! I am sorry your flat mate keeps shutting you down. I have tried messaging some people at the university before I go and I have definitely spoken with people like that. I wish everyone would be open to making friends but some are just not you're type of person and that's perfectly ok. You will find better people, I promise!
A lot of people are trying to make friends right now, both online and in-person at university. But, even if it seems like it, there are no groups yet! I know it can seem daunting but you have to just have to put yourself out there even if it makes you feel awkward at first. Speak to those next to you in lectures, compliment people, ask a group of people if you can join them at a table or something (they will probably say yes because everyone is looking to make friends), there might be some events at the campus going on you can join, you might be able to befriend someone in the flat next door or above / below you. you can definitely make some good friends if you're offering free sweets or biscuits etc.
I'm planning to find a group of people that I can play card games with. Your goal with people is to find someone with a common interest and use that as footing to get to know them You'll meet all sorts of people and I know outgoing can be hard but it will pay off!
Don't worry being homesick is very normal! I am sorry your flat mate keeps shutting you down. I have tried messaging some people at the university before I go and I have definitely spoken with people like that. I wish everyone would be open to making friends but some are just not you're type of person and that's perfectly ok. You will find better people, I promise!
A lot of people are trying to make friends right now, both online and in-person at university. But, even if it seems like it, there are no groups yet! I know it can seem daunting but you have to just have to put yourself out there even if it makes you feel awkward at first. Speak to those next to you in lectures, compliment people, ask a group of people if you can join them at a table or something (they will probably say yes because everyone is looking to make friends), there might be some events at the campus going on you can join, you might be able to befriend someone in the flat next door or above / below you. you can definitely make some good friends if you're offering free sweets or biscuits etc.
I'm planning to find a group of people that I can play card games with. Your goal with people is to find someone with a common interest and use that as footing to get to know them
You'll meet all sorts of people and I know outgoing can be hard but it will pay off!Thank you so much for this! I'm gonna give it some time and see if I make some friends. Freshers week starts tomorrow so I'll go to some of the events and I think I'll sign up for some societies
Original post by Anonymous
I just moved into my uni accommodation yesterday and I'm really struggling. I've moved into halls and two girls in my flat are in Third year and there's two who are in first year, but I'm doing a foundation year. One of the girls going into first year moved in the same day as me and I've really been trying to talk to her and become friends but I feel like I'm always shut down. She's really lovely, but she never wants to hang out or do anything and so I'm left in my accommodation at night with nothing to do. This is my second night and as I'm typing this I am in floods of tears yet again because I feel so so homesick. My dad is staying in a hotel nearby and I've spent the last two days with him, but as soon as he leaves at the end of the night I just cry uncontrollably and I want to drop out. The thought of staying here makes me feel so so sick and so depressed. I can hear people outside of my window having a good time and partying etc, but I have no flat mates or friends who want to. All of my flatmates just stay in their rooms. My dad keeps telling me how envious he is of me going to uni and how he wishes he did so I know I can't drop out. If I drop out, I'd also have to pay 8 grand for my accommodation still. Does anyone have any tips at all? I really do want to enjoy it here and have a good time but I'm finding it so incredibly hard.
That’s rough but tough it out the I don’t quite know what to call them my uni called them “angels” should be around on the Sunday night once everybody has moved in and will take you out on a welcome night thing (it’s often quite messy) so that should help you get to know people in your halls or other halls. Then once freshers week starts you’ll meet people on your course and there is also the freshers fair which will be how you find out about all the different clubs and stuff and there are so many you can join and a lot have taster secessions so you can try something you haven’t done before but always wanted to try or continue a sport or something you like or try something that you haven’t even seen before. To quote Stewie Griffin “give it the old collage try”. If after let’s say 6 weeks things still haven’t got any better maybe dropping out should be something you consider. Does your Dad know your struggling maybe you should tell him he might be able to help even if he just listens it can help to talk it out. I know it’s tough right now but thing’s haven’t really started yet. I will just say this uni isn’t for everyone and you can get a good job without a degree.
Good luck and I hope things get better for you soon.
(edited 7 months ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I just moved into my uni accommodation yesterday and I'm really struggling. I've moved into halls and two girls in my flat are in Third year and there's two who are in first year, but I'm doing a foundation year. One of the girls going into first year moved in the same day as me and I've really been trying to talk to her and become friends but I feel like I'm always shut down. She's really lovely, but she never wants to hang out or do anything and so I'm left in my accommodation at night with nothing to do. This is my second night and as I'm typing this I am in floods of tears yet again because I feel so so homesick. My dad is staying in a hotel nearby and I've spent the last two days with him, but as soon as he leaves at the end of the night I just cry uncontrollably and I want to drop out. The thought of staying here makes me feel so so sick and so depressed. I can hear people outside of my window having a good time and partying etc, but I have no flat mates or friends who want to. All of my flatmates just stay in their rooms. My dad keeps telling me how envious he is of me going to uni and how he wishes he did so I know I can't drop out. If I drop out, I'd also have to pay 8 grand for my accommodation still. Does anyone have any tips at all? I really do want to enjoy it here and have a good time but I'm finding it so incredibly hard.
Hi there
Sorry to hear that you are homesick at University. I understand that it can be a scary environment at the start, especially if you do not know anyone at University. However, I think that you have only been there for two days, and there is a lot that will change over the weekends when more people start arriving on campus.
At University, you are free to make friends with anyone (regardless of which year of their studies they are in). I think fresher's week is next week (depending on your University), and this is the time where you are most likely to meet friends.
Have a look at societies and go to their events. Most people going to societies will have similar interests to you and you could get along with them better.As with flatmates, you do not really need to force yourself to be friends with them. Most of last year, I found that I barely saw my flatmates around as they often stayed over at others' places. I would recommend having a look at your University's welcome page, or student union website. They often host networking events during the first few weeks so you can get to meet new people.
Take your time to settle in, and go to events at your own pace.
I am sure you will meet friends over the past few weeks. Take it easy and things will work out! 
Hope this helps.
Chloe
-University of Kent Student Rep
Original post by Anonymous
I just moved into my uni accommodation yesterday and I'm really struggling. I've moved into halls and two girls in my flat are in Third year and there's two who are in first year, but I'm doing a foundation year. One of the girls going into first year moved in the same day as me and I've really been trying to talk to her and become friends but I feel like I'm always shut down. She's really lovely, but she never wants to hang out or do anything and so I'm left in my accommodation at night with nothing to do. This is my second night and as I'm typing this I am in floods of tears yet again because I feel so so homesick. My dad is staying in a hotel nearby and I've spent the last two days with him, but as soon as he leaves at the end of the night I just cry uncontrollably and I want to drop out. The thought of staying here makes me feel so so sick and so depressed. I can hear people outside of my window having a good time and partying etc, but I have no flat mates or friends who want to. All of my flatmates just stay in their rooms. My dad keeps telling me how envious he is of me going to uni and how he wishes he did so I know I can't drop out. If I drop out, I'd also have to pay 8 grand for my accommodation still. Does anyone have any tips at all? I really do want to enjoy it here and have a good time but I'm finding it so incredibly hard.
I am in the exact same situation omg
Hi Anon,
I want to start by saying you're definitely not alone, and that it's normal and okay to feel homesick. If you feel you keep getting shut down by the girl you're trying to befriend, you can either ask her about it directly or maybe just move on and try and find friends elsewhere. Societies are a great way to meet new people and have fun, and that may help distract you from your homesickness.
I also understand how those conversations with your dad can make you feel unable to drop out, and while I'd urge you to stick with it a while longer and try some new strategies to make friends and so on, I wouldn't let what he's saying stop you from dropping out if you decide that's the best course of action. I'm sure he'd understand, as while he may be envious his first priority is your wellbeing. Do try and get yourself stuck in to a society or two, it's first week so loads of people are in the same boat as you, and you might find some people to share your struggle with.
Best of luck,
Courtney H
I want to start by saying you're definitely not alone, and that it's normal and okay to feel homesick. If you feel you keep getting shut down by the girl you're trying to befriend, you can either ask her about it directly or maybe just move on and try and find friends elsewhere. Societies are a great way to meet new people and have fun, and that may help distract you from your homesickness.
I also understand how those conversations with your dad can make you feel unable to drop out, and while I'd urge you to stick with it a while longer and try some new strategies to make friends and so on, I wouldn't let what he's saying stop you from dropping out if you decide that's the best course of action. I'm sure he'd understand, as while he may be envious his first priority is your wellbeing. Do try and get yourself stuck in to a society or two, it's first week so loads of people are in the same boat as you, and you might find some people to share your struggle with.
Best of luck,
Courtney H
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Coping With Homesickness as a Student
- Homesick/Struggling at uni in 3rd Year?
- can you defer entry to uni after you’ve started first term
- Worried about University distance from home.
- Moving very far away for Uni
- university of edinburgh
- Learn the Essential 'Student Life' Skills: Everything from Laundry to Cooking.
- Bad day every other day - Uni vs Mental Health
- University
- how often to come home from uni?
- homesickness
- Going home from uni for the first time
- No Friends at Uni - International Student
- Advice to people starting University
- Extreme sadness missing my family in 2nd year of University
- I’m feeling unsure about my Clearing uni…
- advice for someone who's dropped out of uni and wants to go back
- students life
- Uni
- what is it like moving out?
Latest
Trending
Last reply 3 weeks ago
Got a third in my second year and the highest I’ve achieved in third year was 55%Trending
Last reply 3 weeks ago
Got a third in my second year and the highest I’ve achieved in third year was 55%
