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Do guys go for plain looking girls because they are scared to go for the pretty ones?

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Reply 40

R4INBOW

how do you differentiate between the two?

Reply 41

Michaelj

Original post by nicatre

Meh. I can only speak of experience and observation.

A guy is going to find the girl he approaches pretty/attractive in one way or another.

Exactly. Even an average looking girl will have a level of attractiveness. Why go for a super hot girl who everyone finds attractive when you can have an average looking girl who is attractive nonetheless?

Reply 42

CJKay

Original post by R4INBOW

how do you differentiate between the two?

I don't think anybody could tell you that, but if you had a load of photos the chances are most of us would be able to do it.

Reply 43

RachelFiveee

Maybe the attractive girls are more fussy? Also it depends on the individual as tho who is plain and who isn't so the question is pretty much void. However if you are single and someone has said that it is because you are too pretty that men are intimidated, then carry on believing that if it makes you feel better :tongue:

Essentially people appear more attractive to different people, perhaps there are less 'pretty' girls about, so the amount that are single are in proportion but seems more as there are fewer of them, and not every girl wants a relationship so trying to explain why some people are single based on looks is silly. If you meet a man who likes you he will go out with you, if you do not then you will be single.

Reply 44

MancBoy

Original post by Anonymous

Guys always talk about the really pretty girls, but end up going for the plain ones.

Girls do this too.

Reply 45

sugarmouse

In my experience men tend to think 'hot' girls are there for fun and sex and the plainer looking ones are there for when relationships and security are needed.
There are assumptions made about very pretty girls (or very good looking men!) -that they're flighty, fun seeking, high maintainence, casual about love-particularly if they are the sorts of people to play up their looks and wear make up/tight clothes etc.

And yes insecurity is a factor for definite.
A lot of hot girls, even if they play up their looks and accentuate them with clothes and make up, don't think they're as hot as others think they are. If a man feels intimidated and doesn't approach her, he could be missing out. :smile:

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 46

Anonymous #1

Original post by Michaelj

Exactly. Going for the plain girl is the easier option so a guy is not going to bother going for a stunning girl who everyone is going to be attracted to. Since most guys are plain as well, an plain looking girl is good enough for them to be attracted to.

Reply 47

Anonymous #1

Original post by sugarmouse

In my experience men tend to think 'hot' girls are there for fun and sex and the plainer looking ones are there for when relationships and security are needed.
There are assumptions made about very pretty girls (or very good looking men!) -that they're flighty, fun seeking, casual about love-particularly if they are the sorts of people to play up their looks and wear make up/tight clothes etc.

And yes insecurity is a factor for definite.
A lot of hot girls, even if they play up their looks and accentuate them with clothes and make up, don't think they're as hot as others think they are. If a man feels intimidated and doesn't approach her, he could be missing out. :smile:

The bit in bold is just an excuse guys use to explain why they won't go for the stunning girls. It's embarrassing for guys to admit that they are intimidated by pretty girls.

Reply 48

sugarmouse

Original post by Anonymous

The bit in bold is just an excuse guys use to explain why they won't go for the stunning girls. It's embarrassing for guys to admit that they are intimidated by pretty girls.

Maybe with a lot-but I don't think with all. The amount of men who've tried to use me for a night to get over their ex or to upset their girlfriend after an argument (they've never managed it).

Reply 49

I am Ace

The stunners are intimidating to most guys, because men generally tend to judge a woman (before getting to know them obviously) by their looks, so the hotter, the more valuable she is.
So it's a high risk; high reward thing.
Plain girls are much less intimidating so we feel less intimidated talking to them because we think they'll be less bitchy than hot girls, which can be true but is not always the case.
But all this talk is pointless, the only way to find out is to try it for yourself!
Go out at night into town with your girl friends, looking as plain as possible.
Then go out all dolled up and compare results :smile:

Reply 50

samleigh

A few of the prettiest girls I know genuinely don't realise how hot they are. So when guys try and hit on them they brush it off as the guys taking the mick. This gives them a bit of an air of not being approachable.

As someone else mentioned, some men have the attitude that 'hot girls for sex, plain girls for relationships' and this puts lots of my pretty friends off guys that hit on them - they don't want to just be used for sex which is all they assume guys who talk to them are after.

Reply 51

Millie228

There is definitely an intimidation factor for most men. Asking a girl out is difficult enough in itself, and if they know a woman is so attractive that she's asked all the time, is being approached by very confident men (who know to talk to women), it's going to be harder. They may also think that as she's beautiful, she's only going to date men who are also good-looking, rich etc.

It really differs from man to man. I know a guy who gained confidence in his mid to late twenties and is now sort of "making up for" what he felt like he missed out on when he was younger. He's very visual and want a future wife to be a 9 or a 10. He also goes for it - he will approach the most attractive women he can find. A lot of men would obviously love to date a 9/10, but they don't want to make the effort to approach.
A guy I know once said that if he ever got a woman who's a 10, he'd feel like she was out of his league and he'd be always looking over his shoulder to see if some alpha guy was going to snag her. So yes, there is the insecurity factor.
The most "popular" guys I know (rich, successful etc.) are all with very beautiful women. However I think it takes more of a man, so it's usually the very ambitious ones who have the confidence to pull it off.
A woman I know who's a relationship counselor once said that "beautiful women have to try harder". What she meant was that a lot of men can be insecure or not confident enough to 'pursue' them the way they pursue other women, so you need to give more positive reinforcement and make sure the guy knows you're into.

I totally disagree that most men think "hot girls" are for fun, not relationships. First of all, the sluttiest women are usually the less attractive than average, so the chances of getting casual sex with a beautiful woman is low (http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2013/02/12/hookinguprealities/the-most-attractive-women-have-the-least-casual-sex/ )
Secondly, how "slutty" a woman is regarded, is not down to how hot she is. It's down to (partly) how she's dressed, how she behaves, if she drinks a lot, swears, stay out till 4, hits on men etc.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 52

Jaegon Targaryen

"that might be why a lot of better looking girls are single! They expect more from a relationship."

Am I the only one around here who doesn't see this in every day life ?

At my college of about 2000 students there are about 10 absolute stunners that most people agree are the fittest girls in the college . In the first days of AS the amount of times these girls got approached was absolutely ridiculous , it was clear that they were fit and no one thought otherwise. About 6 of them have boyfriends , and the others choose to be single.

If a truly beautiful girl is single , then I can assure you its her choice to be so ... I really doubt that they don't get approached , its probably more so that the guys who approach them don't meet their super high standards so they wait out with hopes that a prince charming will come along .

Another possible reason is because some girls and guys who are above average looking assume that because they are so beautiful they dont need to work on their personalities or other likeable charactersitics at all . Guys are aesthetic creatures , it is known . But there comes a point in a mans life after he matures , when a man would rather have a girlfreind with a good personality then a horrible one .

Sorry to quote you directly red ferry but its just to make a point.

Reply 53

Profesh

No: I 'go' for very pretty girls who have an almost fetishistic predilection towards ginger hair.

Reply 54

Jaegon Targaryen

Original post by MancBoy

Girls do this too.

You think a girl is going to reject a male who is a 9 to get with a male whos a 6/7 ? I dont think so ...

Girls have the power to choose , naturally they will choose the higher ranking male , in terms of looks , wealth , confidence etc .

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 55

Anonymous #1

Original post by justinawe

Could you maybe post pics of girls you would consider to be "plain" as well as "pretty"?

I'm not going to use pictures of people I know obviously, and it's more difficult with celebrities as most of them are not plain, but this is what I could find...

I'm sure most guys think Jessica Alba is prettier than Julia Stiles, but in reality (if they weren't celebrities), who would they go for?

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Reply 56

Anonymous #1

Original post by sugarmouse

Maybe with a lot-but I don't think with all. The amount of men who've tried to use me for a night to get over their ex or to upset their girlfriend after an argument (they've never managed it).

I agree that guys may want to use pretty girls to annoy their girlfriends and things like that. But I don't think any guys genuinely think that pretty girls are not suitable for reliationships and plain girls are. I think that is an excuse because guys don't want to admit they're scared.