Ladies, would you ever "submit" to a man?

What about the women who don't mind submitting to their husbands, and choose to do so?

Well, now that I think about it he most certainly is... think about how much hell must give him a rush.

Most people obviously have no objection to other people doing what they want.

HOWEVER, this argument sometimes comes up in the context of, say, the suffragette movement or equivalent in other countries, as the question 'What about women who want to be housewives? Aren't they free to do that too?'. I think this question is misguided, because womens' movements (I hesitate to say feminism, because that can be a bit stronger) are about freedom, and choosing to be subservient is about limiting your own freedom. Women choosing to be subservient is fine so long as it doesn't impact other womens' freedom by promoting the image that it's the norm. Anyone who wants a free and fair society (which I do) will see that choosing to limit your freedom is not the same sort of choice as choosing to, say, go to university.

In other words, by all means be a housewife, and I would never judge you for it, because it's your choice. However, don't campaign for it, because it's a private choice, one you will always have the option to do, and flies right in the face of all the rights that most of the population have fought for over the last century.

Do you mind if I ask the context of your question?

Hell no. I'm confused as to why you even made this thread.

This isn't even about gender. No self-respecting person would put themselves second-in-command to someone else like that unless there is some form of abuse going on. And I'm talking about in life in general - not about in a job, not about in a sexual manner (if that's what turns you on), not about in a specific aspect where your partner may know more and therefore it makes sense they take control.

If it's a case of one person being passive and not really caring that much, so the other person ends up taking the lead more and being dominant (like I did with my previous boyfriend), then fair enough. If it's a case of one person wanting to do things with their life, but letting their partner decide for them that they won't - there is something not right there.

Most people obviously have no objection to other people doing what they want.

HOWEVER, this argument sometimes comes up in the context of, say, the suffragette movement or equivalent in other countries, as the question 'What about women who want to be housewives? Aren't they free to do that too?'. I think this question is misguided, because womens' movements (I hesitate to say feminism, because that can be a bit stronger) are about freedom, and choosing to be subservient is about limiting your own freedom. Women choosing to be subservient is fine so long as it doesn't impact other womens' freedom by promoting the image that it's the norm. Anyone who wants a free and fair society (which I do) will see that choosing to limit your freedom is not the same sort of choice as choosing to, say, go to university.

In other words, by all means be a housewife, and I would never judge you for it, because it's your choice. However, don't campaign for it, because it's a private choice, one you will always have the option to do, and flies right in the face of all the rights that most of the population have fought for over the last century.

Do you mind if I ask the context of your question?

How does being a housewife automatically make you subservient though?

I work far less than my bf (well not so much as of a few days ago, new job!) but enough so that i was pretty much living the role of a housewife, but my boyfriend tell me what to do or try to make decisions for me? Id like to see him try.

For me personally when i do choose to be a housewife (and i will for a few years as i want to have children and be at home whilst they are young) it is then me saying that is me in charge of the childcare, house maintenance and cooking. If my boyfriend tries to massively disrupt that, then i will be reminding him who stays and works in the home all day.
Same if he chose to be a househusband, that is not him being subservient, just taking organization over a different part of our lives than i would be.

Choosing to be a housewife and choosing to be subservient are two different things. i hope ive explained my point of view ok, i guess it depends how you see being a housewife. Cleaning, cooking and childcare are all jobs outside the home and i see no reason why they should not be considered worthy of equal respect and importance in the home, hence my viewpoint.

How does being a housewife automatically make you subservient though?

I work far less than my bf (well not so much as of a few days ago, new job!) but enough so that i was pretty much living the role of a housewife, but my boyfriend tell me what to do or try to make decisions for me? Id like to see him try.

For me personally when i do choose to be a housewife (and i will for a few years as i want to have children and be at home whilst they are young) it is then me saying that is me in charge of the childcare, house maintenance and cooking. If my boyfriend tries to massively disrupt that, then i will be reminding him who stays and works in the home all day.
Same if he chose to be a househusband, that is not him being subservient, just taking organization over a different part of our lives than i would be.

Choosing to be a housewife and choosing to be subservient are two different things. i hope ive explained my point of view ok, i guess it depends how you see being a housewife. Cleaning, cooking and childcare are all jobs outside the home and i see no reason why they should not be considered worthy of equal respect and importance in the home, hence my viewpoint.

I think it's an interesting topic. My ex asked that we be in a relationship that would mean I would be as submissive as one possibly could be. He told me to research the matter before I made my decision. I looked up stuff on the internet covering every aspect, both in and out of the bedroom. There are many men and women who like and want that sort of relationship and if they can find a partner that will happily consent to it then all the best to both of them. Personally, the idea sickened me. Bedroom fun is one thing but I'm a human being, not a pet dog to sit and bark only when told.

I asked a few friends vague questions on the matter, would they allow their partner to dictate this and that, how would they feel? I received mixed reactions, some things people would submit to, others not. I believe my relationship should be a matter of equal care and responsibility. Perhaps your friend DID think it was more of a 'put the man's need's first and do things for him selflessly' rather than follow all commands relationship. If that's the case, I'm not against that arrangement, I quite like it, but I'm not a slave.

Ill submit myself to god not a man

You're totally right. Sorry - I actually didn't mean to imply that being a housewife meant being subservient in a modern context, I was just trying to vary my vocabulary, and I didn't think. Edited.

I can totally see why a couple would want to split things so that the woman works at home / looks after the children, and the man earns money. It's probably good for the children too - I had two working parents, but they were both teachers, so the timings worked well around school etc. Otherwise I can imagine it's quite hard. I only meant to comment on the actual subservience aspect, which can be totally distinct.

That's quite an odd thing to say. I wonder how your friend meant it? Did she mean that in a relationship, each person submits to the other? Or that it is specifically a woman that submits to a man.

I'm guessing the definition of submission varies depending on the context in which you use it. I mean obeying the law or doing what your boss says at work are both forms of submitting to a higher authority. If you apply that kind of definition to relationships, then no one should be submitting to their partner. Maybe there is some definition of submission that could apply to healthy relationships, but I certainly can't think of it. Well, other than the kinky kind I guess. That isn't really true submission though, because you choose to do that (if you're so inclined) and could stop it at any point without repercussions, which is why it isn't generally considered unhealthy/harmful.

When I talk about submission, I'm talking about it in the religious/cultural/societal context. In a relationship, would you submit to your man?

To be specific:
If you were in a relationship, would you submit to your boyfriend/husband? As in, being second to him, letting him be head in the relationship, letting him be head/'man' of the household, letting him make all the decisions in the relationship, letting him have the final say, letting him decide stuff for you, letting him boss you around, doing as you are told by him, asking for his permission to do something/go somewhere, doing stuff for him ever if he is not obliged to do stuff back (e.g. you cook and clean for him even if he doesn't himself) etc. Sometimes sex may come into it e.g. he wants you to do certain things.

All in all, I'm talking about gender roles, and the notion that you should 'obey' your husband no matter what.

that is exactly what i want. thats how i want my relationship to me, im just attracted to those sort of guys.

Is not to say i dont have self respect, but in a relationship that is what i would want

Just out of interest, why?