want to have sex but ..

i'm a 18 year old girl and my family are devout muslims. i'm agnostic and have been since i was 14 but i wear a hijab. before anyone has a go at me for wearing a hijab when i don't consider myself muslim, i have been wearing it since i was about 5 or 6 and my family would probably cut ties with me if i took it off. i will probably take it off when i'm older/living alone.
anyway i'm making this thread because all my friends have lost their virginities and some are in relationships and it makes me feel lonely because i know that guys won't think twice about being in a relationship with me or having sex with me. i'm not ugly at all but i only get complimented by women or old people. guys assume i'm devout and i don't blame them but it's just frustrating. i don't want to wait until i'm married as i don't plan on marrying in the next 8-10 years

what should i do?

Reply 1

Zarek

21

Go to university, live a double life..

Reply 2

PricklyPorcupine

13

Wear a bit more make up if you like and even if you cant have low neck lines and high hems, try getting a long dress which is more slinky or in a fabric which kind of clings to you when you move- NOT a tight dress, just a nice material. Also, play with hijab styles a bit- have different patterns on it, wear something colourful etc. Also, smile a bit more and flirt a little bit (don't overdo it else they might get the wrong impression of you)
And-don't do it if you only want to because your friends have :tongue:

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 3

AR_95

21

Ahh I was similar in that I pretty much decided to call my self agnostic around 15 but I've never told my parents. I'm a guy though so don't have that hijab problem. Without sounding offensive, a hijab is usually a big no sign to guys especially around this age. Either way you shouldn't be desperate to have sex, we all get urges but banging some random bloke is not going to be worth it at all since you'll probably regret it later. Best thing you could do now I would say is try and persuade your family that you don't want to wear the hijab even though you'll stick to your religious ties?

Good luck ;s

Reply 4

AR_95

21

Original post by Zarek

Go to university, live a double life..

Yeah pretty much this just make sure you move city first aha

Reply 5

fnatic NateDestiel

18

Be your own doppelganger. At day act self-righteous and then at night do as you please :smug:

Reply 6

gr8wizard10

21

Sad to see. At the end of the day, it's your choice though.

Reply 7

Sunny_Smiles

they'll cut off ties with you for not wearing a hijab? but why? how does it affect them? why would they cut off ties with you for something so trivial? that's terrible

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Zarek

Go to university, live a double life..

i am later this year but i feel uncomfortable around men so i don't know how that will go

Reply 9

Zarek

21

Original post by Anonymous

i am later this year but i feel uncomfortable around men so i don't know how that will go

Yes, can imagine it will be a bit of a culture shock. Join some nice clubs to meet some good guys, rock climbers for example. Read Cosmopolitan magazine too..

Reply 10

gr8wizard10

21

Original post by Sunny_Smiles

they'll cut off ties with you for not wearing a hijab? but why? how does it affect them? why would they cut off ties with you for something so trivial? that's terrible

I think it's moreso to do with the fact that she doesn't consider herself a Muslim anymore. As Muslims we believe the whole purpose of life is just a test for the hereafter. Once you are no longer a Muslim, you're not in the running and for parents that can be heart-breaking. Also many Muslim parents are strict when it comes to religion and only want what is believed to be best for their child.

Islam advocates that the bond of Islam is greater than the bond of family. Muslims live their life by the values/teachings and the jurisdictions of the Qur'an & Sunnah (Prophets sayings/actions).

Reply 11

Sunny_Smiles

Original post by Abdul-Karim

I think it's moreso to do with the fact that she doesn't consider herself a Muslim anymore. As Muslims we believe the whole purpose of life is just a test for the hereafter. Once you are no longer a Muslim, you're not in the running and for parents that can be heart-breaking. Also many Muslim parents are strict when it comes to religion and only want what is believed to be best for their child.

Islam advocates that the bond of Islam is greater than the bond of family. Muslims live their life by the values/teachings and the jurisdictions of the Qur'an & Sunnah (Prophets sayings/actions).

1) how is the hijab a part of islam
2) how is life a test when god is omniscient

Reply 12

AR_95

21

Original post by Sunny_Smiles

1) how is the hijab a part of islam
2) how is life a test when god is omniscient

Don't want to be annoying but there is seriously a whole section of TSR which nit picks everything out about Islam so if you want to discuss it, better there :P

Reply 13

gr8wizard10

21

Original post by Sunny_Smiles

1) how is the hijab a part of islam
2) how is life a test when god is omniscient

I'll answer both of these in your PM, as to not derail the thread.

Reply 14

Sunny_Smiles

Original post by AR_95

Don't want to be annoying but there is seriously a whole section of TSR which nit picks everything out about Islam so if you want to discuss it, better there :P

I wasn't nit picking more than necessary, just the things we was talking about :lol:

Reply 15

Tootles

21

Original post by Anonymous

i'm a 18 year old girl and my family are devout muslims. i'm agnostic and have been since i was 14 but i wear a hijab. before anyone has a go at me for wearing a hijab when i don't consider myself muslim, i have been wearing it since i was about 5 or 6 and my family would probably cut ties with me if i took it off. i will probably take it off when i'm older/living alone.
anyway i'm making this thread because all my friends have lost their virginities and some are in relationships and it makes me feel lonely because i know that guys won't think twice about being in a relationship with me or having sex with me. i'm not ugly at all but i only get complimented by women or old people. guys assume i'm devout and i don't blame them but it's just frustrating. i don't want to wait until i'm married as i don't plan on marrying in the next 8-10 years

what should i do?

Be who you are, and to hell with anyone who doesn't like that. Take your hijab off if you aren't Muslim, and if your family don't like that, then that's their stupidity, and their loss.

Again: be who you are. That's the one thing you don't owe anyone.

Reply 16

Comus

10

Original post by Anonymous

i'm a 18 year old girl and my family are devout muslims. i'm agnostic and have been since i was 14 but i wear a hijab. before anyone has a go at me for wearing a hijab when i don't consider myself muslim, i have been wearing it since i was about 5 or 6 and my family would probably cut ties with me if i took it off. i will probably take it off when i'm older/living alone.
anyway i'm making this thread because all my friends have lost their virginities and some are in relationships and it makes me feel lonely because i know that guys won't think twice about being in a relationship with me or having sex with me. i'm not ugly at all but i only get complimented by women or old people. guys assume i'm devout and i don't blame them but it's just frustrating. i don't want to wait until i'm married as i don't plan on marrying in the next 8-10 years

what should i do?

You're an adult now, you shouldn't feel pressured to conform to your parents religion or even go through the motions - perhaps you should tell them that you are now an agnostic and have been for the past four years, obviously if they're very devout Muslims then they may be a little disappointed but they'll find out sooner or later so do it on your terms in a calm manner. Until then, maybe you could take off your hijab when they're not around?

Reply 17

qwerty_mad

13

Original post by Anonymous

i'm a 18 year old girl and my family are devout muslims. i'm agnostic and have been since i was 14 but i wear a hijab. before anyone has a go at me for wearing a hijab when i don't consider myself muslim, i have been wearing it since i was about 5 or 6 and my family would probably cut ties with me if i took it off. i will probably take it off when i'm older/living alone.
anyway i'm making this thread because all my friends have lost their virginities and some are in relationships and it makes me feel lonely because i know that guys won't think twice about being in a relationship with me or having sex with me. i'm not ugly at all but i only get complimented by women or old people. guys assume i'm devout and i don't blame them but it's just frustrating. i don't want to wait until i'm married as i don't plan on marrying in the next 8-10 years

what should i do?

You need to do what you think is right, factoring everything into your decision. Your friends may have BFs and no longer be virgins but is their life any better for it? Or better than yours? Reflect on what you have. For all you know your Muslim female friends who don't wear the hijab may think so highly so of you because you wear it and don't rush into bed with any guy.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 18

suedonim

15

Original post by Anonymous

i'm a 18 year old girl and my family are devout muslims. i'm agnostic and have been since i was 14 but i wear a hijab. before anyone has a go at me for wearing a hijab when i don't consider myself muslim, i have been wearing it since i was about 5 or 6 and my family would probably cut ties with me if i took it off. i will probably take it off when i'm older/living alone.
anyway i'm making this thread because all my friends have lost their virginities and some are in relationships and it makes me feel lonely because i know that guys won't think twice about being in a relationship with me or having sex with me. i'm not ugly at all but i only get complimented by women or old people. guys assume i'm devout and i don't blame them but it's just frustrating. i don't want to wait until i'm married as i don't plan on marrying in the next 8-10 years

what should i do?

could start with educating your parents about why many muslims don't see wearing hijab as necessary. Tell them you want to dress modestly but take the hijab off.

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by suedonim

could start with educating your parents about why many muslims don't see wearing hijab as necessary. Tell them you want to dress modestly but take the hijab off.

they're very ignorant and frown upon women who don't wear it. hijab is like mandatory in my family even my 7 year old niece wears it

want to have sex but ..

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