Do I need to have a bf before I have sex ?

I’m 17 and for some time now I’ve started to feel like I’m ready to have sex. The problem is I don’t have a boyfriend. I would also like to have sex with someone older than me because I’m typically attracted to guys 3/4 years older than me. What are the laws in the UK regarding age of consent etc ?

Reply 1

Crazy Jamie

Careers Forum Helper

The age of consent is 16, save for certain situations where a person in a position of trust cannot have sex with a person under the age of 18. A classic example of that is teachers. So save for that relatively unusual exception, you are past the age of consent. So you can have sex with whoever you want. No, you certainly don't need a boyfriend to have sex. It's up to you how and with whom you have sex. Just make sure you are comfortable with everything that you do; remember that it is absolutely your right to say no to something at any stage, even when you've already started being intimate or having sex with someone.

Two other quick points to note. First, keep yourself safe, both in terms of the physical situations you're putting yourself in and practising safe sex. Sex is inherently a situation where you are going to be vulnerable with another person or people. You obviously cannot guarantee that people are going to treat you the right way or make good decisions, and there will absolutely be times when you have bad sex, or do something you regret. That's fine. It's all part of the learning process. But you should take steps to keep yourself safe in terms of things that you can put in place and steps you can take in advance of becoming involved with someone.

Second, this is a process, both in terms of learning how sex works, and learning what works for you. Having a good, satisfying, happy sex life includes constantly learning new things both about yourself and the person/people you're having sex with. It's not all going to be smooth sailing, even in a long term relationship (and perhaps particularly in a long term relationship). There'll be times, as I say, when you do things you regret, you do things you don't enjoy and so on. There's nothing wrong with feeling bad about that, but ultimately you should see it all as part of the process of figuring out what you enjoy. So do keep an open mind, and don't be put off or think there's something wrong if you have bad experiences, particularly early on.

Reply 2

Meheraj

Original post by Anonymous #1

First of all, you are past of the age consent according to UK law and you can have sex with someone else who should be no less than 16.

Regarding having a partner for sex, I would say that's totally up to you whether you want to do it with your partner or any random individual. But if I were in your place, I would've done it with my partner for sure because I feel it's safer with a person I know well. Remember I'm not being judgemental but I'm telling you what I would've done if it were me. Also, I do eye-to-eye with the most points Crazy Jamie mentioned. That's why, I didn't think it was necessary to mention those. Anyway, I would like to reinforce one thing whatever you do with whoever, don't forget to make sure that you are safe. Good luck! 🤞🏻