Why is it always the man using the woman?

Forgive me for watching Dr. Phil in my spare time, but something he said bothers me. He says to these self-destructive teenage girls that they are "being used" by the guys they have casual sex with. I'm not advocating casual sex AT ALL, I just don't get why when two people engage in meaningless, casual sex, everyone tells the girl she is being used. If she goes into it with no hopes or expectations of a relationship, then she is using him as much as he is using her.

Telling girls that when they hook up that they are being used every time gives us a victim attitude and worse, causes us to distrust men who genuinely want a relationship but also want sex.

It takes two to tango, so why is it the girl who is always being used?

Long held sexism.

I kind of agree. But then again if you are EXCEPTIONALLY lazy like Dr Phil is in order to condense stuff into a show, in relationships.

Sex = man wins
Money = woman wins.

I guarantee you if the guys had spent millions on the girls and they hadn't put out, Phil would tell the girls they are using the guys.

Reply 3

BefuddledPenguin

15

People still believe that no woman anywhere ever wants to have sex for it's own sake. So many people believe that women merely tolerate sex for money/protection/relationships/children etc. It is an anachronism that will hopefully pass within this generation.

Reply 4

lee1985

7

I agree with your point.

However I would say that when 'two tango' unless it is clearly completely meaningless sex then it is more likely the girl will look for something to come out of it and develop slight feelings than guys will. Also, the idea that a lot of guys just want sex with 'any girl' whereas girls probably choose their guy, even if it's based purely on looks (you see far more guys lowering their standards for sex than women). I'd say therefore this means that whilst it's meaningless casual sex the girl has chosen her guy and wants to do it with that actual guy, whereas the guy couldn't give a rats arse whether it was her or the next girl.

That's how I see it on the grand scale of things, note that like always it doesn't apply to everyone.

Reply 5

Jebedee

17

Because girls are programmed to exchange sex for something.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 6

anonymouspie227

20

Cos people always assume that women want more. She can't have sex because she wants to? It's because she wants a relationship. BS.

Reply 7

iEatMuFFiNS

14

A lot of woman want some buck for their bang :rolleyes:

Reply 8

StevieA

Original post by anonymouspie227

Cos people always assume that women want more. She can't have sex because she wants to? It's because she wants a relationship. BS.

Vast majority of women don't want more? Where can we guys find all these girls who just want sex? It would be living the dream for most guys! Like being a footballer or a rock star!

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/plenty-of-fish-dating-site-founder-pulls-intimate-encounters-option-to-ward-off-sleazy-men-8626107.html

only 6,041 of 3.3m daily users were women looking for no-strings sex

Virtually every woman on the site has this in her email settings when you check their profiles:

Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex.

Reply 9

miser

20

Dr Phil is projecting his (and society's) value system onto the situation in order to judge it. Whenever anyone judges anything, that's what they're doing. In this case, Dr Phil's value system is that women should reserve sex for guys who are giving them something he believes is meaningful, for example a relationship.

In essence, he believes the girls are being used because the guys are getting something meaningful without giving anything meaningful in return. Many people think this way about casual sex.

Reply 10

StevieA

Original post by miser

Dr Phil is projecting his (and society's) value system onto the situation in order to judge it. Whenever anyone judges anything, that's what they're doing. In this case, Dr Phil's value system is that women should reserve sex for guys who are giving them something he believes is meaningful, for example a relationship.

In essence, he believes the girls are being used because the guys are getting something meaningful without giving anything meaningful in return. Many people think this way about casual sex.