friend making up crap excuses for cancelling

I don't think she sees you as a friend either

Agreed.

Usually, my friends know well in advance if they can't make it and they will say "sorry, I won't be there" and they do usually have good reasons.

Personally, I would just stop making plans with her.

I've experienced that with my friends so much times, they never invite me anyway unless I ask, and even then they make up excuses saying they working or something even though really they be hanging out with each other without me. once they said weren't going out but one of them posted on Facebook being out with them at the cinema but quickly removed it half an hour later so I know I'm not being paranoid. I just ignore them now unless they invite me out personally and actually have no feelings towards most of them anymore (took me 3 years after high school how they really where) I'm just hopeing staring university this year will be a new start and so I can make new set of friends


Posted from TSR Mobile

I had a 'friend' like this too. We were at university together, and were quite friendly with each other then, shared a few classes etc. However after university she just became terrible at keeping plans- she was the classic person to cancel 30 minutes before we were due to meet up; once or twice I was already on the bus to meet her when her text arrived! Or I would plan my day around seeing her (I'm a research student, so I would go work in a city centre library to make sure we could meet after work), only for her to then cancel, meaning I could have just worked from home that day and saved the travel fare. It was especially annoying as I now live abroad, so I would be trying to meet up with her on the odd occasions that I was home, when I only had a limited number of days/evenings to meet people! Eventually, after her latest cancellation ('headache'), I just wrote back saying something like 'So sorry about that; you text me when you'd like to meet up next'. Of course, I haven't heard from her since, and probably just as well really- no need for such a headwrecker in my life!

that sounds very inconvenient, did you ever think to bring it up with her or did you think it wasnt worth the hassle? i did what you did too, i told her its up to her to make plans with me, if shes so unwell then she can decide to ask me to hang out on her terms when shes feeling better. her response to this was odd, she basically acted like i was asking her to move mountains for me... when i think i was asking something basic and easy. however the only explanation for her weird response is that now im putting the onus on her and she doesnt want to hang out, that means im no longer asking (maybe she enjoys being asked and thinking she has friends and is wanted) so the responsibility lies with her. something she seems to not be comfortable with taking.

Sounds familiar. I had a friend who used to constantly blow me off. We used to arrange to meet, I'd be waiting for her and then I'd get a text to say she wasn't coming. It used to happen so often, I stopped believing a word she said. The icing on the cake was when she backed out of going on holiday with me, knowing that I'd already paid and committed to it. She fell out with me when I got upset about it. I haven't seen her for years, good riddance. You set the bar for how you want to be treated. Don't allow her to treat you like this and think its acceptable. If you can't get her to realize she's done anything wrong, walk away and don't look back. Save yourself the upset.

I get so much **** like this from my friends all the time so I know exactly where you're coming from. It can be so irritating when I make the effort to try and organise a party/cinema trip/lunch/dinner with my friends but they don't even have the courtesy to actually reply to my text messages, even if it's just an apology to say they can't make it. Part of the problem is that I don't drink, which therefore means that people would much rather prefer to ignore my text messages and make time to go out drinking for 7 hours most nights of the week, but they can't even spare 2 hours for a quick catch-up with me. I get so wound up that I've just stopped talking to some people. But what annoys me even more is that the same people who ignore my efforts to organise catch-ups are the same people who then complain that they don't see me enough outside uni or that they're so incredibly busy that they can't spare 2 seconds to write a quick text so I know they're alive and well. Even if they just wrote something like "I'm busy at the moment, call me later" so I might have an idea that they actually care. Instead people smile through their teeth and look sheepish when I catch them out - no-one (and especially not students) will be so busy that they can't even reply to a text. They're either off doing their own things with other people or they're at home being lazy and not accepting any visitors. This is exactly why it's so hard to make proper friends when you're different to everyone else but you do your best to fit in. No-one refuses to let go of the idea that you must drink alcohol to have a good time, and some of us seem to attract people who abuse our friendships with them.

Sorry to hear about your friend's behaviour. You should mention it to her at some point, although you run the risk of her blowing up in your face like one girl did to me (because apparently it's too much to ask to see your friends outside of uni/school). I think you've given your friend enough chances - let it go and stop talking to her for as long as you can. Let her be the one to initiate it next time or, even better, find other people to go out with and don't invite this friend. That will show her.