The Student Room Group

Tip to women

Though it could apply to men too.

If you like a guy, and he asks you out, just say "yes".

If you don't like a guy, and he asks you out, just say "no".

If you like a bit of chase, ok that can be 'fun' for a while. At least be straightforward about it. Don't send mixed signals. You can just play it slower and make them work for it. There is no need to say 'yes' to something and then backtrack. That's immature. For instance saying saying "yes" when he asks you out, but then cancelling 3 times in a row with progressively dumber excuses. If you like him, but don't want to go on a date yet, then suggest an alternative such as meeting up with friends. If you don't have friends then get some.

Now your life will be 10x more straightforward & help you sleep at night better. You're welcome.
Reply 1
Women have been playing dumb power dynamics games probably since the beginning of time. I point you to the Judgement of Paris as primary evidence. The mythology of the Middle Ages with noble maidens offering knights tokens of favour is the same thing - getting men to prove themselves. In the modern era, you can't really have dudes jousting or hitting one another with flanged maces to prove themselves to women, so in lieu of any other criteria, they set these little tests to see who is willing to put up with their nonsense the longest.
Original post by Trinculo
Women have been playing dumb power dynamics games probably since the beginning of time. I point you to the Judgement of Paris as primary evidence. The mythology of the Middle Ages with noble maidens offering knights tokens of favour is the same thing - getting men to prove themselves. In the modern era, you can't really have dudes jousting or hitting one another with flanged maces to prove themselves to women, so in lieu of any other criteria, they set these little tests to see who is willing to put up with their nonsense the longest.

I get it and I'm not necessarily entirely against it. A lot of dudes are full of sh*t. How are women to know if he's being serious or not? Through 'games'.

However, that ought not to grant women the license to mirror similar bad behaviours. In this day & age, how am I supposed to know if a woman is being serious or not? That she isn't chasing/hooking up with others or doesn't for instance have a boyfriend already (I am positive that at least 50% of women who have ever shown serious interest in me already had boyfriends). Especially if she is repeatedly contradicting what was agreed with her actions, making plans & cancelling multiple times over with increasingly made up excuses.

How am I supposed to know if she is playing these 'games' because:
a) she is testing me to see if I am compromised, or
b) because she herself is compromised (such as already having a boyfriend)

You can test peoples' character without compromising your own. You want to see if someone is really interested in you? There's no easier or more straightforward way of doing that than taking things slowly.
(edited 2 months ago)

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