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Discuss: The benefits and risks of a girl asking a guy out?

Please thoroughly discuss the benefits and risks of a girl asking a guy out. I've been thinking about this a lot and want to understand whether I should approach a guy someday or not.

Thanks

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Reply 1

username1623349

Positive: you could end up having a boyfriend, because he says yes.
Negative: you could end up not having a boyfriend, because he says no. And if he says no, no harm is done. Move on and find someone else. So you might as well just do it.

Reply 2

pagorai

Thats overthinking. Just go for it

Reply 3

shawn_o1

Yeah what the above said.
OP your job search should come first. Or better, continue to research physics

Reply 4

stargirl63

Depending on the guy, they can think the confidence is sexy,like the decisive attitude of the girl or they can think it's emasculating or keen.

Reply 5

Kevin De Bruyne

One of my favourite quotes from Vine is 'bruh just go for it right now here we go'.

With that in mind, it can get things moving forward if the guy is shy or doesn't know how you feel.

Reply 6

bluemax

OP you're just pathetic now. Maybe you should've done this topic for your Ph.D

Reply 7

william walker

Original post by sparklenshine

Please thoroughly discuss the benefits and risks of a girl asking a guy out. I've been thinking about this a lot and want to understand whether I should approach a guy someday or not.

Thanks

Is that you in your profile photo? :smile:

Reply 8

Student403

Pros
You avoid crappy mind games waiting for him to ask you
You don't need to worry anymore about whether or not he'll say yes or no
Might actually boost your confidence
At least he'll see you as someone who can take charge of a situation
He might actually like you and is unaware you like him

Cons
You don't conform to some stupid, pointless social expectation. Oh how terrible /s

Reply 9

A5ko

TSR - The Singles Retreat.

Reply 10

username47781

Benefits outweigh the risks, better asking than not asking, least you'll know.

Reply 11

libbylangham

Original post by sparklenshine

Please thoroughly discuss the benefits and risks of a girl asking a guy out. I've been thinking about this a lot and want to understand whether I should approach a guy someday or not.

Thanks

You have as much right to do it as any guy. This is the 21st century - we're all so over gender roles and stigma! You like him, ask him out. He says yes - great. He says no - strut the **** out of his life with a quick hair flick

Reply 12

samina_ay

rejection is the biggest disadvantage obvs, (but not all rejection is bad, redirects you to something better) and if he says 'yes' then well done girl you got yourself a boyfriend lol haha

Reply 13

Drunk Punx

Original post by william walker

Is that you in your profile photo? :smile:

You seem a bit parched, fam. Here.

OP: the benefits and risks are the same as a guy asking a girl out.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 14

william walker

Original post by Drunk Punx

You seem a bit parched, fam. Here.

OP: the benefits and risks are the same as a guy asking a girl out.

What?

Reply 15

Drunk Punx

Original post by william walker

What?

Just helping you to quench your thirst :h:

Reply 16

hektik

Original post by sparklenshine

Please thoroughly discuss the benefits and risks of a girl asking a guy out. I've been thinking about this a lot and want to understand whether I should approach a guy someday or not.

Thanks

(Assuming there already is a specific guy)

You'll either get to go out with him or you'll finally get the answer to the question whether he wants to go out with you.

Not much use waiting around for him to ask you; it's passive and even if he likes you, there's a chance he won't ask you out so less chance of you getting what you want (him).

If he likes you, asking him out (as a girl) will unlikely affect your chances of getting him, and if it does, was pining after this guy really worth it?

The risks are rejection (which isn't nice at all) and potential embarrassment, although you have more control over the latter (you don't have to feel embarrassed) but maybe you will feel that way.

When it comes down to it, do you like him? If yes, and you think he may like you (which I think is quite important), ask him out.

Reply 17

Bupdeeboowah

Original post by sparklenshine

Please thoroughly discuss the benefits and risks of a girl asking a guy out. I've been thinking about this a lot and want to understand whether I should approach a guy someday or not.

Thanks

OP, let's just make everything easy and sign a contract for how we should date. I propose the following:

1. Dates
(a) Dates will be a weekly affair to be held on Thursdays to Sundays, unless a satisfactory excuse is provided.
(b) Dates occurring on weekdays shall be exclusively conducted at night.
(c) After the 4th date both parties shall have the option to invite the other out on one more occasion in the week, but such an option can only be exercised once every fortnight.
(d) After the 10th date the above restrictions in (a)-(c) shall be lifted, but there must be at least one date a week, unless a satisfactory excuse is provided.
(e) The guideline budget for dates shall be £30 per pax (excluding transportation costs). Notice shall be given to the other party if one party suggests a date which would require a higher budget.

2. Gifts
(a) Each party shall gift the other a surprise gift in the 1st, 3rd, and 5th months of the relationship.
(b) The value of each aforementioned gift in (a) shall be within £30-100.
(c) Gifts as mentioned in (a) shall include (but not necessarily be restricted to): jewellery, clothing, cosmetics, perfumes, and admission tickets to events.

3. Communication
(a) Parties shall be limited to 20 instant messages (via for e.g. Facebook, Whatsapp, Imessenger, email) in communication per day in the first 2 months of the relationship.
(b) Parties shall be limited to phone calls of 100 minutes per week in the first 2 months of the relationship.
(c) No phone calls shall be made after 12.30 am, unless it is for an emergency.
(d) After the 10th date the above restrictions in (a)-(b) shall be lifted.

4. Sex
(a) It is understood that one of the parties is uncomfortable with sex, and thus no sexual contact shall take place in the first 4 months of the relationship.
(b) (a) however does not preclude any form of affectionate contact, e.g. cuddling.
(c) Discussion of cohabitation shall only occur after the first 6 months of the relationship.
(d) Consent to sexual activity must be made in written consent and signed by a notary.

5. Socialisation
(a) Parties can only invite the other party to social events after the 8th date.
(b) Social events as mentioned in (a) shall include (but not necessarily be restricted to): company social events, family events, charity events, dinners with friends, and barbeques with neighbours.
(c) It is understood that one of the parties has problems with making friends, and thus the other party shall try his best to introduce the said party to his friends.

These terms are provisional and subject to change after negotiations.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 18

sparklenshine

Original post by georgiaswift

As a girl don't you think that a guy may agree just because it's better than being single? Do you worry about not being his number 1 choice if you approach rather than him? This has always been my concern but I don't want to keep believing it anymore.