I'm going to try and keep this as vague as possible because there are people on here who know who I am outside of TSR and I don't want them to know about this. Apologies because it's long.
Okay so I've been with someone for a long time. It's serious. That doesn't even come into question.
But a few months ago I met somebody else at an event. At first it was nothing, just an introduction, but I saw him at a few more events over the following months, and still it was nothing, we really barely spoke to each other. He's attractive though. He's also not single.
Anyway in December he started flirting with me a tiny bit at another event, and we started talking online (about more than just events), and one thing led to another until it became blatantly clear that we both like each other.
The thing is we'd never really said much to each other in real life - just sort of stared across the room at each other, but we talk all the time online. We've become bffs that fancy each other, which is weird, right? Neither of our other halves know this (although they know we're friends).
Anyway I've started doing some online work for him as well so that's another reason we talk so much.
He's a bit of a womaniser though. There's another woman he fancies the hell out of, and he tells me about her all the time, and how she likes him back and so on (not his partner), and I'm meant to be the close confident he call tell this stuff to, but I'm just insanely jealous. There's another one as well, someone he knew from his past, and he fancies her too, and a bunch of other women.
He's told me about sexual things he wants to do to me though as well, although he's made it clear it's just fantasy. I've told him the same.
Anyway I was at an event with him yesterday, and we actually got to have a pretty long chat, (just as friends) which is the most we've ever spoken. After the event I messaged him saying :
"I guess that was the most we've ever spoken in real life", and he replied saying that I seemed nervous.
I said I wasn't, and asked him why he thought that, and he said it was just the way I spoke.
So I said sorry, and he said "don't apologise. you're a bit cute. I make no apology for using that word."
I have no idea what he meant by that. I replied saying that cute doesn't mean sexy, but that's just the way I am, and although yeah I'm bouncy and overenthusiastic he'd just have to like it or lump it.
He didn't bring it up since. I tried talking to him about something pretty general today and he was kind of abrupt, so I've told him I'll leave him to get on with my day.
Oh god my head is in a right spin. I get the feeling he's gone off me after having spoken to me properly in real life, and I've got a churning in my stomach, although it shouldn't even matter. We should be platonic. I've got someone in my life already that I love, and I have no intention on cheating on him, but I can't get this other guy out of my head, even though he clearly just likes anything in a skirt (or tight trousers!)
What the hell does that mean? I'm "a bit cute". That can't be a good thing, especially as he's acting evasive today.
I can't cut him off, I work for him, and tbh I don't want to, I really like him, but I'm just feeling like an emotional mess right now.
Stupid shitty situation.