1st year student and pregnant. What to do?
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Original post by littlenorthernlass
I disagree. Life isn't thrown away if you decide to raise a child instead of/alongside your career.
And 18-22 is a perfectly acceptable age to have a child. Better younger than later.
I disagree. Life isn't thrown away if you decide to raise a child instead of/alongside your career. And 18-22 is a perfectly acceptable age to have a child. Better younger than later.Are you a young mother or something? OP can kiss goodbye to most of her dreams if she decides to keep the baby. There is no guarantee that the father will stick around and provide emotional support. The sacrifices OP will have to make to raise a baby are immense.
IMO 18-22 is fairly young to have a baby but to each his/her own. If OP had completed her education and was in the process of carving out a career for herself then fine.
Original post by AJP98
I believe suggesting he won't stay with her if she keeps it is very unsupportive, and in a way, cruel. Whilst he has no obligation to stay with her, it takes two to make a child, and in adult relationships, the conversation of "what if?" should have been had prior to the conception.
His choice to financially support the child isn't heroic, it's, quite frnkly, to be expected from the baby's own bloody father. Whilst he is very much entitled to his input in the abortion process and the decision making, he isn't considering her emotional status. To put your girlfriend between a rock and a hard place, either lose the baby or the boyfriend, is downright unfair, especially when she is so stressed and scared.
His choice to financially support the child isn't heroic, it's, quite frnkly, to be expected from the baby's own bloody father. Whilst he is very much entitled to his input in the abortion process and the decision making, he isn't considering her emotional status. To put your girlfriend between a rock and a hard place, either lose the baby or the boyfriend, is downright unfair, especially when she is so stressed and scared.
It's also not too fair on the boyfriend to go ahead and have the baby when it's not something he particularly wants in his life. Whatever happens, someone's not being fair.
Original post by Welkom
It's also not too fair on the boyfriend to go ahead and have the baby when it's not something he particularly wants in his life. Whatever happens, someone's not being fair.
Agreed, it's a situation that a little forethought can prevent.
This is a very sensitive topic and everyone will have conflicting opinions. Its important to make the decision that is right for you, as ultimately it is your life that will bear the consequences the most. Whilst you may feel pressured by your boyfriends wishes, remember that the majority of the burden and drawbacks of either abortion, adoption or raising a child will fall on yourself. In this circumstance, it is okay to be 'selfish' and make the decision you feel is right.
I would advise you to seek professional help. There are many people you can speak to about what you're going through such as counsellors and nurses who allow you to talk through every option, inform you of all the different aspects and provide general support and listen to you. Unfortunately your boyfriends attitude sounds less than ideal and I would not stay with him considering he has voiced the fact he would not be with you if you kept the baby. He sounds like a D*ck and you'll be better off without him.
Speaking from experience, I had an abortion at 17. Its a very difficult decision and something only you can decide. I found all the medical staff I spoke to throughout the process of making my decision and carrying it out were very helpful and supportive. I felt very safe and comforted and I did not feel forced to make a decision,was given plenty of aftercare/advice. I would say confide in a family member or close friend, it definitely helps to have that comfort.
Whatever you eventually decide, it will be okay. Life always works out
I would advise you to seek professional help. There are many people you can speak to about what you're going through such as counsellors and nurses who allow you to talk through every option, inform you of all the different aspects and provide general support and listen to you. Unfortunately your boyfriends attitude sounds less than ideal and I would not stay with him considering he has voiced the fact he would not be with you if you kept the baby. He sounds like a D*ck and you'll be better off without him.
Speaking from experience, I had an abortion at 17. Its a very difficult decision and something only you can decide. I found all the medical staff I spoke to throughout the process of making my decision and carrying it out were very helpful and supportive. I felt very safe and comforted and I did not feel forced to make a decision,was given plenty of aftercare/advice. I would say confide in a family member or close friend, it definitely helps to have that comfort.
Whatever you eventually decide, it will be okay. Life always works out
Original post by Daniel9998
Abortion would be the smartest move
Abortion would be the easiest move*
maybe it would be better to get the child adopted, at least that way it might not be goodbye forever
Original post by Zarek
Don't like the sound of your bf, to be honest. Go and see student support / young persons councillor and get a bit for advice on options and moral support.
What has he done wrong? She is essentially saying, raise this child with me or I'll have that baby and screw you for 18 years.
Am sure everyones said anything, but am with the its your body you choose brigade. You make the best decision you can, they each have consequences for you.
Make sure you get proper counseling for either abortion or adopion, so you have an understanding of what you are letting yourself in for.
If you decide to keep it, then you cna still go to uni, just take a gap inbetween.Plenty of mums and single mums go to uni. I expect its tough work, but many of them will go on to have careers as you had planned. Do talk to the uni, student services an find out what your options are .
The bf doesnt sound supportive, so I wouldnt bank on him.
Make sure you get proper counseling for either abortion or adopion, so you have an understanding of what you are letting yourself in for.
If you decide to keep it, then you cna still go to uni, just take a gap inbetween.Plenty of mums and single mums go to uni. I expect its tough work, but many of them will go on to have careers as you had planned. Do talk to the uni, student services an find out what your options are .
The bf doesnt sound supportive, so I wouldnt bank on him.
Get shot of the kid. See this as an opportunity to morally turn over a new leaf and join the global Ummah.
But sure teen/single mothers are scum, i'd swiftly bring back the birch and flog those ****ers till they bleed. Why UK houses and feeds these total delinquents always amazes me. You dont find any of that socialist welfare **** in the gulf or India, if you stray off the path there yer dont get owt and thats how it should be.
But sure teen/single mothers are scum, i'd swiftly bring back the birch and flog those ****ers till they bleed. Why UK houses and feeds these total delinquents always amazes me. You dont find any of that socialist welfare **** in the gulf or India, if you stray off the path there yer dont get owt and thats how it should be.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by cherryred90s
Abortion would be the easiest move*
Why did you bump an old thread just to make a pro-life comment?
Original post by georgiaswift
Why did you bump an old thread just to make a pro-life comment?
Didn't look at the dates. I'm also not pro life.
Abortion.
[QUOTE=Kashmir Skirt;63765033]What has he done wrong? She is essentially saying, raise this child with me or I'll have that baby and screw you for 18 years.
So, not quite sure why you've popped up 4 weeks on. But to address your question, if you've done the deed you need to face up to the fact and have some consideration of others feelings. Caring consideration to put forward your view is more appropriate than ultimatums. The, I'd leave uni to support the child but end the relationship, sounds a completely petulant and immature approach. Would you want to stay with anyone that said that, even if you decided abortion was the best option.
So, not quite sure why you've popped up 4 weeks on. But to address your question, if you've done the deed you need to face up to the fact and have some consideration of others feelings. Caring consideration to put forward your view is more appropriate than ultimatums. The, I'd leave uni to support the child but end the relationship, sounds a completely petulant and immature approach. Would you want to stay with anyone that said that, even if you decided abortion was the best option.
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