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8 year older boyfriend?

Hi, I have a bit of a dilemma.
I've been dating a guy who has just turned 26 for about three months now. I'm 18 and there's around 7 years 9 months between us. We work together and known each other for over a year, initially I found him attractive but didn't think he felt the same way and I felt like he was too old for me at the time ( I was 17). I let other employees skew my perspective of him, with them and then me branding him a creep for trying to flirt with me. However we both got on really well and he helped me to learn all the ropes and helped me out when i didn't know what to do at our job.
We both drank slightly too much at a staff party in September after I turned 18 and ended up kissing and began dating a week later. I suspect my mother saw me kissing him as I was drinking so I didn't drive myself home. We kept it quiet for around a month and I lied to my parents about going out so I could see him, until my mum (who is friends with my boss) told my boss she thought I was dating someone from work. My boss ended up asking other employees if i was dating anyone so I ended up telling my Mum and the other employees. Our boss completely loves the idea of us together as quite a few previous employees have gotten married and I think she's happy seeing him happy as she's known him since he was quite young. My mum wasn't particularly happy about it and keeps telling me not to have a 'serious' relationship with him and that I shouldn't get too attached. Although shes accepted it, and allows us to go out on dates, she's started to prevent me from going out with him.
He lives with his mum and has a full time job but he left college at around my age after his father died to help earn money for her. He now wants to go back into education and get a better job. He's a really nice guy, has no criminal records or anything like that, i'm fully in control of how far we go and he immediately stops when i'm uncomfortable with something and went to get tested for STIs on his own whim to make me happy. He encourages me to work hard at college and is supportive of my future plans and last night he introduced me to his sister and friends.
I'm aware that this relationship may fizzle out but I think we're both mature enough to handle it sensibly and not make a big deal out of it.
The problem is mainly with my Mum not liking me seeing him. I've given her the offer to meet him several times and I want to talk to her about it but we aren't particularly comfortable with talking to each other about this sort of stuff as I find she makes it quite awkward for me to explain my feelings on top of the fact I'm quite a private person. She doesn't know I'm now on birth control either.
Any ideas on what I could/ should do to make her happier?
What would you do in my situation?
Any similar stories?
Thank you!

Reply 1

Dan24719

It's not that bad an age gap

Reply 2

Mimir

18 and 26?

That's fine.

Reply 3

TyroTrix

depends if he's jewish

Reply 4

anosmianAcrimony

Honestly, I see an age gap as a possible predictor of other problems than as a problem in itself. Your relationship does not seem to have those problems. I say, keep on keeping on.

Reply 5

Luke7456

26 and 18 hmm?

26/2+7 =20.

THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS IT IS BORDERLINE PEDOPHILIA IF YOU BREAK THE HALF YOUR AGE +7 RULE.

Not acceptable.

He can only date 20 and uo.

This relationship should break up.

Reply 6

Devify

I tend to end up in relationships with similar age gaps and as long as neither one thinks they're too young/old to be dating the other person then there's really nothing wrong with it. You're both of legal age and you both like each other.

For the situation with your mum, you need to talk it out somehow. If you feel uncomfortable talking maybe write out your thoughts and ask her to read it? You're her little girl and she will always worry, even when you're 50. But you need to understand why she doesn't like you dating him and she needs to understand why you want to. Even if it's going to be an awkward conversation.

Considering you said you're pretty private, I would guess you never really told her you're dating unless it was going somewhere? Maybe she just doesn't know that you know what you're doing and think him being older, he's taking advantage of a young innocent girl.

I'm like that myself while my sister would bring every single guy she tried dating to meet our mum and told her when she lost her virginity. So even though I'm 20 my mum didn't think I had a sex life or went out with guys in that way until she found a box of condoms when she was over for a visit :biggrin: