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How are you feeling right now? MKV
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Forest is technically Asian lol. I went to a wedding today and the groom had the exact same name. Like bloody hell...
prob won't log on for months after this
but been through a lot recently and tryin to fix up as best as I can, sometimes it's v difficult
we'll see what happens, but imma stay positive
but been through a lot recently and tryin to fix up as best as I can, sometimes it's v difficult
we'll see what happens, but imma stay positive
Original post by ForestShadow
eh what can you do when they come knocking on your doorstep with their wedding plans all laid out, do you parents know youre not into that sorta thing?
My parents know that when it's to do with me, what I say goes. They'd never marry me off to someone without my former consent
the poor unsuspectimg soul that would dare to come knocking with all their plans laid out.Lucky, that's for sure tbh
Original post by The_Internet
Lucky, that's for sure tbh
Hmm, lucky in what sense?
As in, not typically Asian
I come with gifts. I marry the hot one yes?
Original post by The_Internet
As in, not typically Asian
I wouldn't be too sure of that
They're still Asian. You can take the Asians out of Asia, but you can't take the Asian out of them
Original post by trustmeimlying1
I come with gifts. I marry the hot one yes?
Oh, you'd be invited in to be served tea, biscuits then you'd be shown the door. From me you'd be getting a
or two 
Perhaps. I think mum was saying that for an "aunty" (ie: uncle's wife), that my actual immediate aunty (and mum's immediate sister ofc), was somehow leading her kids astray as she wants her kids married by... 18.
I said to my mum one thing, "Welcome to the west"
I said to my mum one thing, "Welcome to the west"
Original post by The_Internet
Perhaps. I think mum was saying that for an "aunty" (ie: uncle's wife), that my actual immediate aunty (and mum's immediate sister ofc), was somehow leading her kids astray as she wants her kids married by... 18.
I said to my mum one thing, "Welcome to the west"
I said to my mum one thing, "Welcome to the west"
Hmm whats wrong with marriage at 18?
Literally nothing at all, but she basically wants her kids to just.."do it for her mum" even if it means sacrificing her own happiness.
Original post by The_Internet
Literally nothing at all, but she basically wants her kids to just.."do it for her mum" even if it means sacrificing her own happiness.
Ah hell no.
See this is what I can never get about the Asian mentality, what pleasure can a mother get seeing her daughter/son married, in a marriage the daughter/son wasn't happy with in the first place.
Yup. Totally agreed. Tbh when parents bring up stuff like that it actually makes me less happy for... reasons
Original post by The_Internet
Yup. Totally agreed. Tbh when parents bring up stuff like that it actually makes me less happy for... reasons
I take it you don't want to go into the reasons.
Exhausted but happy 
why are the things outside my window so bloody creepy 
i guess it comes as a part of living near a forest but at twilight you have that creepy birdsong and now you have the foxes screaming their faces off
anyway managed to pull some productivity out of the bag so that's something, after all may as well do another subject whilst ur having a block with a different one
i guess it comes as a part of living near a forest but at twilight you have that creepy birdsong and now you have the foxes screaming their faces off
anyway managed to pull some productivity out of the bag so that's something, after all may as well do another subject whilst ur having a block with a different one
I am fed up.
I barely ever speak unless it's necessary.
So I just hate people who have no filter and just speak whatever they are thinking out loud.
It just makes you look stupid and uneducated.
EDIT unless it's TSR I speak all sorts of s*** on here. Because who cares.
I barely ever speak unless it's necessary.
So I just hate people who have no filter and just speak whatever they are thinking out loud.
It just makes you look stupid and uneducated.
EDIT unless it's TSR I speak all sorts of s*** on here. Because who cares.
(edited 7 years ago)
Right now, somewhat happy. Went to the park etc..
Oh TSR I must tell you something. I feel ever so bad. I live in an illusion of my mind, where I pretend to be confident and pretty. Imagine it's like a bubble. I push out all the feelings of 'old' me and pretend I'm new me. Illusion/new me lives like a normal person so I still feel bad and lonely etc, but the REALLY bad feelings of inadequacy and ugliness and embarrassment and unconfidence are pushed out. It's like constantly trying to stop yourself thinking of something in particular, like Maltesers. You have to keep pushing that thought out.
If ever the illusion breaks and I remember and feel like old, embarrassing me, I feel awful, depressed and hot under the collar. It is extremely uncomfortable. And once the illusion breaks, it's like a wheel is broken; the momentum is broken. It takes a great amount of mind control to push oldme out and remind myself of newme and MAKE myself believe it.
As you can probably guess, the wheel broke before so I'm trying really hard to remind myself that I'm a fairy, I don't care what anybody thinks and I'm unique and special and full of life and happy etcetc. I have to really try. Feeling like oldme is utterly horrible. It really feels like my insides are DROWNING with shame and I just feel awful. Genuinely makes you want to curl up and die. Being at home puts a lot of friction on the wheel. Going back to work at my old job especially does. It's weird because I used to consider oldme as pre-late 2013, but now there are aspects of before uni that I've started to consider at oldme, such as my old job.
Also, when the wheel is flowing and I have managed to kid myself into the illusion of happylittlenorthernlass, I often have to keep feeding it - whether by new clothes, or a new hairdo, or just something to make myself feel good about myself.
Someone please spin my wheel.
If ever the illusion breaks and I remember and feel like old, embarrassing me, I feel awful, depressed and hot under the collar. It is extremely uncomfortable. And once the illusion breaks, it's like a wheel is broken; the momentum is broken. It takes a great amount of mind control to push oldme out and remind myself of newme and MAKE myself believe it.
As you can probably guess, the wheel broke before so I'm trying really hard to remind myself that I'm a fairy, I don't care what anybody thinks and I'm unique and special and full of life and happy etcetc. I have to really try. Feeling like oldme is utterly horrible. It really feels like my insides are DROWNING with shame and I just feel awful. Genuinely makes you want to curl up and die. Being at home puts a lot of friction on the wheel. Going back to work at my old job especially does. It's weird because I used to consider oldme as pre-late 2013, but now there are aspects of before uni that I've started to consider at oldme, such as my old job.
Also, when the wheel is flowing and I have managed to kid myself into the illusion of happylittlenorthernlass, I often have to keep feeding it - whether by new clothes, or a new hairdo, or just something to make myself feel good about myself.
Someone please spin my wheel.
Original post by littlenorthernlass
Someone please spin my wheel.
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