Why do I do this if I like the guy?

The last guy I liked messed me up, I very much liked him to the point I'd want to say I loved him but held back. In the beginning he was the one that was attentive and want to call and so on but as I developed feelings he ended up airing me and not talking to me for days before even sending a message, I tried a lot because I really liked him. Regardless I got hurt and it HURTTTTTTTTT. Also the first guy I let my guards down for. This was over a year ago and I find that once a guy shows some interest in me and I start to develop feelings, I try to get out of the conversation or find ways to make it boring so he'll leave. BUT THIS MAKES NO SENSE IF I LIKE THE GUY. What do I do and why do I do this

I don't know.

But if you know you're doing it, why don't you stop doing it?

Unless you're bipolar or something

I've tried doing that but it's like a voice in my head is saying it's not worth it and I'm scared he's going to do me wrong like the last guy

The last guy I liked messed me up, I very much liked him to the point I'd want to say I loved him but held back. In the beginning he was the one that was attentive and want to call and so on but as I developed feelings he ended up airing me and not talking to me for days before even sending a message, I tried a lot because I really liked him. Regardless I got hurt and it HURTTTTTTTTT. Also the first guy I let my guards down for. This was over a year ago and I find that once a guy shows some interest in me and I start to develop feelings, I try to get out of the conversation or find ways to make it boring so he'll leave. BUT THIS MAKES NO SENSE IF I LIKE THE GUY. What do I do and why do I do this

Trust issues.

Did you meet in person or was this online?

How bad did it hurt?
bad or really bad?

What did he message you? It might be time to draft a loooong reply... or just ignore him forever.