Yeah… I’ve had a crush on someone for some time now and its so hard to move on, it’s frustrating because I haven’t been outright rejected but I made my feelings clear, I guess he didn’t feel the same (maybe cus I’m also a guy?... forgot to mention that) but we’re on good terms which is alright because my ‘crush’ is a lot deeper than just being attracted to him physically, in fact I think I only find him physically attractive because of everything else I like about him. Sometimes he ignores my texts which is annoying but he always end up apologising and never rejects meeting up, although he doesn’t initiate stuff often but I think he's like that with almost everyone and its that whole ignoring thing which makes you want their attention more right??? Like if they just replied and gave you the attention you wanted, you’d probably get over them a lot quicker
Anyway, I know the exact feeling. At first it felt amazing, I felt feelings I never felt before, I felt more happy, the more time I spent with him the more i discovered new things which I fell in love with, he changed my whole view on life, I would even go to say he changed the way I think and see everyday things.. then it all became too much and I missed them and it was making me depressed because I wanted to discover more things and share the things I loved with him and shortly came the whole (kind of) rejection… the end of November till mid January went from depressing to great to depressing to great and then SUPER depressed. It was horrible, the one thing I found thats great is using all these emotions to put energy into yourself, making yourself better and instead of finding someone else to love, fall in love with yourself. Personally I crush/fall in love really hard when someone fills my voids (and I have SO MANY) so I’ve taken the time to fill them myself and live my best life. I think thats why crushes can get depressing, because you have an empty part of you that you want them to fill (on a spiritual level not your vagina)