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Asking a girl if she likes me

I mean, I really don't know. The pessimist in me says she deffo doesn't (sometimes she just ends out chats after a while, says she is almost always busy doing doing work) but the optimist in me (plays badminton with me for hours, makes suggestions and is excited when I do bring up doing stuff, not always me reply first, before I said goodnight xx and she reciprocated but when when she saw I was still active on fb she said goodnight xx again with some other stuff and said she was going to sleep, goes out of her way to touch me, ie. brushing up more than is standard, playful fits, grabs when laughing, that kind of thing).

Anyway, I have been on a couple of dates recently and the girls are fine but I can't help but think 'I wish I was doing this with her'.

Should I tell her? I mean it'll make when we play badminton weekly awkward unless she feels the same, and it is quite annoying after we have a great flirty convo for a while then just stops

She is not a super outgoing girl, not miss popular but not too shy either, she doesn't go out so much so the work thing isn't entirely implausible but never being free is a stretch. I have only asked twice, didn't want to keep going on about it, she does architecture, ongoing graded assignments and stuff

General thoughts? If I ask her if she likes me, how should I put it? Short and to the point? Talk a while first?

Thanks a lot In advance

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I think, the best thing you can do is play to HER strengths. If she is solitary, do something solitary (I am not being perverted). Why not offer to study together in a library or something? It seems to me that as she is not really outgoing, the best thing is to let it come naturally. If she likes you, maybe you will be able to break a barrier and go to the movies with her or maybe just go for a walk. If she feels that you are someone she can be alone with, then you can talk more openly.

However, if you think that it is time to break the silence, do it gently so that you can get a feel for what the situation is and can back out without too much embarrassment.
Reply 2
Original post by Ben_dyson
I think, the best thing you can do is play to HER strengths. If she is solitary, do something solitary (I am not being perverted). Why not offer to study together in a library or something? It seems to me that as she is not really outgoing, the best thing is to let it come naturally. If she likes you, maybe you will be able to break a barrier and go to the movies with her or maybe just go for a walk. If she feels that you are someone she can be alone with, then you can talk more openly.

However, if you think that it is time to break the silence, do it gently so that you can get a feel for what the situation is and can back out without too much embarrassment.


Yeah, that is a pretty sensible and logical response to be fair, cheers.

Could offer to study together, I do a different course but I would be happy doing that. But if she doesn't like me, it might seems a bit desperate(?) that I would offer to study with her just to spend time with her, so maybe I should be sure of her feelings more beforr that.

When I offered to go to a film she said she really wanted to see Black Panther, came up again yesterday in convo whilst we were playing badminton and she said she didn't go with her friends when they went to see it (after we first talked about it).

Maybe I could message her one time asked if she wants to go for a walk when I am coming back from the gym/sports centre as I pass hers omw

How best would I break the silence? I figured mentioning my dates and saying, I just thought I'd rather be doing them with you sounded nice but wouldn't lead me to finding out
From what you've written it seems she's into you. I think you should ask her directly, face to face, rather than online. Maybe slowly bring it up in an already established conversation..? Just be confident in yourself

Are you going to uni as well, or are you in a full-time job? If you go to the same uni it might get awkward if she rejects you but idk

But hey ho, I’m pretty sure she likes you back anyway 😊
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah, that is a pretty sensible and logical response to be fair, cheers.

Could offer to study together, I do a different course but I would be happy doing that. But if she doesn't like me, it might seems a bit desperate(?) that I would offer to study with her just to spend time with her, so maybe I should be sure of her feelings more beforr that.

When I offered to go to a film she said she really wanted to see Black Panther, came up again yesterday in convo whilst we were playing badminton and she said she didn't go with her friends when they went to see it (after we first talked about it).

Maybe I could message her one time asked if she wants to go for a walk when I am coming back from the gym/sports centre as I pass hers omw

How best would I break the silence? I figured mentioning my dates and saying, I just thought I'd rather be doing them with you sounded nice but wouldn't lead me to finding out


This is great. She wants to go and see Black Panther, so take the opportunity - she asked to see it, so you won’t seem desperate. The reason for doing the study in a public library is that it is disguising your approach to her, you are not in her room or anything, so she thinks nothing awkward can come of it. If she says no then you sort of know what she feels, i.e. she isn’t quite ready, but if she says yes then you are one step up the ladder, and best of all, it won’t interfere with your or her daily study.
You do have to be really careful though not to let her think of you as too much of a best friend. I think if you leave it too long, then she might start just seeing you as her BFF; I would say, leave a maximum of two weeks before making an official date.
The worst thing you could do is store it up inside you, it could leave you feeling depressed and you will probably lose your drive. If you feel you can’t hold it in then take advantage of the passion and say it in person. This may seem old fashioned, but written words can be misinterpreted a lot easier.

Best of luck
Doesn't seem like she's into you tbf pal
(edited 6 years ago)
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
From what you've written it seems she's into you. I think you should ask her directly, face to face, rather than online. Maybe slowly bring it up in an already established conversation..? Just be confident in yourself

Are you going to uni as well, or are you in a full-time job? If you go to the same uni it might get awkward if she rejects you but idk

But hey ho, I’m pretty sure she likes you back anyway 😊


Both at uni but not in the same halls or course, have never bumped into her outside of badminton and when she came up to table tennis once, so not the end of the world. She only comes to badminton when I am there so it would be all right
Send her nudes, if she doesn't call the police then she likes you.
Flirt a little. If she reciprocates, you're in.
Reply 9
Original post by Ben_dyson
This is great. She wants to go and see Black Panther, so take the opportunity - she asked to see it, so you won’t seem desperate. The reason for doing the study in a public library is that it is disguising your approach to her, you are not in her room or anything, so she thinks nothing awkward can come of it. If she says no then you sort of know what she feels, i.e. she isn’t quite ready, but if she says yes then you are one step up the ladder, and best of all, it won’t interfere with your or her daily study.
You do have to be really careful though not to let her think of you as too much of a best friend. I think if you leave it too long, then she might start just seeing you as her BFF; I would say, leave a maximum of two weeks before making an official date.
The worst thing you could do is store it up inside you, it could leave you feeling depressed and you will probably lose your drive. If you feel you can’t hold it in then take advantage of the passion and say it in person. This may seem old fashioned, but written words can be misinterpreted a lot easier.

Best of luck


One of my mates said the fact she says she is busy negates the rest and probably just means she is being nice? Also the randomly ending convos, I just don't get it sometimes as when we talk over fb and rl it is great and all the rest I mentioned

I asked but I have a bad habit of being general maybe I'll say X cinema, X times and see what she says I guess
Original post by johnny.snow
Flirt a little. If she reciprocates, you're in.


We have in person plenty, that's why I am confused with the rest of what I said
Original post by SoggyCabbages
Send her nudes, if she doesn't call the police then she likes you.


Bit risqué brah
why wait to ask her? she could die next week and you'd feel guilty for years, no point waiting just tell her!
Original post by Gent2324
why wait to ask her? she could die next week and you'd feel guilty for years, no point waiting just tell her!


Just plainly, 'Do you like me?' would be awkward if not, even if she said yeah would rather ask more subtly
Original post by Ben_dyson
This is great. She wants to go and see Black Panther, so take the opportunity - she asked to see it, so you won’t seem desperate. The reason for doing the study in a public library is that it is disguising your approach to her, you are not in her room or anything, so she thinks nothing awkward can come of it. If she says no then you sort of know what she feels, i.e. she isn’t quite ready, but if she says yes then you are one step up the ladder, and best of all, it won’t interfere with your or her daily study.
You do have to be really careful though not to let her think of you as too much of a best friend. I think if you leave it too long, then she might start just seeing you as her BFF; I would say, leave a maximum of two weeks before making an official date.
The worst thing you could do is store it up inside you, it could leave you feeling depressed and you will probably lose your drive. If you feel you can’t hold it in then take advantage of the passion and say it in person. This may seem old fashioned, but written words can be misinterpreted a lot easier.

Best of luck


Black Panther is excellent by the way :P
Original post by Anonymous
Just plainly, 'Do you like me?' would be awkward if not, even if she said yeah would rather ask more subtly


no ask her to meetup first with just u and her (cinema), it means you like her but its not explicit so it wouldnt be awkward, if she says yes then at the cinema just start cuddling her and when u see the sign that shes into you ie. shes leaning in for a kiss or feeling u up or anything then say like i kinda like yo you know or something like that because you will probably not be rejected if shes already all over you
Original post by getmeoffmyphone
Black Panther is excellent by the way :P


It is the best Marvel film in a while. They have finally figured out that it is better not to make extemely serious films.
Original post by Ben_dyson
It is the best Marvel film in a while. They have finally figured out that it is better not to make extemely serious films.


Absolutely! I loved the diversity too, it was so great :biggrin:
Original post by Anonymous
We have in person plenty, that's why I am confused with the rest of what I said


What do you mean you asked twice (your OP)?

If she's flirting there' a good chance she likes you. Don' have to ask her. Just ask her out.
Does she ever msg you first? If not she either isn’t into you or you’re not giving her enough space to realise she’s into you. Don’t msg her for a while and see if she pops up?

Otherwise, deffo ask her to Black Panther and then if that goes well ask her out again within a week or so; maybe to a party or something? Simply because party atmospheres make talking about romance less awkward, but parties may not be your scene so studying is good.

If you’re gonna talk to her outright just be chill; say something along the lines of ‘just fyi I’m really into you’ or something. Don’t ask her how she feels; she’ll tell you she likes you if she does, forcing her to say no just makes it more awkward than it needs to be.

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