Advice about a girl in school
I thank in advance any responses this may get.
There’s a girl in my year (let’s call her Mary) who shares a lot of the same interests as me; music, poetry est… I never really knew much about her so I decided to ask her to help me with my music performance piece, she said yes and gave me her number. We got to know each other more and more. I started to notice possible signs of attraction on a school trip; we kept to looking at each other while walking with our group of friends; I never took much notice of it. She later invited me out with her best friend; just to talk about music and stuff. It was great to see her outside of school. At school I would often catch her looking at me and when I looked back she quickly looked away. I kept talking about her more to my friends and they would go up to her asking questions. She sent me a text saying that she’s not really interested in anything else than the music project we were working on. I took this as her saying that she’s not interested in me. Whenever I spoke to her with her best friend around, her best friend would always squeal in a high pitched friendly way. Mary would still stare at me and I would often hear her talking about me to people, asking questioning about me to class mates. Sometimes when I talk to her, her voice sounds really nervous; she always tries to fix her hair. I think she also kicked me under the table once, maybe to get my attention but I just ignored it. I have asked her out to go to concerts and stuff but she’s said that she’s really busy; though I sometimes ask her if she’s got anything going on the weekend and she always says no. I’ve searched up a lot of these signs and they appear to be signs of attraction but at the same time she has said that she’s not interested in anything else than working on the music project with me. What do you think?
There’s a girl in my year (let’s call her Mary) who shares a lot of the same interests as me; music, poetry est… I never really knew much about her so I decided to ask her to help me with my music performance piece, she said yes and gave me her number. We got to know each other more and more. I started to notice possible signs of attraction on a school trip; we kept to looking at each other while walking with our group of friends; I never took much notice of it. She later invited me out with her best friend; just to talk about music and stuff. It was great to see her outside of school. At school I would often catch her looking at me and when I looked back she quickly looked away. I kept talking about her more to my friends and they would go up to her asking questions. She sent me a text saying that she’s not really interested in anything else than the music project we were working on. I took this as her saying that she’s not interested in me. Whenever I spoke to her with her best friend around, her best friend would always squeal in a high pitched friendly way. Mary would still stare at me and I would often hear her talking about me to people, asking questioning about me to class mates. Sometimes when I talk to her, her voice sounds really nervous; she always tries to fix her hair. I think she also kicked me under the table once, maybe to get my attention but I just ignored it. I have asked her out to go to concerts and stuff but she’s said that she’s really busy; though I sometimes ask her if she’s got anything going on the weekend and she always says no. I’ve searched up a lot of these signs and they appear to be signs of attraction but at the same time she has said that she’s not interested in anything else than working on the music project with me. What do you think?
Original post by Anonymous
My friend is asking if you have discord? He's more than happy to give you a detailed opinion
I only use discord for close friends; it’s very private. Sorry
Original post by Anonymous
I only use discord for close friends; it’s very private. Sorry
That is fine. My apologies for suggesting this
Original post by Anonymous
... I have asked her out to go to concerts and stuff but she’s said that she’s really busy; though I sometimes ask her if she’s got anything going on the weekend and she always says no.
As others have said, the bits in bold are clear signs she's not interested in you.
Whenever a girl (or anyone) says "I'm busy", it's almost always code for "leave me alone!" (yes, even when she says she's "really really sowwry" ). Think about it, when you're at home or out in town and you encounter 'charity-muggers', religious groups or similar types of people knocking on your door or trying to stop you, I bet most times you'd respond with something along the lines of "Sorry, I'm busy".
Pretty much the ONLY exception is when they're clear about what they're busy with, AND when they expect to be free (e.g. "I've got a major assignment deadline for the end of next week, but I should be free sometime the week after that"). She should also volunteer this information (you shouldn't have to ask for it)... the fact she can't even be bothered to make something up with what she's busy with is a sure sign she's not interested.
I’ve searched up a lot of these signs and they appear to be signs of attraction but at the same time she has said that she’s not interested in anything else than working on the music project with me. What do you think?
I think you need to carefully consider your sources, because you've clearly been misguided (when a girl says she's busy it's a sign of interest?!? Really?!?). Whilst there is some truth that looking and playing with hair can be a sign of interest, they can also be signs of nervousness or suspicion.
If you've got any respect for her, or if you give a damn about your friendship, I strongly suggest you accept this and go looking for some other girl. I'm warning you, if you keep pushing this one, she's going to get irritated, and you'll be denoted from the "Friend" zone into "That creepy annoying guy I can't get rid of" zone.
(edited 11 months ago)
Original post by Anonymous
That is fine. My apologies for suggesting this
It’s ok, not your fault!
Thanks for your advice!
Original post by Old Skool Freak
As others have said, the bits in bold are clear signs she's not interested in you.
Whenever a girl (or anyone) says "I'm busy", it's almost always code for "leave me alone!" (yes, even when she says she's "really really sowwry" ). Think about it, when you're at home or out in town and you encounter 'charity-muggers', religious groups or similar types of people knocking on your door or trying to stop you, I bet most times you'd respond with something along the lines of "Sorry, I'm busy".
Pretty much the ONLY exception is when they're clear about what they're busy with, AND when they expect to be free (e.g. "I've got a major assignment deadline for the end of next week, but I should be free sometime the week after that"). She should also volunteer this information (you shouldn't have to ask for it)... the fact she can't even be bothered to make something up with what she's busy with is a sure sign she's not interested.
I think you need to carefully consider your sources, because you've clearly been misguided (when a girl says she's busy it's a sign of interest?!? Really?!?). Whilst there is some truth that looking and playing with hair can be a sign of interest, they can also be signs of nervousness or suspicion.
If you've got any respect for her, or if you give a damn about your friendship, I strongly suggest you accept this and go looking for some other girl. I'm warning you, if you keep pushing this one, she's going to get irritated, and you'll be denoted from the "Friend" zone into "That creepy annoying guy I can't get rid of" zone.
Whenever a girl (or anyone) says "I'm busy", it's almost always code for "leave me alone!" (yes, even when she says she's "really really sowwry" ). Think about it, when you're at home or out in town and you encounter 'charity-muggers', religious groups or similar types of people knocking on your door or trying to stop you, I bet most times you'd respond with something along the lines of "Sorry, I'm busy".
Pretty much the ONLY exception is when they're clear about what they're busy with, AND when they expect to be free (e.g. "I've got a major assignment deadline for the end of next week, but I should be free sometime the week after that"). She should also volunteer this information (you shouldn't have to ask for it)... the fact she can't even be bothered to make something up with what she's busy with is a sure sign she's not interested.
I think you need to carefully consider your sources, because you've clearly been misguided (when a girl says she's busy it's a sign of interest?!? Really?!?). Whilst there is some truth that looking and playing with hair can be a sign of interest, they can also be signs of nervousness or suspicion.
If you've got any respect for her, or if you give a damn about your friendship, I strongly suggest you accept this and go looking for some other girl. I'm warning you, if you keep pushing this one, she's going to get irritated, and you'll be denoted from the "Friend" zone into "That creepy annoying guy I can't get rid of" zone.
She may have had a crush on you but not want a relationship. Sometimes girls like someone but decide they don't like them enough to go out with them, and sometimes they only realise this after they've made it clear they like them in the first place... - it can be confusing and I apologise. It seems clear at this point that she's not interested
Thanks, that seems like the most likely answer.
Original post by Anonymous
She may have had a crush on you but not want a relationship. Sometimes girls like someone but decide they don't like them enough to go out with them, and sometimes they only realise this after they've made it clear they like them in the first place... - it can be confusing and I apologise. It seems clear at this point that she's not interested
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